Alicia: Hey, just a heads up the episode.

You're about to listen to, as The
Lost Boys written by Jan Fisher,

James Jeremiah's and Jeffrey Boehm,
and was directed by Joel Schumacher.

Our hosts have ranked
this movie is spooky.

If you'd like to learn more about the
movie, discuss this evening, please

visit our website progressively
horrified.transistor.fm for show.

Relevant links and transcripts of
each episode after the spooky music.

We'll talk about the episode in full.

So be forewarned.

There will be spoilers.

Now let's get on with the show.

Jeremy: Good evening and welcome to
Progressively Horrified the podcast

where we hold horror to progressive
standards it never agreed to.

Tonight, is our third week of pride, but
we decided to talk about a vampire movie,

which is totally and definitely, not gay.

It's The Lost Boys.

I am your host, Jeremy
Whitley and with me tonight.

I have a panel of
cinephiles and Cenobites.

First, they're here to invade
your house and find queer content

in all your favorite movies, my
co-host and comic book writer.

Ben Kahn.

Ben, how are you tonight?

Ben: Man, vampire Kiefer
Sutherland got mad gross feet.

Emily: That's what happens
when you're a vampire.

They don't talk about it.

Ben: Right?

Like they don't mention that,
they're like, by the way, your feet

going to be like mad, fucked up

Jeremy: very hard to shop for shoes.

Emily: That's why we wear the doc martins.

Emmett: Yes.

Big stompy goth boots.

Jeremy: And we picked her up
at the spooky crossroads of

anime and sexy monster media.

It's co-host and comics,
artists, Emily Martin.

Now, already tonight, Emily?.

Emily: I am in my element.

This is my home of sexual
and I'm happy to be here.

Jeremy: Fantastic.

I'm glad we found it.

And our special guest tonight,
our friend and comics, writer,

and artist, Emmett Hobbes.

Emmett, so happy to finally have you.

Emmett: I am very excited
to talk about gay vampires.

It's my favorite thing in the world.

Jeremy: There's so much talk about
with this movie before we jump in.

Let's do a little bit of the
basics because I wrote, a lot

of ridiculous things here.

This is directed by Joel Schumacher.

Before he died, he directed St.

Elmo's fire, Flatliners falling
down, Batman forever, Batman and

Robin, eight millimeters, phone
booth, the Phantom of the opera, the

number 23, and most importantly, the
video for Seal's kiss from a rose

Emily: Jeremy.

Hey Jeremy, did you
know that when it snows,

Jeremy: your eyes become alive?

Emily: And, uh.

Jeremy: BAY-BAY!

Emmett: The next line.

Emily: Very good, thank you.

Jeremy: This is written by Jan Fisher and
James Jeremiah did the original draft.

And then we have Jeffrey Boehm who
was also the writer on the dead zone,

lethal weapon, one, two and three,
interspace, Indiana Jones, and the last

crusade witches of Eastwick the Phantom,
and the creator of Brisco county Jr.

The fantastic show
starring Bruce Campbell.

Jason Patric, Kiefer Sutherland,
Dianne Wiest, Corey Haim,

Corey Feldman, Alex Winter.

We could go on and on the, you know,
the granddad from Gilmore girls is

a very, very present in this movie.

Ben: You mean the dad from Richie Rich?

Jeremy: No.

I mean the granddad Gilmore girls.

Emily: Yes.

Ben: Corey Haim.

Legitimately giving a great
leading kid performance.

Kiefer Sutherland steals
every scene he's in.

Yeah.

Corey Feldman making the most bunkers
acting decisions I've ever seen.

The acting in this movie, I
feel runs like such the gammut.

Jason Patric is giving me Adrian
Pasdar Near Dark vibes, which by

the way, those two movies were
released like four months apart.

Like what the fuck?

Uh, Lost Boys did significantly
better at the box office.

And I wonder if that hurt near
dark, Like if people saw Near

Dark and were like, yeah, that's
just fucking lost boys rip off.

We saw that in the summer
and just like, stayed home.

Jeremy: They're so similar in a lot
of ways, but they approach the idea

of vampires so differently because
like, this is just steeped in vampire

mythology and lower and stuff.

And near dark was like,
what the fuck are vampires?

We were not going to save
the empire the entire time.

We're going to like come up
with a cure for being a vampire.

It's bonkers.

The w the way that this is all put
together uh, I was reading in the sort

of trivia about this movie, that the
original idea for it in the script that

Jan Fisher and James Jeremias wrote is
that like, they were going much more

literal with The Lost Boys as all of
them being kids and kid vampires and

less with the sexy teen vampires, which
I think really accounts for the weird

dichotomy of this movie as like eighties,
family adventure, also vampire sex romp.

Emily: Yeah.

Ben: That's why it works so well!

Emily: Like this movie, you know,
you have two separate movies

happening, but it still manages to
make them work together really well.

Jeremy: Jason Patric is
just moving between them.

Ben: Stranger things did that, but
season a television that what this movie

does just what you're talking about.

It has separate characters in separate
ages, doing different genres that

are like age appropriate but then
they all dovetail really nicely.

Also I have one more thing
to say about Corey Feldman.

That's a lie.

I have a thousand more things to say
about Corey Feldman in this movie,

both looks and acts like Christian
bale got hit with a de-aging ray,

Emily: Like right now, Christian
bale just suddenly became a small,

like, not even a de-aging ray.

It just became a smaller
version of himself.

Ben: Like a live action version
of that justice league, unlimited

episode where the justice league
get turned into kids, but they still

have their adult personalities.

Like you'd get Corey Feldman
is like 14 year old Batman.

How many cigarettes did he have
to gargle before he did the This

cave, it's all one big coffin.

Lost Boys: You said there
was supposed to be coffins.

That's what this cave
is: one giant coffin.

Jeremy: It's wild to me because we did
Friday the 13th back during October.

I went through and watched a whole
bunch of the other Friday, the 13th

afterwards and in Friday the 13th part
four arguably one of the better ones,

Corey Feldman basically plays the same
character Corey Haim is playing in

this movie as he's the younger brother
of the teen who's involved in the

whole ax murdering part of the movie.

Ben: Hold on though, are his
shirts are as fantastic as

Corey Haim's are in this movie?

Emmett: Yeah, that's an important detail.

Ben: Corey Haim's fashion in
this film is fuckin' point.

And

Emily: he knows it.

He does, he gets called out for
it and he's like, no, fuck you.

Ben: But yeah, he gets called
out on it by the guy who was

wearing all camo the entire movie.

Jamison Newlander this poor kid is trying
his best to like command any attention.

And he has next to the flaming Inferno
of what the fuck am I watching that

is Corey Feldman delivering any line?

Jeremy: This movie has the unfortunate
side effect that there are other people

in it, like Jami Gertz who plays Star.

Like she's ostensibly the love
interest for Michael, but no sooner

does does Michael meet the group
of boys in this, then she just sort

of disappears into the background.

Emmett: Because she's not
actually his object of affection.

It ends up being David.

So she's more like a, an aspirational
role versus wanting to be her boyfriend.

Ben: Kiefer Sutherland again.

He steals every scene, but when he is on
screen, you cannot look away from him.

Jeremy: I was surprised having seen
this movie quite a few times, a long

time ago, then having been a while,
watching this now, how few lines Kiefer

Sutherland actually has he's not on
screen all that much, but when he is, he

just pulls all of the attention to him.

Emily: He's like an actual, like
Luciferian figure with this cherubic

face and he is literally shining.

Ben: And his death is spoilers.

He dies at the end is downright angelic.

He was given like a good night,
sweet prince made angels, take

him to his, whatever like that.

Like everyone else is like, I'm
going to get hit with sparks until

my limbs fly off and then I explode
and he just gets like soft falling,

light sexy lovingly on his face.

Jeremy: The wild thing is Kiefer
Sutherland is so magnetic in this that you

can't even look away from him when he's
standing next to Edward Herrmann's shirt,

which looks like he's fucking Huey Lewis.

Like all the time.

Every shirt that he's
wearing, it's just like what?

You're so tall.

And there's so much of that loud shirt.

Emmett: So good.

Ben: One of the fucking henchman
vampires is Alex Winter.

Jeremy: William S.

Preston esquire himself.

Ben: And I know it's two years before
Bill and Ted but it is still just the

wild, seeing Alex Winter as just this like
fabulous eighties vampire with two lines.

Emily: Yeah, but he is one
of the names of vampires.

Yes.

There's Paul he's Marco, David.

And then

Jeremy: Dwayne is the other one.

Ben: Dwayne, the Vampire really sounds
like a what we do in the shadows joke.

Emily: This movie became a,
what do the shadows joke.

Ben: They do the, when they
do the maggots, like for rice

thing, I won't, I stopped.

I was like, ah, the thing they mentioned,
then what we do in the shadows.

Emily: We got that idea
from The Lost Boys.

What We Do: Please.

Nick, eat some biz Getty.

I didn't realize you
enjoyed eating worlds, Nick.

They are world there's worms,
wiggling around my place.

We stole that idea from the last.

But they put a nice twist on the mic.

How did it feel to have
a snake for a penis?

Okay.

Jackie, my penis has
disappeared is a Cobra.

Emily: You have a snake for a penis.

Now it's a regular penis.

Ben: Man, fucking David coulda made the
snake for a penis work without a doubt.

Emily: You know, I think it
would have been better if they

tried that on the frog brothers?

Jeremy: The IMDb on this says after moving
to a new town, two brother discovered

the area as a Haven for vampires,
which is what this movie is about.

It doesn't really capture
it though, you know?

Ben: Yeah.

Emily: That's it, that's a setting.

This is not an, it's not a
description of the story.

Ben: As a whole, this
soundtrack slaps the music.

This movie is fucking amazing.

Jeremy: The most amazing thing is that
cry, little sister was written for this

moving the movie had not been filmed yet.

And they were tasked with writing the
theme for the movie and like, from reading

the script, they wrote cry a little sister

.
Ben: Amazing.

So that's the original theme,
like fucking hell, nailed it.

Jeremy: Yeah.

That is one,

Emily: two, bam.

Ben: People are strange in the opening.

Amazing.

Emily: Cover by echo and the Bunnymen.

Ben: I still believe
shirtless sexy sax, man.

Like the entirety of, I still believe.

Emily: Yeah.

I know.

We'll wait, go to wherever you get your
music, go to your Spotify or whatever.

Okay.

You've got it now.

Just listen to it low
while we talk on repeat.

Ben: I've been listening to,
I still believe like nonstop

since watching this movie.

Joel Shumacher got Cry
little sister for this movie.

And then for Batman forever,
he got kiss from a rose.

Emmett: And then he made
Phantom of the opera.

What happened buddy?

Ben: Until I was in my twenties.

I truly believe Phantom of the opera
was a story about a cannibal monster

Like, I really, I don't know why, but
I really thought he was eating people.

And that's a

Emmett: valid assumption.

Emily: So Emmett, you chose
this movie for us to watch now.

Yes.

You didn't really need to
twist our arms but why did

you specifically pick this one.

Emmett: I'm actually
not a huge horror buff.

I wasn't, I grew up in the
heat of the satanic panic.

And so I was allowed to watch Frank
Peretti movies, which Frank Peretti

was a Christian horror author.

And that was it.

And so like my backlog of this stuff,
I'm still working through and I watched

this for the first time, like a couple of
years ago and didn't super get into it.

And then I gave it another shot
after I transitioned and was like,

all right, I'm like a gay guy now.

And then I watched it and
I was like, whoa, fuck.

Okay.

This hits different now.

It's great.

And I just, I love how unabashedly
queer it is in like their explicit

ways, but also not explicit.

And I think it just tows
that line so beautifully.

Ben: That Shumacher goodness.

Yeah.

Also big mood on certain movies
hitting differently after.

That's uh, but I'm a cheerleader for me.

I'm like, yeah, I was already
way too into this movie and I was

hitting uh, get an even harder.

Emmett: Yeah.

Yeah.

Emily: The one thing, one thing I
wrote down with during my recap, is

that I really enjoyed the fact that
Corey Haim's character, Sam is the

gayest one and he is not the monster.

You know what you can argue that
Michael's whole relationship with

David has some, forbidden aspects.

Jeremy: Would you need to argue that?

Ben: Are you Michael's drank
David's blood and then become

semi-transparent dream montage.

As we just get him in a semi orgasmic
bliss while the vampires, just the

whisper, his name over and over again.

Emily: It could be Nightbreed is what I'm
saying, where like a guy goes out and gets

like some crazy dude sucks on his neck.

And he's like, and I'm that now
go figure, look at my chest.

Jeremy: Nightbreed I've been having
dreams that I'm part of a gay collective

of monsters and I'm going to go find it.

Emily: Yeah.

Ben: If you haven't seen Nightbreed is
very gay, but what if it was like, what if

we did good production values and then we
forgot to do good acting or good writing.

Emily: Yeah.

No, no Nightbier- Nightbeard.

Nightbread 2.

It's nice for you to

Ben: I hope you're writing this down!

Knight beard.

Yeah.

Jeremy: I think that's what
Star is in this movie, right?

Emily: Yeah.

A little bit.

Ben: Ooh.

That hit good.

Yeah.

So I'm giving you the
snaps for that one, Jeremy.

Jeremy: This movie is encoded into my
DNA in a weird way in that, like I was

telling Emmett before we started I don't
know how many people listening to this

will have this same experience, but my
parents had VHS's of multiple movies

they had recorded off of TV when they
came on one of those movies that was

on, like, it was on a VHS with several
other movies, some of which we couldn't

watch because they were too adult.

But like, this was the
first one on, on this VHS.

And I watched The Lost Boys so
many times and like, I grew up

partially in Southern California.

So like I have these sort of sensory
associations with this movie in a way that

like, when it comes on and they're doing
that pan over the Santa Cruz, boardwalk

and cry, a little sister is playing and
when they're showing the people on the

street and they're playing, people are
strange and it's just like, oh, wow.

I'm transported to a time sitting,
in a living room watching a tiny

CRT TV with my brother or watching
this movie over and over and over.

Not catching any of this stuff
that we're talking about now

being like, yeah, vampires.

Emily: It's a very, like, I
look forward to when I can

feel ways about stuff kind of.

Jeremy: I watched it was Alicia
this time and this was her first

time seeing it, which isn't an
entirely different experience.

And I was reminded of this, cause you
were talking about Corey Haim and she

was like, you have to tell them my
favorite part of this movie is Corey Haim.

Y'all like, I can't believe that
my own brother goddamn shit-sucking

vampire, this delivery of this stuff
is just like, so it's so wonderful

Lost Boys: Mike what happened?

Nanook.

What about Nanook?!

What'd you do to my dog, you asshole?

Nothing.

I didn't hurt him.

He bit me.

This is my blood.

Why'd he bite you, Mike?

Huh?

What'd you do to him?

He was protecting you.

Look your reflection in the mirror.

You're a creature of the night,
Michael, just like out of a comic books!

You're a vampire Michael!

My own brother!

A goddamn shit sucking vampire.

Well you wait til mom finds out, buddy.

Sam wait.

Sam!

Jeremy: Because there's this point at the
middle of this movie when you're like.

Oh, this is a dark serious vampire
movie where he's hungry and he's

going to like bite his brother.

And then like within the next five
minutes, he gets attacked by the dog.

Doesn't kill the dog and tells
his brother what's going on.

And it was like, oh, that
changes the entire movie.

Ben: This dog.

How great is the dog?

Emily: Cody the Dog!

Emmett: Cody the Dog, yep.

Emily: I was trying to look this
up, but it's really hard to find the

specific video about Cody, the talking
dog, because I saw there was a show

like an animal planet show back in
the nineties, that was like, this is

the Alaskan Malamute that can talk.

Now.

A lot of them can like, make sounds.

It's not a specific to that dog thing,
but I'm pretty sure this is Cody.

The talking dog that I saw on
like an animal planet thing when

he was like, I roll through.

And I'm like, I believe that dog fucking
talks, and he loves me and he does taxes.

And he's like the one who arranged this
whole situation for the family to move

Ben: Are you saying this dog?

Cause Diane Wiest to get divorced?

Emily: Probably.

It was probably better for her, honestly.

I'm pretty sure this dog was like now
this is how you avoid this legal battle.

Alright?

Talks about the prenup.

Ben: So nine movies out of 10,
that dog would be the MVP but he

can't be the MVP of this movie
because this movie has grandpa.

Emily: Yes.

I'll go through the recap if that's cool.

Yes.

Okay.

We hear the banger cry little sister.

Oh my God.

And then the fucking synth and the, drum
machine situation, it's like, you can

feel that shit, you can see the neon.

Ben: They don't have to do much.

All they really have to do is
film on location in Santa Cruz

and honestly, Santa Cruz being
Santa Cruz does the rest, right?

Emily: Yeah.

They do like make a point, of
like Santa Cruz beach boardwalk.

Here we are, because this first scene
where flying in over the boardwalk.

Our titular Lost Boys
Kiefer, cellar, Sutherland.

Bill S Preston, Esquire, Twisted
Sister, and The Brunette One , are

harassing people at the boardwalk.

Ben: I love this scene because aside from
them being vampires, yeah, this would

happen any Friday or Saturday night at the
boardwalk in the eighties at Santa Cruz.

Emily: Yeah.

And security officer breaks them up and
then gets attacked later by the air?

Question mark?

Something scary happens to him from above.

Jeremy: He's attacked by bat
noises and a swooping camera.

Ben: I want to say, oh, maybe they got
that from Raimi Evil Dead 2, also 1987.

What the fuck?

1987.

Fantastic year for horror.

Oh yeah!

Emily: All these folks must be talking
to each other something, cause.

Jeremy: Joel Shumacher rented
a crane and he was like, I

am using this fucking thing.

Emily: Yeah.

A crane.

Well, he got like fucking helicopter
or something or he found some really

sweet footage, but so now mood shift.

Here is our real NBA MVP.

Sam played by Corey Haim.

His hair is also great.

Not as much of it, but
his shirt makes up for it.

Ben: He has nothing but incredibly
patterned colorful shirts, the whole move.

Emmett: It's just fantastic.

Ben: They're all a size too
big, but it's working for him.

Emily: The late eighties, early nineties
was the time of oversized clothing.

And it was really nice because it was
breathable and you didn't have to like

worry about sizes you're just like XL.

Done.

Ben: And he looks comfortable.

The whole movie, those are comfortable
outfits that are super fashionable.

Emmett: They're like a slouchy
cut, but they're perfectly tailored

for like his shape and stuff.

So he's not drowning in things.

It's just like a beautiful statuesque
silhouette of bowling carpet.

Emily: Yes.

Lots of patterns.

It's almost like a, some kind of
Renaissance, not Renaissance- Rococo,

different things like a Rococo situation.

And so We meet his family.

There's a Lucy who is his mom.

She is long suffering and the
only representation of semi

capable women in this movie.

She's Diane West a, you may recognize
her for being kind of the same

character in Edward Scissorhands.

Jeremy: She's your mom and my
mom and everybody else's mom.

Emily: So she's there and she's just
dealing with these kids who are you know,

they're great, but they're a bit much
because Michael played by Jason, Patric,

Sam's older brother is Jim Morrison.

That's it.

Ben: Honestly you're right.

And which kind of explains David's
obsession with Michael, given

the more Jim Morrison poster
he has in the vampire hotel.

Emily: Yeah.

They have this weird, cut
where they blend them together.

And I'm like, I don't know.

Other than the people are strange thing,
I don't know what this weird, obsession

with the doors is in this movie.

Michael looks like Jim Morrison.

Maybe it has something to do with the
fact that they live in Southern California

or middle California essentially.

And they like to be strange?

Now Santa Cruz was known as the
murder capital of the world.

Not because of vampires as far as we know,
but I believe because of the hillside

strangler, because there were a two, or
maybe even three serial killers active

in the late seventies in Santa Cruz.

If you want to know more about that, watch
mind hunter, or read a book or whatever.

There's like a million podcasts about it.

Anyway Santa Carla is crazy.

It's the murder capital of the world.

The entire town is just rides and
there's punks and goths and hippies.

David Cross is there.

We see a lot of posters
for missing children.

Some of them are boys.

Emmett: These boys are lost.

Emily: Well, no, one's found them yet.

Michael asked for jobs.

There's nothing legal apparently
at the gas station that he's at.

The next MVP is now introduced,
which is the grandpa.

He is a, an eccentric taxidermists living
in the Hills played by Bernard Hughes.

You're introduced to the grandpa.

He is like supine on the deck
and they think he's dead and.

Ben: What a character introduction, just
faking, being dead for shits and gigs.

Emmett: And mom is unfazed.

She's like dad.

Emily: Oh dad, dad.

Ben: We learned that Lucy, the mom is
divorced through a truly Savage line by

the grandpa that I had to write down.

He tells her to her face.

You're the only woman I ever knew
who didn't improve her situation

by getting divorced end quote.

Lost Boys: Lucy.

You're the only woman I ever knew.

Didn't improve her situation
by getting divorced.

Yeah, I know.

But a big legal battle wasn't going
to improve anybody's situation.

And you know, Daddy, we've
all been through enough.

Anyway, I was raised better than that.

Emily: I think that's grandpa filter.

His house is fucking awesome.

Emmett: Dream house.

Ben: This grandpa is living his
absolute best retirement life.

Emmett: Oh yeah.

He's just leaning into everything.

Ben: Like he is driving I think
the same car that Belle's dad

has and Beauty and the Beast.

Emily: This grandpa does uh, do a
lot better than Belle's dad though.

Um.

Jeremy: He's got the La Cucaracha
horn, which always like dies

halfway through with La Cucaracha
which is the best detail.

Emily: So again, Chekov's
La Cucaracha Jeep?

Ben: He just lives in
his awesome beach house.

Fucking taxidermy's animals
drives in his crazy car and bangs

window widows along the shore.

Fuck it.

He's got it made.

Emmett: But he doesn't
have any aftershave.

Ben: And you wanna now sumn?

He uses fucking Windex as aftershave.

And it works.

He fucking seals the deal.

Emily: Sam apparently had a Greek uncle
or something because Sam is the one who

suggests the Windex is the aftershave.

MBFGW: Look at this.

Rash.

Somebody gave me the mati.

Put some Windex on.

Oh Gus!

Please, please!

Ben: Also I love how he's asking for
aftershave, clearly not having shaved.

Emily: So now I would say
that this house seems crazy.

Like the kids go into the
house and they're like, this

is fucking, what the fuck?

What?

Ben: I just like how the first
thing, Michael unloads it unpacks his

weightlifting equipment, which he then
just immediately starts doing bicep curls.

Jeremy: He was really holding back.

He wanted to be doing that the whole time.

Emily: They, they are moving to Santa
Carla, not Santa Cruz, In order to

move in with dad and I'm pretty sure
this is a transition period for them.

And of course there's Nanook, the Malamute
who, at first I was like that poor dog.

And then I realized that the dog
was moving from Phoenix, Arizona.

So this is definitely an improvement.

Ben: Oh yeah, this dog's fine.

This dog's out a fucking body
count by the end of this movie.

Emily: This dog is like the
velociraptors, but on our side.

If this dog was in Jurassic Park...

Ben: Oh man.

Newman would still be alive or dead
faster before he could sell stuff.

Nanook would have been on it.

Emily: Yeah Nanook would
have hacked that shit.

He would found out white rabbit object.

Like Nanook would be like "I got it!"

Emmett: This voice that you've chosen.

Ben: I love your talking dogs.

Emily: That's what the dog
sounded like on the show!

Ben: Oh yeah, I've seen, I've
seen the video as you're talking

about it and it's very accurate.

Emily: Yeah.

Sounds like fucking Scooby doo.

Is this dog?

Ben: I love this grandpa.

His shelf in the fridge is
labeled old fart and he doesn't

own a TV, but he reads TV guide.

What a great, terrible grandpa.

Jeremy: His shelf is labeled
Old Fart when they get there.

So did he already have a shelf just
labeled Old Fart in the fridge?

So

Emily: Yes!

Absolutely!

That was all his like self-indulgent shit.

Jeremy: When widow Johnson spends
the night, she's not allowed to

take anything from that shelf?

Emily: I also want to mention in a scene.

Jason, Patric and Corey Haim are doing
the cutest little brother things where

they're like fucking with each other
and trying to like distract each other.

Like if it feels very
ad-libs and very fraternal.

You know, it's really cute.

Emmett: It's really organic and sweet.

Ben: Yeah.

Jeremy: They're better at
being two brothers then my

brother and I have ever been,

Emily: They are very sweet.

Emmett: Yeah.

They like care about each other.

Ben: Good brotherly chemistry.

Emily: Yes.

And they also give each other
shit, which is, you know,

it's not like too saccharine.

They give each other shit in various
ways that it is believable and organic.

Jeremy: There is a shit sucking vampires.

Emily: I really don't want
to dwell on that image.

Ben: That's a very different horror movie.

Emily: Monsturd.

Anyway, that's a real movie.

I haven't seen it.

Emmett: That's too bad.

Ben: I'm gonna re- humbly request that
we never put that on the schedule.

Emily: I will leave the podcast.

So if you ever want to get rid
of me, that's how you do it.

Ben: I got to say, imagine you
were told like, yo vampires.

Immortality.

You just have to feed.

And then it's like, okay, I can
kill people, but you didn't say

anything about where's the nearest
sun I'm going to right into the sun.

Speaking of it's fucked up that they're
trying to turn Laddie into a van higher,

like that's fucked up an eight year
old vampire and you're just condemning

someone to be like eight that's too much.

Yeah.

Emily: I think that was
definitely a max move.

David just wanted boyfriends.

I'm sure max is like, but we need a girl.

So we, we can

Ben: definitely get back to
being like nuclear family.

Yeah.

Emily: Somehow near

Jeremy: dark pulled exactly the same move.

Like months apart, they were like,
we should have a girl vampire

and then she should want a kid.

So we should turn a kid and do a vampire.

Emily: I think star probably turned
well, no, it started laughing.

We're both half fab

Ben: hires anybody.

I mean, again, this end dark Pope
dealing with the whole sense of

like, oh, you can be turned into a
vampire, but then you can be turned

back if you haven't killed anybody or
there's a difference if you haven't

killed anybody, I guess you're dark.

You just turned it on.

You can just get on vampire if you just
get like a regular ass blood transfusion.

Emily: So this is actually where
the most important scene in the

movie happens, which is what's this.

Sexy sax, man.

He has a name though.

I want to call him Tom Morello.

Not tomorrow.

Ben: It is.

It is Tim Capella.

Emily: Thank you.

So Tim Capello, former backup singer of
Tina Turner is wearing this fantastic

leather and chains and that's it like
he's got like, leather, hot pants

and some chains and a lot of oil.

And he is, yeah,

Jeremy: for him it was just at whose.

Emily: Yeah, that is the
energy that he is rocking.

He's doing this amazing.

Ben: Does this show twice
a week on during summers?

Emily: Yeah.

And you know what, like if the if I had
to pay like 50 bucks to get to the just

to spend a whole day on the the boardwalk
so I could see that show, I would like,

I would spend that and all the like hiked
up prices for the corn dogs or whatever,

Ben: okay.

No joke though.

Santa Cruz has like amazing
corn dogs, like corn dogs, sir,

every penny, Santa Cruz, they do
something different with the oil.

I don't know what it is.

They do.

My partner knows what it is
and they do, but their oil,

Emily: they put on Tim Capella.

Ben: Yes.

They used him Capella loyal

Emmett: secret,

Emily: or maybe they harvested

Ben: from murder.

Emmett: yeah.

Emily: Grace

Ben: oil going down the app gutters

clean that I cleaned that up.

Emily: So Michael is at the show
and he's like, I, this is okay.

I guess, because he's
busy looking at star.

Who's a very sexy, can

Jeremy: we talk about stars, dance

Ben: moves.

Jeremy: He has to rock back and forth.

Not even like, like most people rock
when they dance like rhythmically

from front to back, she just puts
one shoulder forward and then moves

Ben: the other shoulder around the forward
slowly and then rotating her shoulders.

Jeremy: Alicia nearly died when
this happens in the movie, which

is, she goes to dance and her dad.

Clap hands together, single gyration
of body, and then stop clapping.

Emily: She can't dance and look
at Michael at the same time.

I think she's using some kind of
discipline, like she's using presence

or something like that in order, you
know, it's like a social discipline, but

she's not a social primary obviously.

Jeremy: Michael, on the other
hand is just using creeper stare

Emily: on staring at her,

Ben: but it's super effective.

Emily: Yes.

And even Sam is like, Hey
we're, there's a sax man.

You should be paying attention to that.

Ben: I just think

He's me.

Emily: Yeah.

Michael is so gen X that he
can't even appreciate the ax man.

Lucy is wandering the boardwalk and finds
a boy who was lost, but it's only one.

So there are more, don't worry.

I'm fine.

Yeah.

And she goes to the video
tape, rental store something

Ben: I do miss the mom
and pop a video store.

Jeremy: I love the like
hanging eighties art in here.

Just the like framed bright shapes in

this place.

So just all over.

So there's a girl, that's a
cashier in this place who pops

up again, like prominently, like
framed background of a scene.

Apparently she's in a lot more scenes
and like the original cut of the movie

and all of her stuff was cut out.

It's been like weirdly
prominently framed here.

And then when the mom is talking on
the phone later, she's like excitedly

watching her in the background
and there's was like, the fuck.

Is that girls deal?

Emily: It is implied that there's
something going on with her.

Cause there's some sort of chemistry
between her and The Lost Boys, but

because they have a conversation,
but I, that's all we see of this

in the movie is them talking to her
through the TV screen cashier thing.

And she does work

Ben: for back.

So yeah.

Jeremy: Max doesn't
want them hanging around

Ben: here.

Here's your first glue
that they listened to max.

Even in a whatever old man kind of way.

Emily: the boys show up and max
was like, Hey, you get out of here.

And max introduces.

Himself, till Lucy offers her a job,
introduces her to his dog and his

clear glasses, which are now on Vogue.

Again, very good blood that, that,

Emmett: yeah, they're great.

Emily: They kind of rule,
I kind of love them.

And people these days rock them
so much better than this dude did.

And,

Ben: but he's

Jeremy: still, I was wondering
Eric Herrmann is six, five.

He doesn't just seem really tall.

He really is

Emily: quite tall.

He is a very large man, but
he looks very much like a dad.

In fact, he looks so much like one
of my students' dads that I awkwardly

encountered at a concert where I saw
the fix in Petaluma, shout out to Mr.

Mills.

He's not a vampire, any shortage
of that I know of who knows.

Anyway, sam is an into
girls, so he's into comics.

And

Jeremy: he says about
comics and seen as nonsense.

Ben: I love it.

Emmett: Brilliant.

Ben: I love his life.

Lori Lamar has hasn't even been
introduced as if Lori fucking Lamar

says ever mad at Superman cop.

Jeremy: Superman's, a mermaid ex

Ben: looking for a Batman 14.

Emily: Yeah.

Only four

Jeremy: of them in existence.

What the fuck kind of nonsense is that?

Ben: Was talking about it.

Like it is the blue eyes, white dragon

Jeremy: I'm looking for the fucking
piece of the big Zodiac in here, man.

Ben: Yeah.

You don't even have red kryptonite.

You can't put your seventies
with you 200 and twenties.

Well, the way

Emily: that they talk to each other
is so great because it's such like

my uncle works for an intense, like
posturing geek, posturing, bullshit.

It's so good.

And you know, and the frog
brothers are so serious.

Jeremy: I do have to say what I
do like about this comic book shop

is that it's not the nineties yet.

So the comics are just sort
of like out on the shelf.

They're not in like crazy bags
inside of a glass case somewhere.

Like, they're just like, this
is comics fucking everywhere.

This was, this is a real store.

I mean, it's no longer on the
boardwalk, but it's still in Santa Cruz.

Ben: What does it there?

What, like a year and a half out
from crisis on infinite earths?

Emily: Well, this

Ben: is 1987.

We got joy.

We'd light there and joined George
Perez wonder woman right now.

Emily: I'm sure Corey Haim's
character enjoys the shit out of that.

So Emmett, if you were in this comic
book store, where would you be in

the comic bookstore at this time?

Emmett: At this time?

I hope it would not be in the
comic bookstore because my mother,

Ben: let me read copy,

Emmett: but I would
have had social anxiety.

It would have been terrified.

I would be sitting outside
wistfully staring into the window.

Emily: Like can Corey Haim as somebody
who's like that passionate about comics,

and having that be like his character.

And I feel like there's, it's weird
because he's in the city and he's

supposed to be the country boy, but
he's very much the city boy in this

situation because the frogs are.

Like prodo libertarians.

Emmett: Yeah.

They're like little right-wing humor.

Emily: Yeah, absolutely.

Ben: I don't know what it says about
their like parents that we see a

few times we're just like eternally
asleep, passed out at the cash register

Emily: the mother and frog
father as noted in the credits.

Jeremy: This is Atlanta's fantasy world
is the name of the comic book shop.

And in fact, Joe, for the second
who owns the shot is playing pinball

and the second time they're in here.

But yeah, the shop is still in Santa Cruz.

It's just not on the boardwalk
anymore because something

happened to the actual building

Ben: I appreciate that.

Because at this point I feel like that's
the best way I'm ever going to get into

movie is not through any kind of actual
skill, but just by doing a thing that

then maybe justifies a cameo in a thing.

Emily: Yeah.

And y'all are lucky because
you have movie bodies

Ben: like Jordan Belfort
in the Wolf of wall street.

He got take care of me.

Yeah.

When it, cause it was about how he went
to jail, that I could go to jail and NBE.

And then like, I don't know, the
cafeteria worker in the movie about

Jeremy: really, if you do go to Atlanta's
fantasy world in Santa Cruz, they do

have a copy of vampires everywhere
in number one there that you can take

a picture of with, which is, does it

Emily: have the frog brother's
phone number on the back?

Ben: I do not know.

I mean, that's just great.

I mean, not doing so.

I mean, that's just
leaving money on the table.

Yeah.

Jeremy: Trying to force the one guy
in the shop to take your indie comic

book is really relatable to me.

It's

Emily: true.

Yeah.

That's

Ben: true.

There's definitely a part of me that
did not like purely as a comic reader.

I didn't like how gatekeepery they
were as comic book store employees.

Yeah.

Emily: But it was realistic.

Ben: Oh yeah.

Very realistic aside from, you know,
the inherent absurdity of Corey

Feldman, a person who looks both 13
and 30 at the same time in this movie,

Emily: Wasn't he cast the same
way in Greenland gremlins.

Like he was supposed to be like
a much older or no, the main

character was supposed to be younger.

Right.

So it's like an opposite
situation and creme in gremlins.

Okay.

Ben: I'm not saying that's
actually the case in The Lost Boys.

I'm just saying that feels like the
way Corey Feldman plays it at least.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

It feels like the way,
like it's a good character.

This running joke slash theory
is based entirely on vibes.

No, like behind the scenes and files, but

Emily: still like, it's still, like,
it's an interesting synchronicity with

Corey Feldman and how he's like, that
charismatic no matter how old he is,

Ben: I miss his role in
gremlins where he is.

You're seeing literally
impossible creatures exist

and he just does not give up.

Fuck.

Yeah, he's busy.

It's just like the magazine
gremlins, whatever fucking magazine.

Emily: Cool.

This Chinchilla talks
that's I guess not weird.

, the uh, guts bezerk and his girlfriend
steal some comics from these children's.

We're here at runaway.

Yeah.

And these are like, they're
probably supposed to be teens.

I mean, these are like actually
20, at least 20 year old people.

And, the frogs are supposed to be like

Ben: 14 that we do at least see
the woman, like reading the comics

and being hugely invested in them.

She's like loving this comic.

Like she's having a,

Emily: that's every date I like
I had in high school, which is

like, Hey, you want to make out?

And I'm like, no, I'm reading
John into homicidal maniac.

It's funny.

Ben: Literally pushing away
being like, I am, I don't know,

sex, I'm reading comic books.

Emily: So relatable.

Unfortunately her boyfriend is racist.

I don't feel as bad about her dying.

But

Ben: I mean, it is, it does reflect poorly
on her that she chooses to data racist.

Yeah.

Emily: Beauty has her way by mommy
callous place as star Laddie, who

was the kid stress like adamant
except without the makeup it's too

bad because makeup is fucking fly.

And

Jeremy: well, I was confused by a ladder
because the clothing he's wearing,

it looks like he could have been a,
I don't know, a vampire since the

civil war, but apparently he's just
halfway to being turned to vampire.

We'll find out later on.

Emily: Maybe he was halfway up here since

Ben: question mark

Jeremy: uprooted to be a companion to
star who I guess is a relatively new

acquisition this new hire and the vampire,

Ben: This is all sounding real dodgy
from a team building exercise standpoint.

Yeah.

Emily: But, and apparently Laddy
is so recently missing that his

face is still on the milk curtains.

So there's that.

The hair, boys rev their
motorcycles suggestively at Michael.

Ben: And then the motorcycle.

Yeah.

Emily: Kiefer Sutherland

Ben: beat me.

You just have to keep up.

Yeah, fucking

Emily: yeah.

There that, what you said

Ben: that does Michael
have his hearing yet?

Not yet.

I think it's funny.

This is super duper straight earring.

Yeah.

Well,

Emily: Sam has, Sam is pierced already.

Sam has that earring

Ben: yet?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Sam's going to be one of those people
where he's like, when did I come out?

I mean, I was never really in and
that's going to be his living room.

Yes.

Jeremy: I've been singing both parts
of songs in my bathtub, my whole life.

Ben: And he is having the time
of his life in that bathtub.

God wants it.

It has more

Emily: confidence.

I feel like he has so much more
self-confidence than Michael does

Ben: Michael.

Yeah.

Kind of an inspiration in terms of just
living authentically and confidently.

Emily: Exactly.

Which is why I think it's great that
he's like the most flamboyant one,

I mean, if this movie came out now
and it was, some of the other like

sexy lamp situations were addressed.

And Sam was just like, they never
said that he was gay, but like

Sam just like kisses Allen frog or
something at the end on the cheek

being like, love, you love you too.

And then it would be perfect.

Perfect.

Yeah.

Like it would, it is,

Jeremy: I want there to be a third
frog brother named PO I'm just,

Emmett: there needs to be a third one.

It's weird that they're too.

I always forget that
there are only two it's

Ben: unnatural Edgar and Allen.

Emily: It just pink PO
became a damn player.

They killed him

Ben: normally in this kind
of role, it'd be like equal.

And they're like, the roles
are kind of equal in terms of

what they do storytelling wise.

But in terms of screen presence,
it's so wildly not equal.

Yeah.

Like this is the kind of thing where
it's like, if you got like two character

actors who were similar, like nowadays,
this would be like, if, and if they

were adults, it'd be like, oh, we're
going to get like, Nick Kroll and John

Malaney to be the frog rather, you
know, do like people that are known does

being like a duo, a comedy or having
like certain chemistry with each other.

And in this one, it's like, man, you got.

You just fucking knocked it
out of the park on the first

on, like with Corey Feldman.

Again, I feel bad for this other frog
brother, but he just can't keep up.

Yeah.

Emily: Maybe post their sister and then
she just went off to be a musician.

Jeremy: She's an accountant.

Ben: Well she hunts werewolves.

Emily: Right.

And then there's a musician.

I can't remember the name of her hit song
that was on all the time in the nineties.

And I can't, is that

Jeremy: it?

Yeah, I think,

Emily: What was it angry?

Was it angry,

Jeremy: Johnny,

Ben: but yeah.

So fucking Kiefer Sutherland, suggestively
leads him on a sexy motorcycle chase.

Oh, well that's

Emily: later because first they attack
that specific and the girlfriend,

then we have the checkoffs Cadillac.

And Sam returns to the, because grandpa
won't drive him to town and that

fucking awesome ass Cadillac, or I
don't know if it's an actual Cadillac.

I don't know cars.

I know I live in California,
but I just see them in.

Emmett: It was like a shell

Ben: it's blood.

It's the blue one.

I will say my grandpa had like the
fancy, super old car that was like,

no one bought me is allowed to drive.

My folks, grandpa, him.

And I appreciated that growing up.

He let me drive him down
in that car with him.

And it did not have seat belts.

Emily: Oh no.

My folks had my grandparents' car, which
was a baby blue Cadillac with bench seats.

And I remember my folks drove it to the
drive in to see who framed Roger rabbit

and three men and a baby double feature.

That's my story.

Ben: Okay.

My grandpa's car was a Volkswagen, but
he put a Cadillac hood ornaments on it.

Good for him.

That's

Emily: amazing.

Emmett: Yeah.

Why not?

Emily: This is same like

Ben: Rampa energy.

We got to aspire

Emily: to.

Yes.

Okay.

So, the frog brothers revealed to Sam
that they are not simply mild-mannered

NRA employees of their parents at
the comic book shop, but they're also

super heroes fighting for truth justice

Emmett: in the American.

That was a really good that,
that was a good impression.

Thank you.

Emily: It says

Ben: this to lone tough guy,
voice coming out of what is fabric

visibly of like a 14 year old.

I feel like in terms of vampire rules
in this movie, because we're getting

up to the the scene with David and my
next scene of David and Michael it's way

better to be a vampire and a universe
where vampires can still eat human food.

Oh my God.

Yes.

That seems like one of the
biggest downsides is like,

oh, you'll live forever.

It's like, but I can't eat anything.

It's like, no, just blood,
like no food whatsoever.

I'm like, oh no sun and no food.

Oh, those are tough.

I think I can handle sign if
I could still like, eat and

drink, whatever the fuck I want.

Emily: I remember in high school, a
friend of mine asked me, like, would

you rather give ups Chinese food or sex?

And I didn't have, I didn't
have sex in high school.

And even now I'm like, this
is a, no-brainer like, I

can't live without Chinese.

Ben: So especially if you can still
eat garlic, man, I've don't do nothing.

Oh baby.

Just bite me.

I'm good.

I'm good to go.

Let's do this.

Yeah.

Emily: Maybe that's like
a, like a Dracula thing.

Like he can every once a generation
or something, he can go out in the

day and eat garlic or whatever.

Ben: Man, I wouldn't let,
that would be so cute.

It's just like, Dracula's day off.

Or you can just like eat spaghetti
and go out and like to the beach.

Emily: Yeah.

Yeah.

I think it was in like the movie
or it was in the book and Dracula.

He was like sometimes at a vampire,
very special time of vampires life.

When you can go out for one
day and like pick up chicks.

Ben: Let's talk about Michael's earrings
and how carnival earrings are a rip off.

Why not get it from a sketchy vampire

Emily: girl?

Yeah, she picks up the first thing
she says to him is other than

that's a rip off is like not, Hey,
how you doing me penetrate you?

Yeah.

Like I actually kind of bad-ass but like

Jeremy: pay a strange man to do
it when I can do it for free.

Yeah.

Emily: I can't dance, but I can Pierce.

Emmett: She's really good at

Ben: staying still.

So I mean, honestly that sounded
like the questions, whatever you

want, however you want to penetrate.

Yeah.

Let's do it.

Whatever ears.

Yeah, sure.

Emily: I've turned
around on her character.

I think, her offer to penetrate
Michael is like her opening.

It's kind of a fucking baller

Ben: move.

Emmett: Actually.

I really like her character actually.

Ben: Is it about

Jeremy: stairs?

Scary.

Cause I, I feel like
there's not much there

Emily: please defend her because
I want to open my horizons.

Ben: There's just so curly and I liked
that his curly hair, a character trait.

Emmett: I don't know.

I can't really explain it.

I just like her.

I like her.

Ben: No, I'm with you.

I'm with you.

I am on team star.

She

Emmett: gives me like
trans lesbian energy.

And I just love that.

Like she's like the one girl that
hangs out with all of these guys.

That's

Ben: fucking protective.

She is a Laddie.

Emmett: Yeah.

Yeah.

I do wish quiet, but she doesn't do much,
but she's not like an empty character.

She's got a lot going
on in her head, I think.

Emily: Okay.

Jeremy: At least one punch in this
battle at the end of the movie.

So a bunch of teenage boys
running around fighting for her.

And she's half vampire

Ben: every year.

I mean, I do appreciate the
scene where Michael comes in.

He's just like, I just want answers.

And she's like, what if
no answers, but Zach's

Emily: yeah.

honestly, if you really think about
it, it comes back around to her.

Just manipulating him and kind of a
girl boss way where she's like, oh,

I tried to warn you by telling you.

You can't have the blood
because , are we creating

Jeremy: like an alternate theory here that
like star just made all of this happen so

that she could get out of being a vampire?

Cause she didn't really want to,
she didn't really want to do this.

She can't kill David herself.

So she just gets Michael to do it.

Ben: I think one bit of max downside
in this movie's set up is that because

it holds on to max being a twist
reveal, I think there's a certain

amount of world building and backstory
that then this movie can't deliver

on in order to preserve that twist.

If this was like a mini series
where we're going to have an entire

episode dedicated to just stars,
backstory, this movie has got enough.

God, this movie has a lot going on, but.

Jeremy: Star, they make clear like
in the climax thinks that David

is the prime vampire or whatever.

And they're able to pull this off by
them having Max's blood in a bottle that

they're just drinking from the bottle
instead of from, somebody directly.

Emily: Yeah.

That's a good point.

Cause we all assume that it is
David's blood, but it's definitely

like David is the pusher.

Cause

Ben: David Maxime source dig into
that because he says even in the

file battle, like my blood is
flowing through you, which wow.

What hell of a like fight line
or just be, go to your post

and be like, I'm inside you

going on between David and Michael.

Jeremy: Yeah.

He's the Rufio of these lost boys.

He's not the real stuff.

The real Peter pan.

Emily: Yeah, he is probably shit.

Jeremy: He can fight,
but he can't Crow, so,

Emily: He can fly.

Wow.

Bang rang.

Jeremy: Listen that last fight scene.

There's a direct Peter
pan reference in it.

So

Emily: Yes.

Okay.

So this is where David comes to claim
star and then challenges Michael

to a motorcycle driving event.

Where he's like, just keep up.

Michael's like, I can't
keep up with your bike.

Like he's already like now.

Yeah.

Your hair is too good.

Your

Ben: outfits just

Jeremy: to keep up.

Emily: I just like how these guys who
are a hair band and like super cherubim

faced Kiefer Sutherland are like the
most intimidating dudes, but like.

Emmett: It's a bunch of twinks.

I

Jeremy: love Alex Winter trying to
look mean like the rest of these guys,

everybody else is like doing this.

It's just giving people the
looks and just serving attitude.

And Alex would just like,
yeah, I'm mean too hard.

So they raced through the fog and
Michael gets mad because David almost

makes him motorcycle off a cliff.

So he gets up and punches him.

And David just laughs at him.

This is the worst response
to punching somebody.

Yeah.

But

Emily: he's a vampire.

So he's like, cool.

There's this, the montage is dope.

Just got Lou Lou grams um, say hello.

Which is something that I have
screamed in my car many times.

Ben: Will you go, Michael?

Emily: Yeah.

How far are you willing to go?

Let me show you my cool vampire hideout.

It's almost as cool as
your grandpa's house.

And we almost have as much weed.

Jeremy: Nobody has as
much meat as his grandpa

.
Emily: Dude it's like propagating,

Ben: right?

Oh, I love that.

They explicitly show that
grandpa's growing weed.

Emmett: Yeah.

That was a fun detail.

Emily: So real quick here.

This is where I swear
that I was not on edibles.

That was the other week when I

Ben: was having make that

Emily: promise, but that's fine, but
this is just to relate what I was

thinking about when I wrote this down.

So there star and there's date.

David is possessive of star.

So therefore she is star of David.

What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

Emmett: I never put those two together,

Ben: I'm going to make a rule, a
guiding light play and say, this

does count as Jewish representation.

Emily: Yeah.

Cause that's what I wrote.

I was like, okay, so this is what I wrote.

Okay.

So the fact that star is presumably
of David is the closest movie gets to

barely suggesting Jewish representation.

And I don't know if I
really want to say it.

Ben: I could see guy being like,
Joel Schumacher, the writers being

like, I'm going to be cute and
have a Jewish Easter egg joke.

Emily: Yeah.

And then and now I'm like, if star
was David's and now is my goals or

Ben: there should be more
Jewish, Easter eggs and movies.

It should be more,

Emily: there should be more

Ben: Jewish.

Oh wait.

I just realized, I just realized
what a fucking contradiction that is.

I ain't even fucking put that together.

Emily: Like, like Ben said,
they can't promise that

they're not on Elvis or elbows.

Yeah.

That's what we call it now.

So if star was David's and is now
Michael's or if Michael is fighting

David for star, is this an allegory
for groups struggling over iconography?

That's all you really
need to say about that.

The thing

Ben: that you just said,
graphy Michael's earring.

Emily: It's the star.

Jeremy.

I want you to arrive.

Jeremy: You broke down
Easter egg is right.

Ben: Yeah.

Pretty good.

Actually.

That's yeah, that's pretty accurate.

Yeah, there's just the one, but yeah,
I always thought sitcoms are just

leaving an easy story off the table.

Not doing Passover.

Say like Passover specials with a series
of increasingly elaborate and complicated

Passover like Offy Komen searches.

That'd be like the
Halloween heist in Brooklyn.

Nine, nine Jewish hair.

Yeah.

The Passover heist,
Hollywood hire me for things.

As soon as I make a writing sample,
I should probably do that first.

We've got so much more busy.

We do this podcast every week.

Emily: Yeah.

We won't even TM this right now.

Ben: I mean, yeah, I'm not sure.

Yeah.

I don't think we can copy.

I don't think we can copyright my
peoples 5,000 year old traditions.

Emily: If you

Emmett: spell it in a funky way.

Oh

Ben: yeah.

Ooh.

That we could trademark.

Emily: We have a movie where
there's one character names,

Ben: And it's like our fee eco man, let
me capitalize the F don't like, ah we

trademark off Coleman where the a is
lower case, but the F is upper case.

Think that would fly.

There you go.

Look.

I'm pretty sure it's always on us.

Got the trademark go backwards.

Our, so I think this could work.

Emily: So now we have the scene, the
cool hideout, where they do the maggots

and rice and noodles and worms thing.

If you haven't seen this, Michael,

Ben: I asked you, is this,
what is this nagging?

Is this what nagging is?

Emily: I think this is serious.

Like, I think there's a lot of.

Yeah.

They're like hazing each other,
but I'm pretty sure that the thing

that star is like it's blood.

That feels like a dare.

Jeremy: It wasn't worms.

It wasn't maggots.

It's not blood.

Okay.

I feel like at that point he was
just like, oh, this is this is

definitely not blood, right guys.

Ben: Yeah.

Plus you're like, at that age, it'd
be like, what you think I won't

drink blood I'll fucking drink.

Well, I'd give you that bull.

Yeah, absolutely.

Right.

If star was like, Hey, drink that blood.

And I like you more.

I'll be like, fucking,
you gave me that blood.

Like I know poison bud here.

So currently

Emily: She does rock those little tops.

Like her outfit.

So they do the thing, Michael drinks,
the blood, and then bill S Preston

Esquire roles like sends Kiefer
Sutherland on a ride in a parolee

chair having this central month.

They're like so stupid,

Ben: so great.

And then they

Jeremy: go to the train bridge.

Emily: Yeah, they do
the train bridge today.

Emmett: That seems so much.

Ben: Oh my God.

Jeremy: If you guys haven't seen the
like Lego star wars Halloween special

from two years ago, they do this with
Kylo in the Knights of Ren where like,

he's there, Hey, they're forced hanging
upside down from this this bridge and

it's the funniest shit I've ever seen.

Ben: Amazing.

And I'm amazed at that's how
far we have to go to get world

building for the Knights of Ren.

Do they to go down to star
wars, tangent, let's keep

Emily: this transferred.

The train bridge scene is iconic.

Just watching the movie.

We're not going to wait.

They scream Michael, and
there's a train and there's a

bridge and they fall off of it.

And

Ben: I do appreciate how, if
you just yell, Michael's name

enough, he will do anything.

You want him to.

Peer pressure is so effective on
Michael at this stage of the movie.

Emily: Well, there's a very
important factor here in that

factor is key for Sutherland.

That's true.

It's all about context.

Like if ever anybody was like, oh Emily.

But if Keith Kiefer Sutherland
from The Lost Boys is like, Hey,

you want to jump off his bridge?

I'd be like, when.

Jeremy: So Bridget wakes up in his

Emily: bed.

Yeah.

Not a terrible morning after
for vampire transition.

Like it, you know, mostly vampire hanger.

Hangovers are pretty rough.

This one's not so bad.

Ben: Oh, Michael.

Not being able to control his vampirism
trying to attack Sam in the bathtub,

which Sam is just having the time of
his life enjoying and uh, the new uh,

the world's best dog fucking saves him.

And then we get my favorite
threat in the movie where Sanford

Institute, title, and tell their
mother that Michael is a fan PI I,

Emily: so in character, so good.

Jeremy: It might have been this vampire
because he's thinking about killing his

brother and the dog jumps in and defend
him and Michael doesn't kill the dog.

Emily: Yeah.

No new survives, all dogs, survivors.

I love

Ben: the implication in the scene that
like afterwards, like when he's outside

and like try and yelling and begging for
Santillana back in like the threat of that

scene is that if he is not letting he is
going to float all the way to outer space.

Emily: Yeah.

Like he just gravity doesn't work on him

Ben: anymore.

That is the danger.

The danger is if this does not
work, he will just float for ever

on the other end of the line when
Sam's talking to the mother and then

he tries to me like, everything's fine.

I'm not a vampire, like amazing.

Emily: That Piet Mondrian.

Bathrobe is very important.

Yeah.

I was, it looks like

Emmett: a Montreal bathrobe that kids

Emily: got taste.

Yeah.

And also singing and gotten a home
in the bathtub by Clarence frogman.

Henry.

I don't know if there is a
coincidence between Clarence

frogman, Henry and the fact that
there is a frog family in this film.

Okay.

So Sam seeks advice from the frogs.

They're like murder your
brother and he's like, no.

And then mom comes home because she
hears about it and it's fucking crazy.

And Sam

Ben: tries to play it off as, oh, I
read a Harvard comic book and I got

freaked out I'm with Lucy on this one.

If I was out on a date and then
my kid called me up yelling

like vampire, I'm going to die.

I'm going to die right now.

And then I rushed home and there
was like, I read a scary book.

I'd be a little pissed too.

Emily: Yeah.

But Sam does get over his Vampira phobia
of his brother, like at first he's like,

you're, oh my God, you're a monster.

And then he's like, okay,
you're still my brother.

Jeremy: Emotional breakdown
because he's floating.

Sam's like, oh, all right.

He's still losing

Emily: Buffy the vampire Slayer, the

Ben: movie.

Yeah.

So after that he goes, Michael
decides he needs answers.

So he goes back to find star
and the under the ground hotel.

And she's like, no, but

Emily: banging.

Yeah.

We're going to have sex
and become an airplane.

And then

Ben: we see clouds and I'm pretty
sure the clouds represent sex.

Emily: No, they become an airplane
as part of the vampire transition.

Emmett: That's where airplanes

Ben: come from.

Yeah.

Oh, I just think anytime an airplane,
isn't a movie to assume that the

airplane is inherently sexual well, yeah.

Emmett: Yeah.

They're very

Ben: pointy.

They it's either going up or
it's going down either way.

I mean something, yeah.

It's

Jeremy: got a plane is all about,

Emily: Also we have this little
interlude with max getting like bullied,

I guess, by the loss, the hair boys.

They fly a kite

Ben: and that contributes
nothing to this story,

Emily: but it's just makes the herring,

Jeremy: up to that point.

Everybody who's harassed them has been
smoothed down on and carried away.

And he's the one person
that's like, no, not here.

Get out of my store that
it hasn't been murdered.

So yeah.

Emily: Sam is, is a desperate
it goes back to the frogs.

They talk about the vampire rules,
they can't kill the brother,

even though they're very intent
on Sam killing his brother.

They

Ben: don't talk, they don't say anything.

They gutter early growl things,

Emmett: kill your brother, make you

Ben: feel better.

Weapons check.

Emily: They decided that instead
of killing Michael, they got to

kill the head vampire, whoever
turned Michael into a vampire.

Cause if Michael's a vampire
is only half for sure.

And that makes it okay.

And Sam describes the setup
for our world about the dogs.

And then postulates.

Ben: Okay.

No, I love this scene with the dog
because there's those growls and

snarls and barks of this dog are so
hilariously badly dumped in it is

like English Godzilla level dubbing
of just like this dog's mouth is

closed and we're hearing both barking.

Like multiple dog's worth of sounds are
coming out of this one dog, regardless

of what's happening with its mouth.

It's wonderful.

Emily: This dog is, is telepathic.

It's a hound of hell.

It has magical barking powers.

Listen, they described it.

The vampires have hounds of hell, which
also manifest as beautiful puppers.

Like honestly, I would trust the Newark
more than I trust that dog to protect

me like that dog is like, ah, R and the
nuke is like, I'm going to set several

traps and I'm going to steal your

Ben: identity.

I feel like with that dog, they ran to the
problem they had with the dog and don't

breathe, or they're like, we need this
dog to be really scary, but we can only do

close ups of the dogs that are good boys.

Emily: Yeah.

You know what?

Hey, movies, I think you know this
by now, but all dogs are good boys.

I'm sorry.

If you have a dog on the
screen, I don't care about Cujo.

They're all good boys,
monster dogs, even monster.

Like I play, like I don't actually
play, I watch people play Elden

ring and I'm like, oh, well, yeah.

Yeah.

And even when they're zombies, I'm like

idea.

Ben: I would love to play Elden ring.

I don't know when I will ever
exist in a place where I can

put a hundred wares into a game.

Emily: Sam thinks max is the head vampire,
which leads to the romantic comedy bit

of this dinner date, where they set
up all of these like vampire tests.

And this is some fucking high level.

Disney, like

Emmett: it's like parents
or parent trap so goofy.

Ben: Like when they did pass the
Parmesan, I thought I was like, oh, okay.

That's clever.

Like you shredded the garlic
and you put it in the Parmesan.

I didn't expect it to just
be a bowl of straight garlic.

Emily: I mean, I'm into it, but yeah.

I mean, I guess that would burn
a little bit, just a little

Ben: yeah, like if your test is, let's
just give them a spoonful of raw garlic

and see if they have any reaction to it.

Emily: I mean, they're, I got bad news

Ben: for you.

You're going to be staking a lot
of innocent people through the

Emily: heart.

I mean, that's the thing about Edgar and
Allen is like, I really don't trust them.

The movie also paints them
as incredibly incapable.

Ben: Oh yeah, no, they don't actually
know the only vampire they actually

killing this movie is a sleep.

Otherwise the dog is a better
vampire hunter than them.

Emily: Absolutely.

They're dumb.

And the movie knows that they're
dumb and they like fuck up.

Sam, stay by convincing him
to fuck up his mom's date.

Honestly.

And Sam.

Is, well, Sam is now like, I know
vampires exist cause my brother is

one, so I really don't know what the
fuck and he's guys are basically like

charlatans taking advantage of him.

Jeremy: And also don't forget, we
have max come to the door and meet

Michael at the door and he says,
well, you're the man of the house.

I won't come in until you invite me.

Yes.

Ben: I love that.

That's so clever cover vampire lore.

Emily: And Jason, Patric has
kind of a monotone in this

movie when he's like doing this.

Yeah.

I mean, like he has great
chemistry with Corey, but when

he's funny, he's really great.

Like when he, the dad comes or got the
dad to be dad, max comes to the door

and he's like, hello son, Cheerio.

You know, but fifties
dad not like British dad.

And I don't know

Ben: it's one or the other.

They did not have dads in 1950s Britain.

Emily: No, they did that.

They were saying Cheerios and rice
Krispies, but they call them chips.

They're

Ben: Fuck.

Are we talking about with
prettiest rice Krispies?

Is that

Emily: what But the way that Michael
kind of matches his like Demeter, he's

like, yeah, I'm hi, I'm also here.

What the fuck is happening right now?

Michael sneaks off, I think also
we have to appreciate how Lucy just

rolls with Sam and fighting the frog
brothers over and she's like, oh,

Jeremy: food, whatever

Emily: Michael's gone.

And

Ben: grandpa's essentially one character.

Emily: If I was that mom and my son
brought over those kids, I'd be like,

Ben: you know, she has, I feel
like she should have been excited.

And she should've seen like, oh,
here's the all cammo kids who

are just like casually walking
around with what inspires.

Emily: But max deals with this like
champ, honestly, like I know he's

trying to be, manipulative and whatever,

Ben: If he wasn't a vampire
king, what a catch max would be.

Oh

Emmett: yeah.

He's a dreamboat too.

I got like all the good
gay archetypes in here.

That's great.

Emily: Except Max's downfall is
that he was too heteronormative.

He wasn't happy with his boys.

He needed a mom.

He couldn't just be a single dad.

It was like

Emmett: a kinky thing for him.

Emily: Well, while they're having that
dinner date, Michael's having a dinner

date with David and they go attack the
punks and have the final initiation

where Michael has to go and speed.

And it is finally they show
their adorable vampire faces.

This scene is so cool.

It is like the most gory
scene in the whole movie.

And it is barely, it's just enough.

Ben: And most importantly, walk this way.

It's playing the whole time.

They're killing.

Yes.

Emily: Rate

Ben: is so good.

Yeah.

And it's it's teenage vampire
murder said to walk this way, like

it's darts with walk this way.

And then I thought like, oh, they're
going to fade out, walk this way.

Once the murder starts and then no killing
fast and fucking Aerosmith and run DMC

while just like deaf, it's wonderful.

So much

Emily: fun.

'cause like most of this movie, the
vampire attacks have been the camera

flying at somebody and then them
being like whisked off or whatever,

or like screaming or looking scared.

And then in this case, we
finally see what they're doing.

We finally see like the carnage
which is one like one guy David

bites, the shit out of his skull.

Like basically

Ben: yeah, I was at again, like
for as much as Michael's reaction

is like, ah, this is horrifying.

I don't want this.

The movie, honestly, doesn't treat it
as oh, look at this terrible thing.

You should be disgusted and shying
away from It's gory it's over the top.

It's Aerosmith and run DMC.

The movie is reveling in the scene
and inviting you to revel in it too.

It's a,

Emmett: it's an incredible scene.

And even just like the color
treatment and the cinematography,

and it is just mind blowing.

Ben: You're so right.

Emily: And I also think that they gave
the vampires, the close fangs you know,

usually you think with vampires, they'd
have canines, like the canines out and

this movie, they make the decision to
make the second set of incisors the fangs.

And I think that's because it's easier
to see the fangs especially with

Kiefer Sutherland's little baby face.

Ben: The Emerson brothers, the team
up with the frog brothers to take the

fight to the vampires at their cave.

We got the incredible bit of Corey
Feldman, just yelling weapons check,

and then they pat each other down,
making sure they have spikes on each on.

And

Emily: the bear on the, outside, on
the street we are of their outfits.

Ben: They do, they're covered
head to toe in what, in steaks.

And then they go and they find Laddie
and a star who Michael goes and helps

put it in the car while the frog
brothers and Sam go deeper in not sure

about that division of labor, but okay.

Jeremy: This is incredible.

Vampire powers do carry
his girlfriend to the car.

Emily: Well, there is actually a
conversation between Michael and Sam

where Michael's like, I they're killers.

Don't go in there and Sam's like
silver, the frog brothers, like,

Ben: yeah, right.

He's like, wait a bed on the right
hole on the wrong horse there.

But we get, what's kind of my favorite
line in the movie, not the best

line in the movie, but my favorite.

Where Corey Feldman says flies
and the near dead go together,

like dot, dot, dot bullets and
guns, which is a terrible line.

Lost Boys: we're on the right
trail flies in your day.

Go together like bullets and guns.

Come on.

Ben: And it's delivered
like, it's a terrible line.

Like he just started speaking and didn't
know how to frame what he was saying.

Halfway through the sentence, which
is one hell of a mood I've been there.

Emily: So vampires shoot
flies is what he's saying.

Emmett: You load vampires
up with flies, right?

Okay.

You stuffed them just to the gills.

Emily: All, they just
get flies all over there.

Well, the vampires do fly,

Emmett: so maybe that's how they fly.

As they're full of

Emily: flying insects.

You got it.

Got it.

And one,

Ben: This is also where we get
the it's one giant coffin line.

So honestly, felony just
in fucking fine form

Emily: filming.

Does surf, he fucking hangs 10 through
this whole climax and denouement.

Like he just rocks and rolls it.

Yeah.

Ben: So yeah, they go up the
line and they're like, let's

start with the tiniest one.

Maybe he's the head

Jeremy: ramp built the Alex Winter
here is like, for some reason there's

just a, they just, they could just step
up and stab him, even though they're

all hanging upside down from the.

Emily: Yeah.

They managed to climb
up and stab Alex Winter.

And so it's, it's the first moment

Ben: highly

Emily: made of glitter.

Yes.

Yeah.

And it's very sad, higher

Ben: blood glitter

Emily: yeah, the frog brothers
are the real monsters.

Ben: Well, those are the real monsters
they go from like, well, this plan isn't

going exactly the way we thought it would.

Let's murder a child.

Yes.

Emily: I feel ways about

Ben: that.

Yeah, we get that amazing, like single
tier that David sheds, presumably

over Alex Winter's death, I guess.

Emily: Yes.

Ben: So then they started getting
ready for, because they know once

it's night, the vampires will attack.

We seen of them just busting into the
church in the middle of a baptism to

just fill their canteens with holy
water, which is just this wonderful

moment of like little surreal commons.

Yeah grandpa.

Oh, widow called.

She wants to bang ya at
like seven sharp get bang.

And so that's how they get
grandma out of the house.

Who does not question it once.

He's like, yep.

I'm going to get my grandpa on

Jeremy: tonight.

Oh boy.

Emily: Yeah.

He's fucking rare to go.

And then Sam's Lucy Sam
tries to talk to Lucy.

Lucy is like, fuck off.

Like this is it like for real?

I just want to have a date.

Jeremy: And

Emily: yeah.

I'm kinda with her on that point
from where she's standing, like,

she acts very reasonably, I think.

But Sam then is like, okay,
it's all a, it's all down to us.

She's having a date with max
at his house full of like shit

he got from sharper image um,

Jeremy: image,

Emily: calendar.

Yes.

Oh my God.

Yeah.

Jeremy: They're all there prepping
to fight vampires and for some

reason they leave to nook outside.

Yeah.

Michael's like, oh shit, I
got to go get in the nook.

And it takes the longest time on tying
a dog that anybody has ever taken his

Ben: all day.

They had literally hours to just
untied the dog and bring him inside.

They

Emily: spent the day on that montage,
like filling fucking squirt guns up

with garlic and whole holy garlic water.

Just to be sure,

Ben: as it turns out it comes
in handy because there's

not only one of them works.

Yes.

And surprisingly, it's the one that
confirms that Jesus Christ is real.

Emily: Is it?

I think the garlic helps.

I mean, the thing is that The Lost Boys
and star, and I dunno flattie if this

works for lady, but they don't need
an invitation only fucking, I mean,

maybe it just you're more powerful
when you have the invitation, like none

of the shit works on you if you have,

Ben: well, it seems to me that in
this world, it's not like you have

no power, so it's not like they
lose their vamp higher powers.

But I guess like normal
weakness, I don't know.

It seems like they use that invitation
to justify why the garlic and

the holy water did nothing in the
earlier scene where they're like, we

need to throw people off the trail
because we put too many clues in.

So when we need to do something,
so we need to kind of change

or add or make up them, hire a
lawyer in order to achieve that.

Mr.

Rag.

Vampires.

Aren't real.

You can pick up whatever the
fuck kind of rules you want.

Jeremy: Twisted sister here,
say that garlic doesn't work.

This is like, garlic
doesn't work the fuck, but

Ben: holy water, that fucking works.

Jeremy: And he's like,
oh, I don't like that.

And then the fucking dog tackles
him into it and then look, but

put that dude in Somali waters

Ben: emailed so hard.

Well

Jeremy: squirts out of
all the drains and all of

Ben: the plumbing.

How does the plumbing work?

I guess it can handle liquified person.

Well,

plumbing, vampire sprayed.

Emily: But that's important because
a very important, a bit of bad

power lore is established here.

When a vampire buys it.

It's not a pretty sight.

No two bloodsuckers go out the
same way, some yell and scream,

some go quietly, some exclude
some implode, but all we tried to

Emmett: take you with them.

Ben: Yeah.

Most of them just melt or again,
spark until their Linda's fly off.

And then they explode.

Yeah.

Jeremy: That's our last
disposable vampire.

Uh,

Ben: Sam.

Okay.

Disposable vampire.

Now that feels like the
name of a nineties band.

Emily: That was their band name, actually

Jeremy: The same puts
an arrow through him.

And he then goes crashing into the
stereo and started sparking and explode.

And it same good as death by stereo.

Emily: Yeah.

Jeremy: Yeah.

It sounds like the most eighties line.

And now it's just time for uh,
it's this time for David to hang

around and call Michael some more.

Emily: Yeah.

And then they have a very
sexy Rick vampire fight bird.

There's a lot of tension

Jeremy: and they do the full, like
shadow on the wall, Peter pan reference

thing while he's fighting him here.

And there's a lot of like flying
towards each other and grappling

and then throwing each other around.

Emily: And while you're
fighting very good.

This seem like all of the direction and
this whole sequence is really fantastic

from like the cookie, like crazy vampire
death shit to the intense vampire fight.

Like the lighting.

Yeah.

The part where Sam is trying to
locate the vampire with the top

of the it's, like the spotlight
or the top of the lampshade thing.

So good.

And the fight is tragically
ended on couple of Impala

antlers and the taxidermy lab.

David is felled and dies slowly.

I guess this would be that
going quietly, but the chorus

plays and it is we talked about

Jeremy: that.

Yeah.

And the light feeds over him.

Yeah, the David and also, I guess,
everybody else forgets that uh,

antlers aren't made of wood.

Emily: I think the penetration
is all you really need.

You just need to get the heart.

Ben: That's the title of
the episode right there.

And penetration is all you need.

Jeremy: Penetration is
all you really need.

Ben: Penetration, that's
gotta be a musical number in

some Broadway show, right?

Emily: Maybe

Ben: Chicago.

Emily: So max, they mom and max come home
and max is like, I am the vampire block,

except it's not Russian or whatever.

And uh, he does a whole thing about his
mom looking for a mom for his kids and.

Lucy, some fucking bomb acting here
is like it's got to save my kids and

is about to accept the vampires kiss.

And then grandpa comes to save the
day with a fanfare of Luca Russia

Lost Boys: don't fight
Lucy so much better.

If you don't fight.

Mom mom.

Ben: Plows

Jeremy: through the wall.

A large piece of wood goes right
through max and he literally

explodes and fire in the fireplace.

Then we have my favorite part where
everybody is watching grandpa,

not knowing what the fuck he is
caught on to about any of this.

As he stumbles to the fridge
gets his root beer and then says

Lost Boys: one thing about
living in Santa Carla.

I never could stomach
well, a dam vampires.

Jeremy: Everybody just looks at him
as the light from the refrigerator

fades and as does the movie.

Ben: Well, perfect note for that
grandpa to have known about vampires

this whole ass time and just not
fucking bothered to have told anyone,

Jeremy: he doesn't go to
town like the vampires.

Emmett: One of my favorite story
trips is that like the cookie

old man was right the whole time.

Ben: Yeah.

Oh, it's such a good trope.

Jeremy: Yes.

Yeah.

I do want to say we discussed David.

David does in fact get impaled on the
antlers, but he doesn't send a great or

explode or blow up like anybody else does.

And he's not supposed to really be
dead because there is supposed to be

a sequel called the lost girls uh,
which was scripted, but never made.

And apparently later came out as some
of the steps from it came out in the

wild storm comic mini series, the
last boys, Colin reign of the frogs

um, which bridges the 20 year gap.

Emmett: My brother's got a
spin off before all of girls.

Ben: And

Jeremy: it's like, but went on to
create Shane who was the head vampire

who's in the lost voice, direct
to video SQL lost boys, the tribe

Ben: you going for biblical stuff,
there should just be like lost boys.

The second plague, which was frogs

Emily: and then have a lie, like half
of lost boys Genesis where it's like,

so max, be, get David who be, get star

Ben: the third, like the centuries
long ancient vampire hunting bloodline

that the frogs are actually come from.

Instead of the more likely that these just
fucking heads just watching nothing, but

like Vietnam movies and TV shows, and then
also just got hooked on vampire comics and

just made that their entire identities.

Yeah.

Emily: Well, I think that they're
definitely amateurish, but I think like

the family Sam's family probably have
some like van Helsing and there like them

there's distant relatives of a cruise.

So is this movie Fentimans
feminist feminist?

Emmett: Definitely not.

Emily: It's not super violently

Jeremy: and seen where just the one
scene where he's, where he fucking

David, this is like star star
and she just fucking hops off my

Michael's motorcycle and hops on his.

This is just like, oh,
this isn't a feminist.

Emily: So a racial social justice.

There's two,

Ben: is there a part of that?

Yeah.

Exclusively in montage
and montage, singular,

Emily: all the people of color are part
of a montage that says people are strange.

So they're up there with like,
look at these weirdos with

Mohawks and also brown people.

Ben: Whoa.

Emily: This movie's very white though.

Emmett: Yeah.

It's this specific
flavor of homosexuality.

That's very focused on like young, white,
skinny men in a way that's kind of toes.

The line of being okay.

Inappropriate.

Because I think that they sexualize
these characters who are like teenagers.

Right?

Ben: My goal is

Emily: not to be a minor.

They have a good point.

It's hard

Ben: to know.

They do mention things are going
to be different when school starts.

Like,

I want to say, I think I looked it up.

I think the actor was like 21 when this
movie was so like, not Zillow, like,

I think it's also just the eighties.

Young people just looked older
and I don't can't tell the makeup.

Yeah.

Is it the makeup?

I don't know.

Is it the water?

Was it the cigarettes?

Like at a certain point, aging just
fucking went totally out of whack.

Emily: Yeah.

I mean, they didn't take the makeup on
quite as much as they did in the covenant.

And it's kind of weird watching this
movie, like right on the tails of the

covenant, which is a bad movie, which
is trying to do some of the similar

things that The Lost Boys is trying
to do, which is like, look at these

cute guys, but it's not as like, it's
not, I don't know if it's a post to be

Ben: gay.

Well, this movie is trying to
make a 21 year old to be 18 in the

eighties Viking, the covenant was
trying to make 28 year old haler

kid should be like 20, like be 17.

Emily: Yeah, I think I, but when you
have actors that look older than teens

I'm much prefer that because they are like
doing sexual things now depicting minors,

having relationships with each other and
movies can be very touchy for people.

But the fact that they're
portrayed by adults I think is more

responsible Also like it doesn't
feel like we're objectifying teens.

Because there were stories, some
of these stories need to be told,

especially for those of us who
were teens and saw this movie.

And we're like trying to figure out like,
whether it was okay for astral vampire

sex to be our sexuality, or if we were
like really just supposed to have sex.

And that was the only way that
we were valid as like socially

is, to be sexually active.

Or whether we liked boys or
girls or, non binary people or,

like asexual people et cetera.

Th there is a very like narrow traditional
white twink angle of this movie,

which I think is really important to
talk about, because while it is very

attractive in that way, that a lot of
those of us who really like anime and

stuff and watch it like to watch pretty
boys, you know, make eyes at each other.

one Thing I wanted to mention about the
LGU since we're kind of dovetailing into

the LGBTQ stuff here, is that the way
that Sam refers to the vampire furnace of

Michael is kind of like how, like it's,
it feels like a parody of homophobia

does that, I'm not sure
what you mean, so thank you.

Yeah.

So the way that Sam is afraid of Michael

Emmett: and like my gotcha.

Emily: Okay.

Yeah.

The way that Sam is afraid of Michael
and is like, oh my own brother.

I can't believe you.

I thought I knew you kind of stuff.

There's this

Emmett: at him.

Like everything.

Yeah.

Touch him.

Emily: Yeah.

Ben: See.

Yeah.

But again, I feel like it's
muddled just a little bit because.

Sam is portrayed as the most flamboyant

Emmett: and yeah, but there's
a lot of ambiguity in the

theater and messaging here.

There's a lot of stuff
being conflicted and

Ben: all over the place.

Totally.

Right.

Emily: While it's not as like
straightforward, so not great

wording there what does not,

Ben: I think it was

Emmett: good wording.

Thank you.

Very clever word

Ben: play.

Emily: Maybe it was straight forward.

Sorry, we're getting in there.

While well, it wasn't as direct as
perhaps like, this is homophobia

over here and this is being gay
and this is good and this is bad.

And, be who you are, like the phobia
that just general phobia arc that.

Kind of goes through where
he accepts his own brother.

And then like also the people who are
super afraid of vampires are incredibly

incompetent and Reed is super conservative
and like toxically masculine in the

end they're less effective than a dog.

And all they do is they like
they run away immediately.

Like they w after they, they stake
Barco, they're like, oh shit.

Like they suddenly
realize oh, this is real.

Like they were completely on for the ride.

And then

Ben: I even fire their water guns
when confronted with vampires,

they just dropped the guns,

Emily: Sam

Ben: like straight up fires, water
gun, samphire his bow and arrow.

Sam's on top of they shit.

It was just straight bad at St.

Louis.

No, Sam is a non-straight,

Emily: I think that there's a bit of
classism in the movie with like they'll,

people are strange and Lucy being like,
Hey Sam, tell those kids to eat something.

When they see the like the little punk
kids running around the gas station at

the very beginning, which I'm like, shit.

Um, Is there anything else,
like in terms of class.

Jeremy: Not really there they're
kind of poor, but they just

run around doing vampire shit.

So

Ben: they're broke and on.

And they're like, but that's really
nothing that the movie explores.

That's really just an
excuse to kick off the plot.

Yeah.

They strike

Emmett: me as like Portland hippies
were like, their parents were rich,

but they're slimming it for fun.

Cause they think it's edgy.

Emily: I mean, they're

Jeremy: kind of

Emily: honestly, that's exactly what
they are because backs is like, well off

max has this cool sharper image house
with the gate and the dog and like a

fucking pool garden and whatever, like

Emmett: daddy's loaded.

Emily: Yeah.

Daddy's loaded.

And they're just like, no, we
want to live in the suite cave.

That was like, it's probably
going to collapse any day now.

Cause it's like not only fucking falling
apart from erosion from the ocean, but

it also was like some impossible remnant
of a collapsed resort or some shit.

What about mental illness?

Ben: I'm trying to think if there's a
buyers giving more like the half vampires

being enabled it getting harder and
harder to resist compulsion of feed.

I'm trying to think like,
is there anything there?

And my conclusion is no.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't think there is a size and
just tension and a ticking clock.

Emily: Yeah.

Like the vampire situation is used a
lot as like an allegory for addiction.

And that's not really
pressed in this movie.

Like that's not really explored that way.

It's more of a sexual thing.

Emmett: Yeah.

It's much more of a sex-based
thing than a substance.

Yeah.

Jeremy: The empire situation
is a great name for a band to

Ben: just

Emmett: write it down.

Emily: TM PM.

Progressive is horrified.

If you would like this
TM, please sign up for

Ben: our future.

I'm really mad that the band that figured
out vampire air plus now and equals good.

The band name was vampire weekend.

Emily: Other ones.

I wish

Ben: it was.

I enjoy anymore.

If you enjoy vampire
weekend, that is good.

I make no judgments on them overall,
but I do not personally care.

Emily: I mean, there's certainly
more vampirey bands out there, but

Ben: if you want to do, oh,
your deli vampire deli, it'd

be such a good band name.

Emily: Yeah.

Yeah, absolutely.

Emmett: I really love it because it's
half, like, if you can shut your brain

off, it's just a riot and it's beautiful.

There's so much camera work in there.

That's just incredible.

But also I think it's a good thinker piece
in terms of thinking about queer culture,

representations of queer culture, who
is allowed to represent queer culture

and in what ways and how you have to
navigate, sensors and things like that.

So it's just chewy, crunchy

Emily: movie.

Yeah.

Protein and sugar.

We've got cut carbohydrates,
cut the whole food pyramid.

Emmett: Complex carbs.

Yeah.

Emily: Complex.

Jeremy: Yes, it's real interesting.

That's this movie is like somebody took
the Goonies and near dark and just went.

Emily: Yeah.

And it's somehow made like the
most beautiful monster it's

like, I mean, like in in the
kind of way, like a sexy monster.

Jeremy: Well, in reference to that,
when asked when Joel Schumacher

was asked why he wanted to do a
vampire movie, he said there, the

only sexy monster is Frankenstein.

Isn't really sad.

Emmett: Yeah, for real cause,
well, you know, monster fucking has

come a long way since the eighties

Ben: We've made so many impressive strides
and innovations, like really the monster

fucking technology we've developed.

I mean, the monster fucking
technology that we have in our

pockets could have sent monster
fuckers to the moon in the eighties.

If you like

Lost Boys, check out porn,
parodies of holler at film.

I'm sticking with that as my
recommendation though, my recommendation

is horror movie porn parodies.

Emily: Okay.

Emmett: well, what kinds of
things should I recommend?

Emily: Oh,

Jeremy: with this, or just a, anything
you're enjoying, you're excited about,

Emmett: well, this isn't in a newer,
exciting thing that has been out, but

I was reading or I have read a book
called enigma, which was one of the

first like vertigo launch pieces.

That is a sort of existential horror
about queerness and coming out.

So it's relevant way more
theory stuff on mental illness.

Like it's just really good book.

Very cool.

Emily: Awesome.

What does, is that a recent release?

No, that was like in the nineties.

Okay.

Yeah.

You can see that.

Burgo

Emmett: yeah, it was part of like the
first run of comics ever to go dead.

Emily: Oh, rad.

Yeah, some really good
thing pieces in there.

I mean, with a lot of us read the
Sandman, but, and like Neil Gaiman

and that was awesome, but like,

Emmett: yeah.

Similar.

Emily: Yeah.

Jeremy, do you have recommendation?

Jeremy: Man,

Ben: Drink some more water.

I listened to so many more vegetables.

Don't drink blood

Jeremy: that was in so many movies
that Joe Schumacher directed.

I'm not sure that I would recommend
you watch any of them other

than of course music video for a
cause it's it's his finest work.

Emily: What about flat liners?

Jeremy: I mean, it's Flatliners have seal
singing to the bat symbol for some reason.

I don't

Ben: remember it.

I really wish they'd worked
that into the narrative.

Like at some point, the plot hinges on
seals, singing in front of the bad symbol.

Jeremy: It was just hanging around Gotham
city while they were we're all doing this.

Ben: No, like somehow this is key
to stopping the Riddler's plan.

Emily: Fun fact.

Brett's older brother, Brett.

My partner, his older brother was
a body double for one of those

kids running through the field and
throwing rocks at the kid and Kiefer

Sutherland stream and Flatliners.

So he was out there.

He was also called yeah, he was
also called back multiple times to

play John Connor and simulator too.

But he awhile Edward for a long, which is

Ben: wow.

It could have been,

Emily: gosh.

Yeah.

What I will

Jeremy: recommend here because I did
spend so much time hating on Friday the

13th when we talked about it initially.

And I do love the performance by by our
buddy Corey Feldman in this movie is

I will recommend watching the one that
he is in, which is Friday the 13th, the

final chapter, as you may have guessed
from the title, it is the fourth of 10.

But it is far and away, like one of
the two best Friday, 13th movies.

The, you know, other than to
the even numbered ones are

much better than the odd ones.

I don't mind saying.

But yeah, if you do, if you listen
to that and Kevin discussed a lot on

that episode wanting to talk about
more of the Friday, the 13th movies.

I do think number four is good.

He is also listed and being as
number five, he's only in flashbacks

because number five is funnel is
Friday the 13th, the new beginning,

and that is hot fucking garbage.

The fourth one is worth a watch and it is
he, as I mentioned, he plays a character

very much like Corey Haim's character
in this movie which I got a kick out of.

So, yeah.

Check out final Friday, the
13th, the final chapter,

Emily: For my recommendation there's so
many things out there, but I'm going to

go with something I saw actually really
recently as in last night there is a five

episode mini series that just dropped
on Netflix called vampire in the garden.

And it is about this vampire lesbian who
is trying to kind of rekindle her youth.

And there's this, it's very weird,
like a dystopian setting that has

a lot of richness to it, but it's
really about, and it is it's.

No spoilers or anything, but I mean,
this is a story about a vampire to

humans, so there's some tragedy there.

But it's beautifully animated really cool
vampire designs, like the vampires, a

kid, just get bat wings and fly around.

And they all have no melanin, like
they're all just kind of blank.

And even their eyes are kind of
like blank, but they're still, kind

of a theorial and cool looking.

I mean, it is very white but
it all takes place in Russia.

Or like some Russian esque place.

So there is that, but yeah,
it's a little bit more of a

character driven Castlevania,
ESC adventure, and very touching.

Check that out.

It's on Netflix.

Yes.

And you know, Vampires and people,
maybe they can get along are people too.

Jeremy: Anyway.

All right, fantastic.

Emmett, before we wrap up here, can
you let people know where they can find

more about you and your work online?

Ben: Yeah.

Emmett: I got a whole diggity
dang website and everything.

It's www.emetcomics.art.

And that's E M E T C O M I X, but I'm
also on like Twitter and stuff and the

comics, I'm not on Instagram anymore, but
the big project that I'm working on right

now is called gray, all depression, blue.

It's a web tune.

We're going on hiatus
in a couple of weeks.

It's a good time to like, get your
feet wet and come in before we come

back and solve the big mystery.

But it's a supernatural crime thriller
and it's super queer and it's set

in the seventies and it's just like
throw a million things at the wall.

Emily: Your art is so bad ass by the way.

I just have fucking fan out.

I

Ben: just wonder isn't so much on Royale.

Yeah.

Emmett: Yeah.

We're having a blast.

Ben: It's awesome.

Emily: Absolutely.

Or just design, gorgeous color.

Gorgeous.

I've loved the line work.

It's

Emmett: thank you.

Chose colors.

Like it takes it to the next level.

Like I can't even describe the
difference and stuff between

lines and when he, yeah, he's a

Ben: so good

Jeremy: us for the rest of us.

You can find
emily@megamouthontwitterandatmega_mothoninstagramanditmegamall.net.

Ben is on Twitter at Ben, the con on
their website@benkahncomics.com, where

you can pick up all their books, including
the brand new immortals, Phoenix,

rising graphic novel, and the glad award
nominated renegaded rural graphic novel.

And finally for me, you can find
me on Twitter and Instagram at

you can find me on Twitter and
Instagram at J room five eight, and

my website@jeremywhitley.com, where
you can check out everything I write.

And of course the podcast is on Patrion
and progressively horrified on our

website@progressivelyhorrifieddottransistor.fm,
where you can read all of our show

notes and it Prague horror pod,
where we would love to hear from you.

Speaking of which would, you can let us
hear from you by leaving reviews, wherever

you are listening to this podcast so
that we can help find a new followers.

Those reviews really help us reach
out to people who haven't been

able to find the podcast yet.

So, that's the first, thank you so
much again to Emmett for joining us.

This was.

Ben: Had a great time.

Yeah.

Thank you so much for coming on today.

This was so much fun.

Emily: Sure.

Thank you for seeing us
through this very long review.

Thank you for your input and thank you for
your selection because we've been talking

about lost boys and like, I'm glad you

Emmett: liked it.

One of my

Ben: family.

Yeah.

We loved it.

Thank you so much for picking this one.

And yes I ran a little long and
thank you so much for coming on.

Like seriously.

There's no good seen yet having a

Jeremy: blast.

Can we separate from The Lost Boys in
every single episode that we record?

Ben: Perfect.

Emily: And you know, sail on through
the night, lost in the shadows.

Thanks

Jeremy: again to all
of you for joining us.

Thank you, Emily, as always.

And until next time stay horrified.

Alicia: Progressively horrified
as created by Jeremy Whitley and

produced and edited by Alicia Whitley.

This episode featured the horror
squad, Jeremy, Ben, and Emily, along

with special guests, Emmett Hobbes.

All opinions expressed by the
commentators are solely their own

and do not represent the intent or
opinion of the filmmakers nor do they

represent the employers, institutions,
or publishers of the commentators.

Our theme music is epic darkness by Mario
and was provided royalty free from pixel.

If you liked this episode,
you can support us on Patrion.

You can also get in touch with us on
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email@progressivelyhorrifiedatgmail.com.

Thanks for listening.

Bye.