Ben: obviously Alicia, delete all of this,

. Emily: Except for the words,
we got those barbillions.

Ben: yeah,

Emily: think those are words of power.

we can keep those, but
just put it out of context.

Jeremy: We should, we
should talk about Lestat,

Emily: Yeah,

Jeremy: Good evening and welcome to
Progressively Horrified, the podcast

where we hold horror to progressive
standards it never agreed to.

Tonight, we're talking about the
film that made thousands of people

in 1994 say, This is gay, right?

the original interview with a vampire.

I am your host, Jeremy Whitley,
and with me tonight, I have a

panel of cinephiles and Cenobites.

First, they're here to challenge
the sexy werewolf, sexy vampire

binary, my co host, Ben Kahn.

Ben, how are you tonight?

Ben: Watching this movie after watching
the series, I had a real like, Mean Girls

2004 moment, where Brad Pitt showed up and
I just had the thought, Why are you white?

Why Louis white?

Oh, is this gonna be more problematic?

Oh, this is so much more
problematic with a white Louis.

Jeremy: Yeah.

and the cinnamon roll of Cenobites,
our co host, Emily Martin.

Emily, how are you tonight?

Emily: I am in my element, baby.

Let's talk about these
problematic white boys

Jeremy: And our guest tonight,
Horror fan and creative strategist

for AMC Networks, Jorri Roberts.

Jorri, thanks for joining us.

Jorri: so much for having me.

I have been waiting my whole life to
go on a podcast and talk about 1994's

interview with the vampire for hours.

This is, it's all downhill from here.

This is the peak for me.

Ben: I, I will tell you straight out,
I am gonna be bringing up the 2022,

television show adaptation quite a bit.

Mostly because it's one of the greatest
seasons of television ever fucking

Jorri: It's insane.

It's unbelievable.

Emily: AMC, isn't it?

Jorri: Yeah.

Jeremy: Yeah.

Ben: Which is good.

will be saying nothing controversial
about the series other than

just, like, praising it and being
insanely hyped for season two.

Jorri: A hundred percent legitimate.

I'm here for it.

We're all here for it.

Emily: I have sadly not seen the

Jorri: Oh, you oughta.

Emily: I know I ought to, I
think I've seen the first two

episodes of the first episode.

I just like, it's one of those
channels that I don't subscribe to yet.

And

Jorri: Oh, shame.

I'm

Emily: I know, I know, I can't.

Like, I'm subscribed to so many things.

Jorri: feel you.

Yeah.

It's worth it.

Yeah.

Emily: the, uh, the effort and the means.

I have to seize the means of distribution.

Jeremy: One of those rare individual
channels that isn't packaged with 800

other corporate partner channels now.

Ben: feel like seizing the means
of production is kind of what

Lestat does for most of this movie?

What, it's the production of vampires?

Emily: And it's not, I mean, hey
guys, just real quick, Ben said that.

This is not a socialist film.

Jeremy: well, Stodd is
definitely not socialist.

Ben: No, I took that in a sexual
slash creating vampire direction.

Jorri: As a horny film, more than
it is economically aligned, like,

if anything, it's like, it's
just like capital H horny film.

Ben: Oh, so horny.

Jeremy: It's weird in that it's,
like, sort of equally horny to

Twilight, but like, only because they
couldn't be as gay as they wanted to

in 1994, whereas Twilight is like,
they're straight, there's no excuse.

Emily: Yeah,

Jorri: Mormon, it's like,

Ben: yeah, it's like
twilight's, straight romance.

And this is a gay romance, but because
it's Stephanie fucking Meyer, they're

both equally repressed in their sexuality.

Emily: this movie's pretty gay though.

Ben: Oh my God.

There's so much face caressing in this

Jeremy: never has there been a movie so
gay where people just won't fucking kiss.

they're just hovering inches
from each other for hours.

Ben: The scene where Antonio Banderas and
Matt Damon are just an inch apart looking

into a Brad Pitt and Antonio Banderas.

Emily: Same shit.

At that point in time.

Jorri: Valentin Mr.

Ripley is next time, while it's still

Emily: Yeah.

Also, but no,

Jeremy: like Adam's apples?

How about these Adam's apples?

Ben: I do think 1994 Matt Damon also
would have crushed that role though.

Emily: Sure.

Jorri: can see it, I

can see it.

Jeremy: An extremely Bostonian vampire.

Ben: Oh, I would be, oh, yes.

Emily: It's in Boston
instead of New Orleans.

Ben: Just give me what we do in the
Shadow spin offs in various cities.

Emily: Yeah, there you go.

Ben: man, just the, just, has
Bill Burr ever played a vampire?

Can Bill Burr play a vampire?

Emily: Yes.

Let's go.

Jeremy: Yeah, so, uh, this, movie is, it
is written by Anne Rice, in addition to

her having written the source material.

It is directed by Neil Jordan, who I
feel like we've talked about on here

before, but I, I can only really think
of, I mean, we've, we've talked about

in the Company of Wolves, though we
haven't actually watched it for the show.

Jorri: Breakfast on Pluto, anyone?

It's not horror, but,

Jeremy: but we haven't talked about it on

Jorri: Amazing masterpiece like gorgeous
Kelly and Murphy breakfast on Pluto.

That's that's my knowledge of like
Neil Jordan alongside interview.

Jeremy: Yeah, interview, I
mean, crying game, obviously.

Talking about that could take all day.

Ben: Have not seen

Jeremy: Company of
Wolves we did talk about.

And then, yeah, I mean, he's
got tons of other films and TV

credits, writing and directing.

He wrote Michael Collins.

So he's got a lot of, a lot
of stuff under his belt.

And he's also like a published
author in addition to that.

And has, uh, has real weird vibes in
pretty much everything he makes which

I feel like is how he landed this job.

Ben: Yeah.

This, it makes sense that Anne, It makes
sense that Anne Rice wrote it because it

definitely feels like it's chief concern
is being a condensed version of the novel.

Then, going in with like, I'm
going to create a story and a

plotline that works for a movie.

Jeremy: Yeah, not like Queen of the
Damned, which is definitely, aimed at

being a movie rather than an adaptation of

Ben: I've never

Jeremy: two books that it
tries to shove together.

Ben: I've

Jorri: really?

Oh, talk about a relic of the nine.

Was it like or was it like

Emily: the early 2000s.

Jorri: like

Ben: moves the I know it moves the
Glamrock Lestat plotline to New Metal

Jorri: So embarrassing.

So, like, imagine, like, I love
whenever writers are like, yeah, I

have this character, and hear all
these deep, complex things about the

character, yeah, so this is gonna be
the idea, and they're a rock star.

Like, are you, are you joking?

Ben: Okay, but I cannot

Jorri: so good, and then, look, I
love Anne Rice, she's my queen, but

I'm like, rock star Lestat, really?

Like, I don't know, man.

Jeremy: Also,

Ben: am, I am praying that the series
goes on long enough that we get to

see Sam Reed in full on Glamrock
gear, cause you know, Glamrock

Jorri: I don't want to

Ben: Sam Reed is gonna be incredible.

Jorri: That's a vibe.

Emily: Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, the thing is, it

Ben: I know you especially
wanna see that, Jorri.

you wanna see the Glamrock.

Jorri: not saying you're wrong.

Emily: Yeah.

Jorri: saying to be like, and also
my character's a rock star is like,

that's, it's like peak like fanfiction.

net.

Emily: Oh, absolutely.

It is like my O.

P.

's, O.

C.

is like the coolest one.

Like, yeah.

Ben: I love that whole storyline because
it's Lestat's whole deal is I'm going to

go around and just give interviews and be
like, I'm a vampire and nobody will know

if I'm serious or not, except for the
people that know that vampires are real.

And I'm just going to be the most
like, but like fucking annoying

vampire troll there's ever been.

And that's it.

The whole point is just Lestat
being like, I want to be just

so cunty to the whole world.

Jorri: I mean, but like, I feel
like at least half of, or at least

a third of the 1994 movie is just
Lestat being fucking annoying.

Like, like it's at least a third of
it is like he and Louis just having

like the bitchiest catfights to each

Ben: I mean, again, I shouldn't use this

word flippantly, but he, he is
serving Kahn, like, he is so

Jorri: Oh, I'm not
saying he's not serving.

They're serving so much

Kahn.

It's fishing as fucking labor.

A hundred percent.

Ben: goes into every situation
asking himself, What's the

bitchiest thing I could possibly do?

Emily: And he admits it too.

At least he's true to form.

Jorri: And the only time that
he's ever challenged, like fully

challenged, is when Claudia very
casually calls him the father of lies.

Can we just fucking, like,
I just, I wrote this down.

I was like, we need to talk about this
moment right before she kills him.

And she's like, even though you're
the father of lies, like, oh, I mean,

Emily: Yeah.

Ben: Do you think if you asked modern
day Tom Cruise about this movie,

he would even admit to being in it?

Emily: I don't know if he
really knows what he's been in.

Jorri: Yeah.

What does, what does Zinu say?

Ben: I feel like he, he almost,
I feel like he'd almost, like,

reboot every movie he does.

Like, they'd just bring out a
fresh, like, Tabula Rasa Tom Cruise

for every Mission Impossible.

Emily: I'm pretty sure Tom Cruise,
like, spends all the time out of

the, like, off camera in a vat.

Like, he's, he's like a, he's like in
Evangelion, like, he's Rey, and he's

Jorri: in, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Emily: yeah, he's like in that
fucking, the, the dummy plug system.

Jeremy: I can't ever, I can't ever
decide whether I admire Tom Cruise

or despise Tom Cruise, because every
interview I've ever seen with him.

He seems very, like, acting really is
everything he cares about, like, that is

the most important thing in the world to
him, and I, like, I admire that sort of

dedication to the craft, but it really
feels like there's nothing behind that

Ben: If, if, if you told me that he spends
three hours a day just staring at a blank

wall, I'd be like, yeah, that checks out.

Jorri: this is why they got, like, Adam
Scott for Severance, because he's giving

that kind of Tom Cruise iness, where
it's like, you go somewhere, and then

it's just like, eight hours, you don't
know what you do, and then you go home.

Ben: I

Jorri: It's very like Tom Cruise
staring at the wall for eight hours.

Ben: like, I feel like, well, Adam Scott,
if you told me Adam Scott spent three

hours a day staring at a blank wall, I'd
be like, yeah, he seems to have depression

enough for that, whereas Tom Cruise
does it, and it's just like, AOL dial up

Jorri: Yeah, it's like autopilot.

Yeah,

Ben: yeah, like, I can see them both
doing it, but for very different reasons,

Emily: Yeah, there's nothing,
there's, there's a lot of piano

going on behind Adam Scott's stare.

Tom

Ben: address the Tom Cruise of it
all, My piece on him will be like,

he is an absolute complete cypher
of a man that feels impossible to

have any sense of knowing about.

He is Very much complicit in a very
harmful, very abusive organization and

that complicity should be condemned at
every opportunity, so I will use this

opportunity to condemn his complicity in
the crimes of the Church of Scientology,

and then we will proceed to have a lot
of fun with this very gay vampire movie.

Jorri: 100 percent support that and I
would like to segue and say, do we agree

that this is the only movie in which
Tom Cruise has ever been actually hot?

Emily: Legend.

Sorry.

Ben: a real, like, psycho, sti
dill thing going on in Collateral.

Jorri: That's, I asked someone else who's
really into this movie and they said

that's the only other one is Collateral.

Ben: Yeah, fuck it, cause it's the only
time he plays the villain, and he's so

fucking good at playing the villain!

Jorri: Tropic Thunder,
Les Grossman, anyone?

Ben: my god, right?

Jeremy: Yeah, I, I think,

Jorri: of the room about like, do
we think, is, is he hot as Lissade?

Because I 100

Ben: Oh yeah,

Jorri: Even though it makes me sick to say
that like Tom Cruise was hot in the thing.

Emily: He's, he's okay, as Lestat.

I don't know about his I don't
know about his, his weave.

Sorry, there's like a rain of feathers,
like an angel fell into my tree.

And I'm trying to figure out
what the fuck is happening.

I don't know, sorry, this is

Ben: Is

Emily: the thing that
happens in the contest.

Oh, I will.

I absolutely will.

If I see him perched on my
little branch out here, I'm gonna

be like, bye guys, I'm sorry.

Things have gone

Ben: I just saw Dune II, and Christopher
Walken does have one scene in that

movie that's just so fucking, like,
Christopher Walken speak that I

Emily: Wait, what?

Excuse me, what?

Ben: Oh, did you not know
Christopher Walken is in Dune Part 2?

Emily: No,

Ben: Oh, shit!

Emily: holy shit.

Jeremy: he's sadly not an
interview with a vampire, though.

Emily: Okay, okay, sorry.

We're, we're getting, we're
getting very sidetracked.

Um, I have a question for everyone.

I would like to know when all
of you first saw this film.

Let's start with Jorri.

Jorri: I saw it the most
perfect age you can be.

I believe I was right about like 14 or 15.

If you can imagine how it rewrote my
DNA, reprogrammed my mind, I read the

book and then I watched the movie with my
best high school friend who was also into

like, super like, melodramatic goth stuff.

And like, that age, I'm telling
you, ugh, like, Perfection.

Emily: I did first see it when
I was, I think, either 13 or 14.

Jorri: Perfect.

Emily: one of those.

Okay.

So one year my, my party movie, my
birthday party movie was seven because

everybody wanted to watch seven.

Everyone fell asleep, except for my mom.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah.

Jeremy's making a face.

Exactly.

Ben: I love that everyone was asleep,
but your mom was like, Well, I made it

this far, and I wanna see how it ends!

Emily: Yeah.

She was like, I'm not going to watch.

I'm not going to let these kids.

Yeah.

Ben: is in the box?

Emily: Yeah, she wasn't going to
let us watch seven without like, at

least some involvement, but then, um,

Ben: Martin.

Emily: Mama Martin is powerful and Papa
Martin was the one who chose unilaterally

without my, without my involvement.

He chose the interview of the vampire
for whatever birthday came after that,

and that was when I first saw it, and it
was on, it was a video, and it was, like,

just, just out from the Blockbuster, and,
or maybe it was Hollywood video, because

it wasn't edited as far as I could tell.

And, that did, make me realize
a few things about myself.

Okay.

Jeremy: I'm gonna say I
probably saw it about the same

age, maybe a little younger.

And it didn't, I'm gonna say, like,
it, it was a little on the boring

side for me at that age of just,
like, Didn't really hold my attention.

The, the early parts
with Louis and Lestat.

I was just kind of like, alright,
I, I'm, I'm sort of feeling

like Lestat at that point.

I'm like, let's just
fucking go to New Orleans.

Let's do something.

Like, stop eating rats, which is,
I'm, as much as like, Lestat is an, is

unquestionably an asshole in this movie,
I'm also like, the older I get, the more

I'm sort of on his side with between him
and Louis, where I'm just like, Louis,

Jorri: shut

Ben: got some real

Jeremy: man.

Like,

Ben: Louis's got some big
Holden Caulfield energy.

He's just going at me and all
these other vampires are phonies.

Emily: Yes.

Jorri: Also, there's some whiplash
in the beginning where it starts

with him being extremely suicidal.

I mean, it's like the first five minutes,
he's like, yeah, I basically had a death

wish all the time, and then like, Lestat
starts Hunting him and then finally comes

to him and he's like, So do you like want
eternal life or would you rather just die?

And then Louis very easily and
quickly is like, Oh, I'd rather like

have eternal life with a hottie.

So that was like kind of whiplash.

Did anyone else feel the same

Ben: Well, the plot

Emily: it was very typical of a,
dude in his twenties, you know,

whether or not you're a man at that

Ben: it's this weird fantasy going on
where it's like, because the plot of the

story really is, Louis is the saddest
boy in the world, and all of the most

powerful gayest vampires in the world
think that's the sexiest fucking thing.

Jorri: Is it not?

Emily: because he feels.

Jeremy: I, the, the part that
whiplashes me, and I think watching

it this time especially, is how
quickly in the beginning they're like

You Yeah, I was a great plantation
master in Louisiana who had all these

slaves, but I was totally a nice guy.

Ben: Oh, when

Jeremy: my wife and child died and
I thought maybe I should die and

I was like, maybe you should like

Emily: Yeah.

Ben: when the one slave is worried
about him, and she's like, Are

you even our master anymore?

Like, what the fuck are you, like,

Emily: Yeah, that was, uh,

Jorri: Anne Rice wrote this.

Emily: we're gonna, we're
gonna talk about this.

Ben: So my experience

Jeremy: feel I do feel compelled to to
mention that, that one slave who does

have a name, but it doesn't really matter
in this story, is, is Thandiwe Newton.

She's there for all of five
minutes before she is gas strained?

I don't know, it's really like, Louis,
what pisses me off about Louis is he

keeps having, there keep being these
moments where Lestat's like, oh the

person is gonna fucking die, just feed.

And Louis is like, no, I can't be
responsible for them dying, and

it's like, you can be responsible
for them bleeding to death.

And, like, going through this
torturous shit that Lestat is putting

them through, but you can't just
bite them and get, be done with it?

Like,

Emily: Yeah.

Like, that's, that's, I totally
agree with you, Jeremy, and

that's where I'm also with Lestat.

Yes.

Ben: oh yeah, my, so my experience with
the movie was like, I saw like, In bits

and pieces, and like a scene here, a scene
there, like, you know, as a teenager, on

YouTube, in my toys, and stuff like that.

But what very much informed my viewing
of the movie Probably, unfortunately

so, is that my first real experience
with the story was the AMC show.

So when I, and I, and I then later after
the first season watched the movie,

and there was a certain degree of, Mom,
can we go for interview of the vampire?

We have interview of the vampire at home.

Jorri: no, I love both.

Why can't we all get along?

Ben: No, I know, it's just like, but
just watch it feel like, oh, here's like,

the seduction of Louis, that's three
minutes of the movie, and an entire,

and like, and then in the show is like,
an hour long pilot, and one of the best

television pilots I've ever seen at
that, like it, like just the like, even

the line, like it almost felt a little
like, the high school theater version.

Of this story.

Just even the line where Louis
goes like, Ah, I had a wife and a

kid, but they died, whoopsie do.

Like, that just felt like a, like, a high
school drama teacher being like, Well,

we can't let the 10th graders be actual
gay vampires, So I'll just add this line

here, and boom, it's a straight story now.

Emily: yeah, I mean, it's,

Ben: It's a good movie.

It's a good movie.

It's just, like, I know it's,

Jorri: upset!

Ben: A fun movie, it's just
like, I love, like, this series.

I just instantly loved it so much, and
because it made such big variations,

there is just that element of, like, Oh,
Christian Slater, I do not enjoy Christian

Slater's Dan Malloy nearly as much as I
do, like, mean Brooklyn Jew Dan Malloy.

Jorri: Okay, so I, I do
love Eric Boghossian's

Ben: Oh, Eric Bogojian, I mean, oh,

Jorri: But, like, I will say that,
like, I'm, I'm only a human, you know?

I start watching Intrude the Vampire,
and from the very first frame,

I'm like, Kristen Slater, hot.

Like, I'm a

Ben: Oh, I get

Jorri: I'm sorry, I'm a, I'm a, am I
not a warm blooded American woman like

Ben: No, again, we're
talking about Christian

Slater in 1994.

Hell yeah.

Heeeell yeah.

Hell

Emily: yeah, so like, but I
do respect your point of view.

I think, Ben, your, your, your
point of view is very valuable here

because Interview with the Vampire,
there's not a lot of people out there

that have seen the series first.

Yeah, And so I think that that's really
interesting because the movie is its

own thing, but it's very needed, and
I'm going to be a front with you all.

I'm going to be as crystal clear,
like a pane of glass, just like

Armand with with my information.

I haven't read the books.

I know I was a teenage goth in the
nineties and I did not read the books.

I was busy reading comics.

Yeah, and, but like,

Ben: a badass

Jeremy: I know, it's that
Anne Rice comics suck, so.

Emily: so sad.

It's so sad.

There's a, anyway

Ben: Much like Lestat,

I can fix him.

Emily: yeah,

Jeremy: Hehe.

Emily: like, this movie and
White Wolf are my introductions

to the Vampire Chronicles.

And, you know, last, last time
we spoke I talked about making

a lot of White Wolf jokes.

I don't think it's gonna happen
as much this time, but we'll see.

But, yeah, the, like, the, the
books I knew through context.

I also had them in French, but I
only read, like, the first page in

French because I was in, a teenager.

Ben: I'm glad you brought up, like, this
movie's influence on the whole, like,

vampire lore and chronicles and all that.

Because I feel like this movie, like, the
book, definitely, and then this movie,

again, did a lot to establish this very
kind of 18th century French influence to

vampires, you know, and you see like even
into the modern day that becomes like

how vampires are still expected to look
even and dress even in the 20th century.

But I love that in the movie
itself, they're only dressed

that way because they're in New
Orleans in the actual 18th century.

And then once it's the 1980s,
like Brad Pitt just walking around

in a fucking Don Johnson suit.

Emily: Yeah.

Jorri: Oh my god.

I

Emily: He's, I mean, he's with it,
and that's the point, like, some of

the point that they try to make with
this character is that all these other

vampires are like, You're so new.

Ooh, you know, like he's a
new iPod or some shit then.

Ben: he's the trendy new thing.

Emily: yeah, and they're like, we just we
haven't figured out how to not wear lace.

Like, we have to wear lace.

Ben: Oh, when fuckin Lestat pulls
the lace out of his sleeves, like,

at the end, where he's like, Fuck
yeah, I'm back, motherfuckers!

Emily: and that's one thing that I
absolutely love about what we do in the

shadows is that like, that's a vampire.

they're all like weird Marquis
de Sade, like, perverts.

Ben: it's great.

Like, Oh, it's like, the
spirit of Lestat lives on.

Like, you do have this, like, you
do have this interesting Dictonomy

between Louis and Lestat in that way
that the movie explores, where it's

Louis is Louis ends up being eternally
of the time, like his empathy and

his self loathing and his regret keep
him grounded and present, whereas

Lestat, no matter the era, is like,
I'm motherfucking Lestat, I don't gotta

change for shit, I'm already the best.

Emily: Yeah.

Jorri: So if I could just talk about kind
of my experience with being someone that

had read the books because what you were
saying was was funny saying that like

you're a teenage goth, but you're reading
comics and stuff so I don't know to be

honest, I don't know if I would have.

read the books, if not for my se I've told
Ben this, my 7th grade English teacher.

She observed me, she saw what I was doing,
and what I was interested in, and what I

was writing on my own, and she handed me
a paperback copy, a mass market paperback

copy of Interview with the Vampire, and
she said, I think you would like this.

7th grade English
teachers, they always know.

they see your soul, and the
rest was history for me.

So, even though, like, I have a connection
to the books, reading them when I was a

teen, it was really, like, somebody else,
almost like a mentor figure that gave it

to me, that passed it on to me and I, as
I said, I, like, watched the movie pretty

shortly after reading a few of the books.

Like, I read, um, the
first three, I believe.

So, I read Interview, then Vampire
Lestat, and then Queen of the Damned.

it was interesting because my first
experience was the book, not the AMC

series, so like, Ben and I have very
different, it's interesting coming out

of these two different perspectives,
that we have different starting points

from the 1994 movie, that that was, both
of us, our second kind of experience

of it, but I mean, I loved it, I
thought it was a great adaptation, but

Ben: Oh, yeah.

Jorri: it is, very, like you
said, it's like, The story's

like, okay, moving on, moving on,

Emily: yeah,

Ben: But again, it, it is

Jorri: halfway through, Lestat is like,
killed or so you think, and then obviously

if you're like, a canny viewer, you're,
you're not gonna believe he's actually

gone, but still, it's like, halfway
through, you're like, oh, Tom Cruise is

dead, I guess, because they're trying so
quickly to like, get through everything.

Ben: God, when he shows up at the very
end, like, I'm so glad it wasn't just,

like, a little horror, like, jumpscare.

It's like, I'm back!

Yeah!

I cut to credits, it was like, I'm here,
and I, I'm gonna hammer the fuck up one

last time before we go into the credits.

Emily: Guns N Roses

Jorri: Oh my god, the

Jeremy: God, I hate that.

I hate that Guns N Roses cover
of Sympathy for the Devil.

It is so bad.

Jorri: But it

Jeremy: will say like,

Jorri: campiness.

Ben: Was that the only cover?

Like, could they not afford the
original Sympathy for the Devil?

They could only afford

Jorri: wasn't this so high budget?

Where was the money for that song?

Emily: I

Ben: the who just refuse
to give it to them, like,

or the Rolling Stones?

Emily: yeah,

Jeremy: will say about this film and
about, I mean, I haven't read the

book, but like, The conceit is so
good, and it's such a good, like,

introduction to this world of, this
literal interview with a vampire.

It's an interview with a vampire.

But, like, this sort of, like, taking
you through this world you have, this

vampire sort of laying these things
out for the reporter in the same way

that, they would have to lay it out
for you if they were, uh, telling

you the story in a way that works.

Very well, let's her
establish this whole world.

Let's everything sort of build itself out.

And you know that that book I
believe is 300 and some pages as

compared to when they do make the
Queen of the Damned movie, they

will take basically the entire book.

So the vampire list dot, which is 500
and some pages and the Queen of the

Damned, which is another 500 pages and
make them into an hour and a half film,

which surprisingly doesn't work out.

Great.

Ben: I'm sure that's, I'm
sure it's no big deal.

I'm sure it's fine.

Emily: But I feel like, I mean, it
is a challenge to do a memoir as

a film already, like, this is it,
and of course, we get this sort of,

It was unlike other things because,
the vampire was the protagonist

and as a memoir, it's really cool.

Like as a book, it's really
cool how to do it as a film.

It's always, there's a, there's going

Ben: it doesn't adhere to
classic film structure.

Like it has like a two act structure
with like almost an intermi almost

invites an intermission in the middle.

Emily: Yeah.

Ben: you know, it doesn't really have
your big Act three climax, but that's

all, like, that's also what makes it so
unique is that it doesn't, hey, it's not

paced or laid out really like much else.

Emily: And it's unique in its own way and
it's gay enough that it keeps you engaged.

Once upon a time, I, I spoke on this
podcast about the film Blood and Donuts.

And I said that what were the words?

Uh, astral,

Ben: man, I, I really love to see Tom
Cruise in a weird ass thumb gauntlet.

But

Emily: I didn't say that, although that
is, I always like seeing that, it's fine.

What I did say was astral vampire sex,
it was my sexuality in high school.

Jorri: Very specific.

Emily: And that is, and this is why.

Like, the end.

Jeremy: Yeah, I think we've
mentioned most of the folks that

are in this that are of note.

I mean, there's

Ben: we haven't talked
about Antonio Banderas.

Jeremy: yeah, I mean, we
have Christian Slater.

We have

Ben: Oh god, Kirsten

Jeremy: We have,

Emily: or Sindanced.

Jeremy: yeah, we have tiny Kirsten
Dunst giving the best acting

performance she'll ever give to

Ben: Honestly, honestly, she,
she, she will never be as

good as she is in this movie.

Jorri: years old.

Emily: Not Deanna Troi's secret younger
sister anymore, or older sister?

I can't remember.

Anyway, that's Star Trek
lore, don't worry about it.

Jeremy: Yeah, towards the end,
we get both Antonio Banderas and

Stephen Rea in their, their roles.

Antonio Banderas hair, I feel like,
has a very big role in this movie.

Um,

Ben: Oh

yeah.

Jorri: some wig.

Some wig.

Emily: yeah.

there's a lot of wig action.

If you like wigs, let's go.

Jeremy: If, if Charlotte the Spider was in
this movie, her web would say, some wig.

Like, that would be,

Emily: Very good.

Golf clap for that one.

Jorri: Capital W wig.

Emily: Yeah.

Jeremy: yeah.

Because everybody is, everybody,
all the male actors, other than

Christian Slater, are sporting wigs,

Ben: you tellin me Brad Pitt did
not grow that impossibly luxurious,

like, shampoo commercial hair?

Jeremy: Brad Pitt's the only one
that I would have any doubt about.

The, like, the rest of them are
like, This, this looks ridiculous.

Brad

Ben: Oh, Tom Cruise's wig.

Jeremy: movies in a row, so.

Emily: Yeah.

Ben: I get why there, there have
been complaints on this show

about Tom Cruise's fuckin weave.

Emily: Yeah, Brad Pitt was a bit
of a, um, a revelation for me.

Ben: I know, oh, I,

Jeremy: you were going to say
Fancy Lad for some reason,

Ben: I get it.

I get it.

Emily: yeah.

Ben: What I appreciate or my favorite
part about this movie, not necessarily

what I appreciate, but what I enjoyed,
before we dive into the recap, is Louis's

one and only solution to every problem
he encounters is set a house on fire.

Jorri: fires.

There were three house fires.

I just, I

Ben: know

Jorri: took count as I

Ben: oh no, oh

oh

Jorri: I'm like, okay, number
one, like, you're like, okay,

it's a gothic horror story.

It's like, you know, there's
going to be a fire, but I'm like,

okay, first house fire, of course,
when the plantation burns down.

And then I'm like, okay, you know,
this is not your regular gothic story.

This is, there are two fires.

Wow, two.

And then later on, you're like,
Three, the coven, three fires.

This is, this is not just regular
gothic, this is capital G gothic.

Jeremy: to mention, that second fire,
he burns down all of the French Quarter.

Ben: All of it!

All of the French

Emily: Right?

That motherfucker.

Ben: my

Emily: much history.

Ben: the, is the Coven Fire.

Not just because all of the vampires
seem to be in spring loaded coffins.

Jorri: Because he has a scythe and he just
goes around like it's fucking like Evil

Ben: Well, that's,

Emily: That is the best, though.

Like, that whole

Jorri: So

Emily: so good.

Yeah.

Ben: well, my favorite part is, now I
know you can make the argument that,

oh, Claudia just died, he was like,
heartbroken and devastated, but the way

I really take it is that, by that third
arson, he is completely bored afire.

Emily: I mean, it worked the
first time and the second time.

Ben: he looks so bored in that last arson.

He is just, like, slicing down vampires
like he is taking out, like, the

trash or, like, cleaning his kitchen.

Emily: Yeah.

I'm, well,

Jeremy: my favorite, though, is
the first arson, in which he, like,

passes out in the middle of the
arson, and Lassad has to crash in

and be like, Oh, Louis, you asshole.

And just, like, pull him

Ben: Well, it's just, like, his
temper tantrum self loathing arson.

And

Emily: yeah, there's a lot to
say about their relationship.

Jeremy: I love the amount of, the
number of scenes in this movie that

end with basically the stop popping
in and going, Oh, Louis, you asshole.

Emily: Yeah.

Yeah.

Jorri: Which

Ben: right every

Emily: I could quit you.

Jorri: Well, cause you have this whole,
this like, concept of the tragic vampire

story as you see a lot in media, but then
there's always, there's this touch of

humor with that, where if like, so many
of these situations where he's having

this outrageous emotional breakdown ends
with Lestat being like, You fucking idiot.

It's like, it has a kind of
comedic touch to it that makes

it kind of unique, I feel like,

Emily: Yes.

Yeah.

And it also is a little
bit relatable, which

is funny.

Jeremy: is so much like, Do you know
how long I've been a vampire without

almost burning myself to death?

And yet.

Emily: Yeah.

And these, just this one decade,
all of this has happened.

Like, there's, you have, I've almost
been burned to death three times

because of your sad little ass.

Like, fucking pathetic, man.

Anyway, should I do the, I want to do the,

Jeremy: Yeah, hit it.

Emily: Okay, we're recapping this shit.

Okay, so our story
begins in San Francisco.

Where else?

Daniel Malloy, played by Christian Slater,
is interviewing Louis, who is played by

Brad Pitt, who quote unquote claims to
quote unquote be quote unquote a vampire.

So what's that about?

the short version is possibly
homosexuality, but the long

version starts in 1791.

Louis was a plantation owner in the South.

He was sad.

He got drunk, and then a man kissed
him, and he was different ever since.

That man was a vampire named Lestat,
our Tom Cruise character, who actually

called Louis back the next night.

Lestat gives Louis the choice
he never had to become vampire.

So now we get some rules
about becoming a vampire.

It means that you get a low
saturation glow up, uh, you get

heightened senses, cool contacts.

Sometimes you have telepathy,
sometimes you can walk on walls, move

fast, celerity, whatever you want.

Crucifixes, no problem, stake through
the heart, does jack shit, however,

you do have to blink, so you have
to blink dread, you have to drink

blood, and you gotta sleep in a
coffin because sunlight does burn

Jeremy: genuinely, I genuinely love
the like, Pissy goth boy mood of

Brad Pitt, like, Oh, I actually
quite enjoy looking at crucifixes.

Emily: Yeah, I'm not like other

Jeremy: God, Louis.

Ben: who does that?

What do you mean you enjoy,
like, what do you do?

Do you just, like, hang out at church and
be like, yeah, that's a good ass crucifix?

Emily: Well,

Jeremy: like, I like,

Ben: Fuckin loser,

Jeremy: sadness of the crucifix.

I hate crosses.

Crucifixes, that's the way to go.

If it doesn't have a dead man stapled
to the front of it, I'm not in it.

Emily: a dead shirtless man.

Let's, let's be real.

Like, there's, there's some there, but you
know, that's a, that's a different movie.

Louis wakes up the next day, horny
for blood, and starts literally

draining the less fortunate between,
slaves, sex workers, anybody

who can't really resist him.

But he's still kind of iffy
about this whole murder thing.

Oops, maybe he shouldn't
have been a vampire then.

Oh well.

So Lestat is like, okay, how about
we kill some shitty rich people?

And Louis is like, nah,
I'd rather kill dogs.

Cool.

Now, what 90s film about evil
shit would be complete without

some weird voodoo references?

Louis slaves are especially upset about
the whole vampire thing on top of the

being slave thing, and they try to revolt.

Louis is also especially upset because he
accidentally killed his slave concubine

and is like, okay, yeah, I'm an asshole.

And then he burns his whole house
down and says, you're all free.

I'm sure everyone will believe that you,
your, your master's a vampire, burned

his house down and said you were free.

but we're not gonna unpack that
because that's not this movie.

as Louis is starting to burn to
death, Lestat saves him from the

Inferno and they move to the big city.

Louis still won't kill a human and
is sad from eating muddy rat blood.

But he ends up to, in
the gutter, starving.

And whoops, he drank the blood of a child.

That's awkward.

Lestat then shows up says lol cringe at
Louis who has a lot of regret about that.

There's a lot of poetry about morality
and Lestat is like, okay, so if you

don't want to kill the little girl,
we can make her her vampire daughter.

It's a win win, okay?

And Louis is like, I guess.

So here's Claudia,
played by Kirsten Dunst.

She is very cute and a
ravenous little vampire child.

And Lestat fully admits.

from the get go that she is absolutely
a fucked up trap to keep Louis from

leaving this toxic relationship.

Also

we learn that,

Ben: He It was a real It was a
real, like, Uh, I think you should

leave now, like, He admit it!

Jorri: No, it's literally, maybe
having a child will fix us.

Emily: yeah, yeah, except
he just makes the decision.

Ben: literally like, Louis was going
to leave me, but I made you, so

now he'll stay, or else you'll feel
sad, won't you, little girl vampire?

Emily: fully, he fully says that shit.

So I mean, at least
he's honest about that.

I

Jeremy: he turns her into an
absolute raving psychopath.

Emily: yeah, no, she becomes the, the
fucking, like, most intense little,

like, vampire monster, and I love it.

Ben: Of all of the myriad of
ways that Lestat is toxic and

abusive, and He isn't a gaslighter.

Emily: That's not in this case, at least.

He, we also learned that he doesn't
like eating white Yankee Democrats.

We're not going to unpack that.

Ben: Oh, that, I had that in
my notes where he's like, ew,

people that believe in democracy.

Emily: They don't taste good.

Which I mean, like, on one hand, you
could be like, because he does like to

eat shitty rich people, which is fine
but it's like, weirdly, like, one of

those things where he's like, so fucking
cringed that he's back to based, whereas

Louis is like, just on the edge of
that cringe meter, trying to be based,

but he can't quite get there because
he's not quite like, the, the, the

Ben: I mean, the implication is
that authoritarians taste better.

Emily: Yeah, to, to eat.

And I'm like,

Ben: Lestat, oh my God, America
is, America must be an all you

can eat buffet for him these days.

Emily: Yeah.

Ben: he is just gorging himself
through the Bible Belt these days.

Emily: God, so the novelty of
being a precious baby vampire girl

eventually wears off for Claudia as
she matures in mind and not in body.

She experiences a lot of frustration
and gender envy and begins to grasp

the true fucked upness of it all.

And we learned what is
scarier than a vampire child,

which is a vampire teenager.

Lestat should have
thought about that, huh?

apparently also Claudia's dads
haven't had the talk with her in

decades, like, since she was vampired.

So, she's really pissed off
about that, and reasonably so.

since she has little to no agency,
In this whole situation, she decides

to conspire with Louis to get rid of
Lestat by making him drink dead blood.

And I say conspired in a very
loose way because she's like, I

think I'm going to kill Lestat
and Louis is like, and that's it.

he's not committal about it.

So

Jeremy: all think we're going to kill
this dad once a night, but we never do it.

Emily: yeah, he's like,
she'll get over it.

Ben: who hasn't fantasized about
killing Lesthad once or twice a night?

Emily: Yeah.

And so but but Claudia
goes, she she commits.

She makes Lestat drink the
dead blood, which is bad.

Lestat rots into a little ghoul
creature after she cuts his throat.

And Claudia and Louis throw
him to the alligators.

Louis is still like, I'm not sure
if this murder is okay though.

But meanwhile, they decide
to cheese it to Europe.

But then as they're about to get
on the boat, Lestat shows up and

is like, Oh, I'm back, bitches.

I drank the alligators.

What did you think would fucking happen?

But then Louis sets his old Greg
looking ass on fire, and the Blaze

takes out most of the French Quarter,
and they watch from the boat as

they mourn all their burnt pianos.

Yeah, vampires are assholes.

So anyway, Louis and Claudia searched the
Mediterranean for vampires to no avail.

Um, Louis,

Ben: guilt, Louis never really seems
to feel bad about all the people

he definitely killed in that fire.

Emily: yeah, or the slaves.

I mean, he must be, he's
definitely like, I had a,

Ben: like,

am I

Emily: my slaves.

Ben: am I a bad person?

Yes, and it has nothing to do with
being a vampire, but that doesn't help.

Jeremy: He did totally just yell,
you're all free men now, just before

burning his house down and running away.

Emily: yeah,

Jorri: then they all looked so confused
when he like, when he just like passed

her body onto them and ran they're
all just like, oh, uh, thanks, okay?

Like, like, no, no context, no warning
just like, you're all free, I'm leaving,

Emily: Yeah.

And they're

Jorri: house is burning down, I don't know
what you want from us, what are we doing?

Emily: yeah, we were about to
burn your house down anyway.

Ben: I love when he

Emily: can you have, can we have

Ben: something in that scene and he
doubles back and like, resets it on fire.

Emily: he's like, nah, it's gotta
be, like, I'm not gonna give

my slaves any sort of writ of
freedom or anything like that.

I'm not gonna give them any pieces
of paper, because at the time, you

Ben: he's too busy being
a tantrum throwing baby.

Emily: Yeah,

Ben: He's too busy, he's too
busy feeling his feelings, cause,

Emily: And also, I'm pretty sure,
I will bet that he told that story

about his slave concubine being like,
Louis, I'm so worried about you.

And that is definitely
like, unreliable narrator

Jorri: Ooh, unreliable narrator
Louis, that's an interesting point.

Emily: I mean, at that point, you
know, in 1994, he's probably like, I

should probably like, just kind of,

Ben: Well, I do like the interpretation
that Lestat's portrayal on this

is partly colored by Louis just
being a real, like, bitter ex.

Emily: yeah,

Ben: like, and just playing
up his negative features.

Emily: yeah.

So yeah, so, they can't find any vampires.

Count Dracula is apparently the ravings
of mad Irishmen, and that's a slam on

Bram Stoker, and I think that's rude.

I think that's rude of Louis.

I think Lestat does a lot more damage
to the vampire, like, idea than

fucking Bram Stoker ever did, so

Jorri: that's another conversation.

Wow.

Emily: Yeah, they end up in Paris.

they have some fun for a
while, and it might be awkward,

but they gloss over that.

Because Louis is says that he
succumbs to all of Claudia's desires.

And then it shows her
getting pretty dresses.

So, and there's a lot of points where
she's like, no, we're not lovers.

She's my daughter.

I know that there's like a thing going
on about like, commentary about her

kind of growing up and not having, you
know, her body, her mind growing and her

soul growing, but not her body growing.

But we're not going to talk about that.

And I don't know if that's
talked about in the book.

There's a comic book that I read that
kind of talks about it, but it was

still kind of noncommittal in that way.

And I'm kind of happy for that.

But, you know, that's a, that's
a suitcase I can leave alone.

Anyway, so they end up in Paris.

Here they find another vampire, or
rather, a whole masquerade of vampires.

There's Armand, Antonio Banderas, and
Santiago, Stephen Ray, who sexually invite

Louis and Claudia to their sexy play
where they sexually pretend to be sexy

humans pretending to be sexy vampires.

It's very meta, very ahead of its time.

Armand sexually shows Louis and
Claudia his, cool vampire clubhouse.

And they all get a sip of young
Timothee Chalamet as is custom.

Ben: okay,

Jorri: No, I literally wrote, I'm
like, they have a buffet, boy.

Emily: yeah, they have a

Jorri: Friesian, vent

Ben: when he,

Jorri: Heavy.

Buffet, boy.

Does that pay?

Ben: when he then shows back up
as like driving the carriage,

I'm like, Hey, are we gonna
talk about Armand's boy servant?

Emily: Yeah.

Jeremy: Buffet boy and getaway driver.

Emily: Yeah.

I hope that kid gets real good food

Ben: Where did Armand,
where did you find this kid?

Can we get the whole book
from his perspective?

Holy

Jorri: it's, France, you

Jeremy: I'm also, like, a

Emily: a

Jeremy: a little, a little dubious about
Louis taking his arm and seeing that

there are already bite marks there and
being like, I'm not gonna drink after

somebody else, let me get a fresh vein.

Like, Louis.

Ben: I, I took it more as like, well
that's, that's unhygienic, I take it

more as like a hygiene thing where it's
like, you know, someone gives you a

bite of sandwich, it's like, well let
me take a bite out of like the opposite

end, I don't want to take a bite out
of the same end you took a bite from.

Emily: you're passing it
on the left hand side.

Right.

And it's like, if you're passing it on
the left hand side and then somebody like

wipes off the, I mean, like, If it's a
bull or whatever, somebody wipes it off,

and I don't know if you wipe it off when
you're like, smoking together, like,

that's, I don't know, I feel like it's

Ben: joint rules, bite, bite, pass.

Emily: Yeah, exactly.

And, I don't know, I mean, I think
that also maybe shows that Louis is,

just doesn't know what the fuck because
this is the first time he's met any

other vampires other than Lestat.

Jorri: Lestat always have like
a buffet boy around, like I feel

like it's surprising that he
wouldn't have seen this before.

Seems like Lestat would have invented
the buffet boy, you know what I mean?

Ben: Well, I feel like Lestat likes
the killing part too much to ever

be like, Let me just drink some
of you and then you can come back

after you've just made more blood.

Cause that's a thing you humans can do.

Emily: I, I don't know the whole story
about Lestat, like, other than what

I've seen of Queen of the Damned.

I'm so sorry, but we'll
talk about that later.

Ben: The origin, now I don't know how
true, Again, I didn't read the books,

but I watched the show, and in the, And
in the show, they do give us, or they

give us his explanation of his origin
story, and uh, Yeah, it's mad fucked up.

It's a fucked up, origin.

It's real, real bad.

Emily: I figure it's like Tekken
and he's like dropped off a cliff

by a martial artist or something.

Ben: In the show they explain like
he, his brothers, his abusive brothers

and father sold him into Slavery to
a vampire who just kind of fed on him

for a while, then one day just decided
to turn him into a vampire and then

just killed himself in front of Lestat.

Emily: cool.

Jorri: Average background, you know.

Ben: Yeah, so I get why Lestat gets
frustrated with Louis when Louis's

like, Well, you must know the
answer, surely you have the answers!

And Lestat's just like, cause that's
what Lestat's just like, Dude,

I was fucking sold into slavery,
tortured, and then an old dude

just killed himself in front of me.

That's all I fucking got!

Emily: Yeah, Lestat's like, I made it up.

I made it up as I go along.

But I think that, like, Lestat also
is, he's like a lone wolf, but also,

like, he's kind of running from shit.

Like, he doesn't really want to stay
in the same place for a long time.

And then, Louis was sort of his
like, oh, maybe I could settle down.

Ben: he was clearly so cunty that
he got kicked out of all of Europe.

Emily: Yeah, yeah.

So, meanwhile, back

Jeremy: be pretty bad for
France to kick you out for that.

Ben: Like, again,

Emily: right?

Ben: fuck it, there's that whole
scene where Louis was like,

Did you know Lestat, Armand?

And you can just tell Armand is just
thinking to himself like, Did I know

that, did I know fucking Lestat?

Yeah, I think I knew fucking Lestat!

Emily: I think

Ben: he doesn't say it, but you
can tell that's the to the to

Jorri: What did he say?

It was like, I knew him well enough
to not mourn his passing or something,

like really come to you like

Jeremy: I, I believe the exact translation
of that is, I dated that bitch once.

Uh,

Jorri: Pretty much, yeah.

Jeremy: that Santiago

Emily: exactly.

Ben: want to give credit to just cause

Jeremy: scene.

Cause,

Ben: It must be in the book.

Tom Cruise absolutely nailed it.

I kind of think it's his best line
delivery in the book, in the movie,

and they repeat it word for word in the
show, and it's also fucking fantastic.

And it's Lestat's whole like, kill them
swiftly if you will, but do it, for do

not doubt you are a killer, Louis, speech.

It's like, of all the lines, I just
wanted to highlight that one, because

it's so good, and honestly, Cruise's
delivery is fucking chef's kiss.

Emily: there is a lot of drama
in this and it's just, I love it.

Armand gets to do a bit of sexy
exposition and he makes a pass at Louis.

Sex position.

Yes.

Louis and Claudia are like, okay,
and Santiago bids them farewell with

an ominous, I know what you did.

And Claudia's like, this is super sussy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Jeremy: Louis is like, I feared
that I had done Lestat wrong.

And Santiago is like, Hey, so
how did you do Lestat wrong?

Emily: Yeah.

What'd you do, bud?

Jeremy: I heard that.

Like,

Emily: Yeah.

You got regrets?

Jeremy: Did you kill him?

Emily: Yeah.

Killsa.

So Claudia is scared that Armand is
going to steal her, or excuse me,

Claudia is scared, Claudia is scared
that Armand is going to steal Louis

from her, so she does the same fucked
up shit that Lestat did and tries

to trap Louis with a vampire wife.

Jeremy: got the impression that that
was supposed to be her vampire mom.

And

Ben: Yeah, yeah.

That that

Jeremy: make me a vampire
mom, and then you can go.

That's

Emily: Yeah,

Ben: that that's how I
interpreted the guilt trip.

Emily: so, I mean, there was,
there was a lot of guilt going on,

Jeremy: And then Louis goes and
lies on a railing for a while.

Emily: yeah, Louis,

Ben: yeah, like, let's be real.

You're not tempting Louis with a woman.

Emily: yeah, so, she's basically
like, make me a vampire mom, because I

really want a vampire mom, and Louis is
like, look, I don't, I don't, and then

Claudia's like, you love Armand, don't
you, and he's like, okay, whatever,

like, I'll make you your vampire mom,
this is, this is a thing I don't want,

and then, so, he's like, I'm, goodbye,
my last bit of humanity, or whatever,

It wasn't the last bit of his humanity.

Jeremy: And Claudia's definitely got a
type, a sort of chesty, dark haired type.

That's the

Emily: yeah.

Jeremy: the, girl that she sees
early on and is like, I want to

be her, and actually I'm going to.

Drink all of her blood
and leave her in my bed,

to rot.

And then the, the woman that
she chooses for her mom are,

are very like similar types.

Emily: Yes.

Ben: sing enough praises
for Kirsten Dunst.

For Kirsten Dunst as just this
psychotic, killer little girl.

Emily: So

Ben: Like, just pitch just pitch perfect.

Emily: Yeah.

Jorri: hard to find, like, actually
good child actor performances.

And you know, I mean, Grain
of Salt, they're children, but

like, so like, you can't expect
that much, but when you get one,

Emily: Yeah.

Jorri: Wow.

You know, when you get the
actual good, like, child actor

Jeremy: The one, one wild thing
about the character of Claudia that I

wanted to bring to people was, Lestat
says early on that the dark gift

manifests differently for everybody.

But apparently part of his dark gift is
that he can do whatever he wants to with

the hair of the people that he turns to,

Emily: Yeah.

Jeremy: vampires.

She gets bitten and then like,
goes full on ringlets that she

didn't have previously when
she was a dying plague child.

Um,

Ben: thought that was her

Jeremy: she tries to cut him.

When she tries to cut
them later, she can't, so.

Ben: The, the, her vampire
powers just gave her great hair.

That's her only power.

Emily: So, I mean, that's Lisette.

Lisette has a very hair based gift.

Ben: I, I would believe Lestat
having some sort of, like,

Piccolo style clothes powers.

Emily: It's definitely a social primary.

Anyway, um, so Louis makes the vampire
mom and he's like, and there's a

lot of sighing and Claudia is like,
sorry, but I guess, I don't know.

I don't know what morality is.

I was Lestat's kid.

And Louis is like, fair.

And then Armand's bitches show
up and they're like, no hetero.

And they send Santiago to everything.

He sends Santiago to punish Louis.

and company for their collective crimes.

They lock Louis in a coffin and
break him up in a wall, and they take

Madeleine and Claudia into the Sun Hole.

Which is a, uh, basically a drain
with no, like, umbrella on it.

Colin Robinson does not
show up to save them.

Spoilers.

But, Armand busts Louis out of the
wall conveniently right at sunset.

And alas, all those layers of canvas
and cotton clothing could not shield

Claudia and her vampire mom from
this unrelenting power of the sun,

and they've become one of the most
tragic and amazing props in cinema.

That shit was so dope.

So Armani's like, I'm sorry
about that, but can I, can I hit?

And Levi's like, let me think about it.

Jeremy: I love that the implication in
this conversation is that Armand knew that

all of his guys were going to kill Louis,
and then he knew that Louis's reaction

was going to be to murder all of them, but
he was really tired of Claudia and all of

his guys, so he just let that shit happen.

Emily: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's

Jeremy: was like, you know, I
could have stopped it at any

point, but I didn't because I'm
really tired of these assholes.

Ben: Armand went out of his way to
choose the course of action that

would result in the most death.

Emily: right?

Yeah.

Okay.

So, Louis thinks about it, and then comes
to Armand's clubhouse the next morning

and sets the whole damn place on fire,
killing all of Armand's bitches and

cuts Santiago's whole body off Armand
is like, okay, fair, but now can I hit?

And Louis is like, no.

So Louis fucks back off to the US
and learns to appreciate cinema.

Even for Louis, Superman brings a bit of
reprieve to an eternity of mediocrity.

That is the original
Superman, the original

Ben: Oh yeah!

Fuckin Superman got a cameo in this

movie!

Emily: yeah.

Why can't I remember his name?

May he rest in peace.

Christopher Reeve.

Christopher Reeve.

Ben: Now, I know it's supposed to
be that he's watching Superman the

movie, but I like to believe that
Superman just exists in this world.

Emily: Yeah, he just saw Superman,
like, turn back the sun for Louis

so he could see it rise again.

And then, you know,

Ben: Superman would,
Superman would do that.

He's a good guy.

Emily: Okay archive of

Jorri: Of our own.

Emily: Yeah, superman, ex, Louis.

Jorri: I'm sure it's already done.

You know it's all done.

Emily: All right.

Send it to me on Blue Sky.

Actually, you can't DM on
Blue Sky, on Instagram.

Okay.

So, Louis decides to visit his home
soil of New Orleans, and he can

smell the stink of Lestat for miles.

He finds Lestat sitting in a
chair for a century, being all

sad and afraid of helicopters.

Louis's like, okay, it's okay, pops.

It's only technology.

But I'm gonna go slay elsewhere
and enjoy being a living mummy,

Jeremy: just,

Emily: that's,

Jeremy: the way in which both you said
it and the way in which it sort of plays

out in the film is like, Lestat has just
sort of like a like a dick stank almost.

Like, that Louis smells it
from several blocks away.

He's like,

Jorri: Too faint for mortals to smell.

Emily: yeah, it's not a mortal smell,

Jeremy: I know that dick.

Emily: yeah,

Ben: when Lizard's like, oh,
so you've come back to me,

Louis, and Lizard's like, No.

Emily: it's not like a, I wish I
could quit you, it's like, I bet

you wish that you could quit me, and
Louis's like, actually I quit you,

Ben: is Louis going, this is Louis
coming from more of a, Hey, buddy!

Emily: yeah, Louis's
like, yeah, I know I look

Ben: going?

Well,

Jeremy: the bit with the helicopter feels
like something that they were trying

to adapt directly from the book that
just doesn't, doesn't make any sense

in the movie because the helicopter
just hovers outside of this like, Three

story rotten old, you know, New Orleans

Ben: is that just what
helicopters do in New Orleans?

Are there just helicopters that
are just hovering like 20 feet

off the ground just like shining
lights and like on a nightly basis?

Emily: that's what they do in
Sacramento, I don't see why they

wouldn't do that in New Orleans.

Ben: Fuck.

Also, it makes Lestat really look
like a complete fucking idiot.

Emily: Yeah, I guess he was
just sad and then he like fell

asleep for three decades or some

Ben: Like, I know he got set on fire,
but, like, my guy, it is 1988, and you

still don't know what electricity is?

Emily: Yeah, you still don't
know about helicopters?

He's just been like in torpor
in your rocking chair being sad.

Well, don't worry

folks.

Jorri: I mean, who,
who among us, you know?

Emily: that's true.

And for, the longevity of vampires,
of course things do take longer.

All

Jeremy: man yells at helicopter.

Ben: Ah, there goes old man Lestat!

Emily: The helicopter's like,
what's going on in here?

Oh, sorry, guys.

Sorry, I didn't mean to
interrupt your vampire reunion.

Jeremy: What were they doing?

Oh, gay shit.

I don't know.

Emily: I don't know, there's
some gay shit going on in

Ben: I mean, I

Emily: them?

No,

we're in New Orleans.

Ben: implication that after this,
Lestat spent the next six years just

stalking Louis around the country.

Emily: I mean, obviously.

And, Lestat, like, the first thing
Lestat says to Louis when he finds him

again is like, damn, girl, you hot.

And Louis's like, you're not.

Jorri: You know, Louis's like, I

Emily: and look.

Yeah, I know.

I've been

Ben: though, when he's got the hair
down, and he's got that fuckin 80s

suit, like, honestly, he's killin it.

He looks fantastic.

Emily: He just like, drank
Rob Lowe the other day.

Like, it was fuckin awesome.

But anyway, so um, that's the story,
says Louis to Christian Slater.

Being a vampire kinda sucks, get it?

Christian Slater's like, no,
no, like, I wanna be a vampire.

Like, I wanna be your vampire
boyfriend, that's why we're here, right?

Like, this is, this is, I mean, it sounds
rad, like, let's be vampire boyfriends.

And Louis's like, have you listened
to a word I have been saying?

Okay, bye.

And then Christian Slater is real
shook when Louis just up and vanishes.

so he gets in his little convertible
and he drives back to Marin,

because of course he's from Marin.

But, oh shit!

Wait, it's, it's Lestat!

He's here and he's gonna sexually
grant Christian Slater's dark wish

of being a vampire mid commute,
which, that's gotta be awkward.

Um, And then we have the Guns
N Roses cover, which We can

talk about that later, but

Jeremy: not, we could
just not talk about it.

It's terrible.

Jorri: We've got a hater in the building.

Emily: yeah, I mean, I
don't, I don't mind it.

I just think, I

Ben: Drinking that Haterade,

Emily: Yeah, but it did make me
excited for the sequel, and hell

yeah, let's bring the sequel.

What is it?

Oh, whoops, it's Queen of the Damned.

I'm sorry, everybody.

Ben: a full eight years later,
and none of the cast returning.

Emily: yeah, and so, like, the Rockstar
thing, I think, Jorri, you had a good

point about the Rockstar thing, and the
other thing about, like, it's so fun

when the vampires are anachronistic and
it's really hard for a vampire to be an

anachronistic and a rock star, right?

Unless they're like, in Vegas,

Jorri: Sure.

Emily: doing like,

Ben: Liberace vampire,

I see where you're going with

Emily: Liberace vampire, hell
yeah, but like, I mean, Mick

Jagger vampire, Grateful Dead

Jorri: like, pick one.

Pick one.

Emily: Yeah, you

Ben: let's be honest, at this
point Mick Jagger being a vampire

would explain how he's still alive.

Emily: He's, he's, he must have
gone the Lestat route though

because he's not looking as

Ben: He's been set on fire a few times.

Emily: Yeah, he's not drinking enough,
he's not drinking enough blood,

Jorri: Someone, bring Timothee Chalamet.

Ben: Zombie Keith Moon
keeps coming after him.

Emily: yeah, if zombie Keith Moon comes

Ben: Was that in poor taste?

Was that, was that a little too,
was that in a little too poor taste?

Emily: no, Mick Jagger, no, we, we can
joke about the Rolling Stones, they,

they're successful, they're still alive,
they've done some shit, I know they've

done some shit so, here we are but
yeah, so, that's a, that's the vampire

story, the vampire diary, if you will.

Jorri: It is the Vampire Diary, actually.

Ben: audio diary.

The vampire audio diary.

Emily: the Vampire Audio Diary.

Sadly, we do not get to see,
Vampire Christian Slater,

Jeremy: I do appreciate that Lestat
gets in the car and with him listening

to Louis talk and he's like, Oh.

Emily: I love that.

I know that's the best.

Like, that this ending of this movie

Jeremy: Even with Louis not there,
Lestat's like, Louis, you asshole.

Emily: Yeah, like, it

Ben: Oh

Emily: so

Ben: had to listen to
him whine for a night.

I had to deal with centuries of it.

Jorri: But he specifically
says, still whining, Louis.

Whining!

Not just whining, still whining.

Emily: Oh, Louis, still whining.

Like,

Ben: mean, that's why you
were attracted to him.

Jorri: I'm like, this is cinema, bitch.

Ben: in New Orleans.

Emily: good for him.

I mean, I will say this, like, I think
that this is the most acting that

Tom croon is like, it's like classic
acting that Tom Cruise has done,

Jorri: Like, theatrical.

Emily: yeah, like being most theatrical.

That's not just like, Hey,
I'm Jerry McGuire or I'm, you

Ben: Oh, definitely.

Like, this is truly Tom
Cruise playing a character.

Which he does not always do.

Emily: he was really cute and
legend with his like little little

thighs out and like running around
being like a little frog man.

I was really into that.

Ben: another reason why I like, love
Collateral is that it is, again, a rare

case where he is playing a character.

Jeremy: Yeah, that and taps
I think is the other big one,

Ben: I mean, you know, you look at Top
Gun, your Mission Impossibles, your,

even like movies that I think are
amazing movies like Edge of Tomorrow.

He is very much just a Tom Cruise type.

Emily: Yeah.

Ben: Fuckin awesome movie
though, Edge of Tomorrow.

Ugh, Emily Blunt fuckin kills it.

Jorri: I mean, I think this just points to
how Tom Cruise should play more villains.

I mean, at this point, he's just gonna
keep doing Mission Impossible until he

plots it, so like, it is what it is,
but, but like, if he was still interested

in actually like, playing characters as
opposed to just doing stunts in an action

movie that he's done a million times,
which I mean, look, like, good for him,

like, it looks amazing, like, he's doing
a great job, especially at his age, like,

I'm not, I'm not trying to poo poo that,
but when it comes to like, Back when

he wanted to do, like, real movies and
explore characters and do real, like,

actual films, like, I feel like he was
so good whenever he was the villain.

And, we never got, like,
enough of that from him.

Ben: I feel like you can tell which

actors.

Emily: Gatorade, like the Scientology
Gatorade, which is really sad

because like he could be like
a Nicolas Cage, like he could

be out there fucking freaky.

Ben: like you can tell which actors
have like their own team of writers

that come aboard every movie and
just like rewrite the dialogue to

make it fit like the actors brand,

Emily: Yeah,

Ben: Very, you know, like the way
every Kevin Hart or Ryan Reynolds

character fits the overall Kevin
Hart or Ryan Reynolds brand.

Versus, again, Nicolas Cage where like,
yeah dude, you just fuckin show up on set,

get the script, and you fuckin let it rip.

Emily: yeah.

Scream everything.

Most acting.

Wow.

Ben: but again, too much credit, like the
performance you're getting in Mandy is

not, the performance you're getting in
The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent.

Emily: but you are getting
a performance in Mandy.

Ben: are getting, yeah, but you're not
getting, look, like, You know you'll

get a Nicolas Cage performance, but no
two Nicolas Cage performances are alike.

Emily: Yeah.

Even in fucking One Night at Willy's
or whatever the fuck that movie was.

Ben: Is that the prequel
to Five Nights at Freddy's?

Emily: That's the one that's

Jeremy: the knockoff five net at Freddy's

Emily: which

Jorri: one thing, Wonderland.

Ben: Which is, I hear, uh,

Emily: Willy's Wonderland, yes.

Ben: oh yes.

Emily: I mean, it is

One Night

Jorri: was it, One Night at Willy's?

What was that?

Emily: Yeah, that's, I mean, that's
what I call it, because that's what it

Jorri: No, I love that.

That's, it might as well

Ben: I mean, look, it's probably a better
adaptation so long as the main character

doesn't spend half the movie asleep.

Emily: He, have you
seen Willy's Wonderland?

Ben: No, but I hear it's good.

Emily: I recommend Willy's Wonderland.

He is, he has no lines.

He is a completely silent
character in the film.

And He's kind of like a
weird, like, angel kind of

Ben: mean, that is how I would
describe Nicolas Cage in real life.

Emily: Yeah, like, he's, he's, he is
an angel fallen, like, not in the movie

City of Angels, like, he himself is
just, that's what his character is.

And then there's like some other character
shit, it's all very cartoony and dumb and

great and, you know, it's a horror movie.

And then he just comes in and Nicolas
cages all over everything and he's

like, it's Cajun time, but he doesn't
say anything, so it's even better.

Ben: I really hope an
unbearable way to mask a talent.

He says it's Cajun time.

Emily: haven't seen that
movie yet, but I really,

Ben: I hope he says it's Morbin time!

Emily: I have not seen that movie,
but the GIF set of what's his name?

Ben: Pedro Pascal?

Emily: Pedro Pascal uh, looking at
Nicolas Cage has, really, like, done some

heavy lifting in terms of communicating
the kind of situations I find myself

in when I'm showing people movies.

Ben: I get that.

Emily: Yeah, so

Ben: Yup.

Emily: let's talk about this movie.

Is it gay enough?

Ben: No!

I mean, like, it's very gay, but
again, my first exposure was the

show where they had full on, man on
man sex while floating in the air.

Emily: I really, I'm really happy that
they kept the floating thing, like,

cause that's, when, when Louis gets
kissed by Lestat in this film, they

do float, but like, they, they keep
floating, like, they're going up at the

top of the ship.

Ben: two men who are naked.

Together, floating, and
fucking and being vampires.

Emily: And, hell yeah.

For 1994, though,

Ben: It's very

gay.

Emily: pretty fucking gay.

Yeah.

Ben: the AIDS crisis, with some of the
biggest star with, really, honestly,

two of the biggest stars in the world
at the time, being, and honestly, two

of the biggest stars today, still being
just beyond homoerotic with one another.

The amount

Jorri: it's, super gay, but there's still
that because they never actually kiss or

anything, there's that bit of plausible
deniability, so I feel like maybe back

then someone might get caught by their
older brother watching this and be like,

what is this gay shit you're watching?

And the person be like, no,
no, no, they're just vampires.

You know what I mean?

There's like the plausible deniability
of, yeah, we all know it's super gay,

but like, oh, there's never actually a

Ben: I love that, I love
that plausible deniability,

Jorri: that, it's vampires,
vampires are always

Ben: He's not gay, he just
likes musical theater.

Jeremy: Mm hmm,

Ben: They're not gay, that's a, that's a

Jorri: say plausible,

Ben: that's a, they're just vampire.

Jorri: When I say plausible, I mean
the tiniest bit of plausibility.

Ben: They're European whores,
this is how they act in Europe.

Emily: Yeah.

So I also will say that there is an
interesting context to sexuality in the

movie where all of this, the sexual action
on screen is bloodsucking and those dudes

do a lot of bloodsucking on each other.

Like there was a lot of
bloodsucking on each other.

There's very little mouth to mouth
and even when the, when they're

feeding on the sex workers.

There's also very little mouth to mouth.

It's all, like, them biting their
cheek and their neck and their nipple

because they want the, the, the blood.

Jeremy: Louis and that one woman at
the Tavern toward the beginning where

he bites her mouth, I guess and

like you get a little blood trickle there.

It's

Ben: thank you for reminding
Lestat sucks out the blood

through a titty, through a dress.

But he bites through the dress
to get at that titty blood.

Emily: Yeah.

Even though we got tits everywhere
else, but I guess we can't do mouth

on tit because, it's a movie about.

Yeah.

Ben: like it crosses a lot.

I mean, not just for the actor's sake.

I I agree with that.

Emily: yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jorri: Also, for, for what it's worth, my
recollection of in the books, canonically,

Anne Rice vampires don't have sex.

That the, the like, act of feeding
is kind of like the sexual act

for them and like is orgasmic.

So the new AMC series, that's
actually a bit in contrast because

Ben: oh, that's a very, that's a
very, is because they, they fuck

Emily: Yeah, they

Jorri: Yeah,

Ben: those vampires.

Those

vampires, fuck the most glorious
moment of the whole first season

and the single most lestat moment is
Lestat proposing an open relationship.

And then immediately regretting
it, like, three seconds later.

Once Louis realizes that means he
can also sleep with other people.

Just the immediate look, just
the way Lestat's face immediately

follows it, is this look of like,
Shit, I did not plan this far ahead.

Jorri: play to myself.

Emily: Yeah, Lestat does play himself

Ben: hoisted by his own slutty petard.

Emily: Yes, if only he
could hoist himself.

Ben: Wow.

Emily: Uh, you can't bite yourself as a

Ben: Look, we all have to hoist
ourselves from time to time.

Emily: Yeah, I think that's
another thing is that I don't think

vampires can like, masturbate.

Which, that's

Ben: That explains all
them fuckin theater fuckos.

Emily: And Louis being as sad as he is.

Ben: Uh, yeah.

Emily: Yeah,

Ben: I'm like, if someone told me, you
get to live forever, but no sunlight,

no garlic, and you can't fuckin no more.

Jorri: take the death

Emily: yeah,

well, I'm, I won't miss the fucking,
but like, the garlic, I will miss.

Like as, as an ace person, I'm but
that was one of the thing about the,

one of the things about the movie that
was in the whole vampire idea that I

really attach myself to is, the fact
that there was an analog for physical

intimacy that wasn't sexual intercourse.

And of course now in film, and
we're starting to catch up with

what actually counts as intercourse
and intimacy for people that it

is more than that act, right?

And, when I played within the worlds
of particular White Wolf games, There

was an interesting definition that
came from the Anne Rice canon, where

a lot of the vampires did not, were
only sexual in terms of the fact

that they knew that their bite had
a sort of orgasmic effect on people.

And, sadly, that didn't really translate
into a lot of people playing the game.

They, they were still horny as fuck.

But, they're having that sort of alternate
version and, talking about intimacy in

a different way for me was, was a cool
thing because, yeah, it was very sensual.

It didn't involve penetration
in the, in the vagina region,

like, at least in this film.

But I also saw the film Nadia and
that's a different situation, but

the penetration is, is metaphorical.

And, you know, and also, like, the
horror element of it, as somebody

who was struggling with the amount of
sexuality that was sort of labeled on

me at the time as a young, like, AFAB
person growing up it always, movies that

always had this kind of horror element
of penetration kind of appealed to

me, especially as a teenager, because
everybody made a huge deal about it.

But it was huge taboo, and at that time,
I, like, really was over it, and, you

know, over everyone talking about sex
and fucking, and then having, like, this

other version of that kind of helped me
understand it a little bit better, even

though it was, like, in a horror context.

And that is not to say that it was
negative, but it sort of accepted

the taboo, you know, it sort of,
I should say addressed the taboo,

and made it a little bit more more
complex than, oh, we just don't talk

about it, if that makes any sense.

Like there was a little bit more
of an elaborate understanding of

physical intimacy because of the
vampire, the whole vampire context

of like, you're sharing your fluids.

And it is, you know, it comes with a
price, which is like crazy feelings.

And that's sort of how the,
the situation goes down with

Louis at least in this film.

I'm pretty sure that getting vampired
is a little bit more intense than, um,

losing your virginity, but you know,
a lot of people make a big deal out of

losing your virginity, at least at the
time that this movie was coming out.

Ben: Yeah, I mean, it's interesting
that they do describe it as

like, when your body dies.

There's like, it really plays into
death, rebirth, virginity angles.

Emily: and the fact that they
have a child vampire and they talk

about the weird, like, dichotomy
of violence versus sexuality.

Ben: A child vampire who they
establish is also, as a child,

incapable of creating new vampires,

like she can't create, like, and
again, so it's like, even within the

realm of being a vampire, Claudia is
someone who can never reach maturity,

even in her vampire powers.

Emily: Because she doesn't
have enough blood in her.

She's so she's smaller than, like, a

Ben: can't fit as much blood, yeah!

You need to be able to pack it,
like, like, if you prick a vampire,

oh my god, it's like a blood gusher,
but she's so tiny, she like, she

can't get that much blood in her.

Emily: yeah.

Ben: It's like they, that's why they
don't have a digestive tract, it's just

more blood, it's just like, more blood.

Emily: it's all just blood in there.

It's just

like, everything's

Ben: it's just

Emily: like, blood shaped.

Ben: it's just a big blood
filled haggis water balloon.

Emily: Yes.

I mean, that is also what

what I learned from the Vampire of
the Masquerade, like, canon that was

based off like, so much of that is

Ben: Is it?

Cause I'm just fucking around.

Emily: No, it absolutely is.

Ben: What?

Emily: vampires are
just Big blood balloons.

This is how it works.

And this is based on the Van Rice thing.

Vampires are big blood balloons.

In order for them to do anything, like,
sexual in terms of their genitalia,

they have to use their blood power
to, like, pretend and to, like,

get hard or whatever, or, like, You

Ben: That is all Lestat
would do all day long.

Emily: Yeah.

No, like they get their color.

Yeah.

And then they're just like,
and that's why you have to keep

drinking the blood because it's
just a big blood like balloon.

And also, that's another thing is

that

Ben: takes, if you have an erection,
for four hours or more as a challenge.

Emily: for real, but that's the other
thing about the vampires in this canon

Ben: Do they also cum blood?

I feel like that's how that has to work.

Yeah!

Emily: Every fluid of the body is
blood, snot, tears, cum, anything

that you can, like, process through a
hole in your, in your body is blood.

Jorri: Well, That's

like the new, um, the AMC series
that they cry blood and then

in the 1994 movie, they don't.

Emily: Yeah.

Cause

Ben: crying blood is the, oh, well,
he has that line where he's like,

oh, a vampire can cry once or twice a
lifetime, and I've decided to do it now,

in this dingy San Francisco apartment.

Jorri: So emo.

Ben: A vampire can.

I cry every night.

Emily: Yeah.

Jeremy: So many people choose to
do their one crying time in a dingy

apartment in San Francisco Honestly.

Ben: You know what?

Fair.

Emily: too soon, Jeremy.

Ben: That hits, yeah, you
Jeremy going for the jugular.

Emily: Yeah, so to speak.

Ben: Hey!

Emily: in the middle distance,
the fucking mad world.

Jeremy: Find it kind of funny.

Emily: I find it kind of

Jeremy: it kind of sad.

Emily: mean, that's

Jorri: Guy's done a
Donnie Darko episode yet,

Emily: Not yet.

Not yet.

Ben: my first experience with Donnie
Darko was Jorri showing it to me.

Emily: less.

Jorri: them to watch it with me.

Emily: Less.

Ben: forcing it, you know I'm down for all

that, for all them adventures.

Jorri: But that's for another day.

Emily: Yes.

Jorri: Still talking about Vampire's
Day, not Giant Bunnies, yet.

Ben: God, how have we never
gotten Vampire Jake Gyllenhaal?

Emily: Right?

I was just thinking

Jorri: I never even thought
of that till you just said it.

Ugh, what a tragedy.

Emily: When?

How's he looking these days?

Ben: Fantastic!

Emily: I'm sure he is.

Jorri: Eternal!

You

Ben: He's Jake Gyllenhaal.

Jorri: looks, unfortunately,
Academy Award less.

Which, I don't know how that's still
the case after Nightcrawler, but

Ben: Oh my god, right?

Aw, so good.

Aw, fuckin Nightcrawler, so good!

Emily: maybe the

Ben: Russo, motherfucker!

Jorri: for Jake!

Emily: listen.

Maybe the Academy was confused
because he wasn't blue.

Ben: The amount of, the, the problems that
franchise, the X Men franchise has had, it

has been a major problem for, across many
movies, just actors unwilling to be blue.

Jorri: As a very specific thing.

Ben: Yeah, well no, Alan Cumming left
because he did one movie as Nightcrawler,

he was like, not doing that again.

Fuck it, and like, Jennifer Lawrence
and Nicholas Hoult was like, we're

not being blue, it's like, but
your character's whole deal is that

you're stuck as blue, and they're
like, well, we're just not going to.

The only actor, the only actor in
that whole franchise who was ever

like, yeah, fuckin blew me up,
was like, and did it with a smile,

was Rebecca Romijn, who remains

Emily: she also,

Ben: Una Chin Riley, number one.

Goddamn real one.

Emily: but she could also
like, change into shit.

Like, she was a stuck as blue.

She could be like, whatever.

Ben: good, but we but aside from one
scene in 3D and a cameo in first class,

we never got non blue Rebecca Romijn.

Emily: That's

Ben: Whereas Jennifer Lawrence's
Mystique is constantly going, I'm

gonna be not blue Jennifer Lawrence.

OG Mystique was either Mystique
or impersonating Ted Cruz.

Emily: So how do we feel about this
movie's representation of LGBTQIA plus?

Ben: I mean, Antonio Banderas alone
inspired Harvey Guillen, so for that

alone, I'm like, fuckin good on ya, movie.

You inspired a true queer icon.

Emily: it was very inspiring in that way.

Ben: And yes, fun fact, that photo of
Little tiny Guillermo dressed as Armand

in the opening credits of what we do
in the shows is a real is one of Harvey

Guillen's real childhood Halloween photos.

Emily: good.

I didn't know that.

That's blessed.

That's, that's holy blessed information.

so yeah, I think this
movie is good for that.

Ben: Again, for 94, this movie
is just yeah, it's got that 90s,

like, it's not quite textual, but
damn, the subtext, I mean The face

fondling, the handsomeness, it's,
it's the San Francisco ness of it all.

Jorri: Well, but also there's the whole
storyline of like a gay couple parenting.

And when had we seen that, that
much before then, you know?

Emily: yeah, and it's, I think
it's also clear in this case that

they're like, the, the vampire thing
in this movie kind of sidesteps

the actual representation issues.

Like, if we were going to see
this, this, I feel like the

characters are rich enough.

their preferences, their, sexual
identity has very little to do with

the kind of people they are, they're
vampires, and they're, well, we all

know this, there's no such thing as
a straight vampire, but yeah, facts.

If a vampire says that they're
straight, they are the father of lies.

Ben: I mean, the Cullens, well, no, we're
not getting into the Cullens this episode.

Jorri: Oy vey.

True,

Emily: I actually wasn't here last
week for the, for the Twilight.

I don't think I will ever see Twilight,
so it doesn't really exist for me.

Ben: I want to say, like, they're
straight, but I'm like, eh, they're,

I guess vampires can be closeted.

Emily: yeah, and I

Jeremy: Halfened,

Emily: Coffin,

Ben: ha!

Emily: Interred.

I don't know about that.

Ben: might actually have to use
that pun for an upcoming project.

Emily: Do it.

Do it.

Yeah, so I think that I think it's
not bad and I think it's, it's

definitely not as like, problematic
as it would if it was trying to be.

At that time, more, more explicit or
like trying to be representational

in any way, but it just by being
what it is, I think it was fine.

Ben: Yeah.

I think we've established this movie
on the topic of race has Uh, issue.

I mean, really, it's just a slave
Really, it's the whole slavery thing.

Jeremy: Yeah.

Ben: really sure how to put it there.

I mean, again, Armand does seem to have
been some pretty significant, Hispanic

representation in the horror space.

You know, this very clearly Hispanic
vampire certainly opens up representation.

As much as from Spain, Antonio Banderas
can be Hispanic representation.

Emily: Yeah.

Jeremy: Yeah.

At least he is playing somebody
who is from Spain in this and not

Antonio Bendera playing somebody
who is from Mexico, which will

be the second half of his career.

Ben: but I love Mask of Zorro.

Jeremy: yeah, and I love, uh, El Mariachi,
well, the Yale Mariachi films, but

Ben: Yes, that's right, he does play a
Spanish vampire in this, so it works.

Jeremy: Yeah, I think T, I, the
representation, I mean, from a, from a

race and cultural standpoint, it is bad.

Like, it is wholly avoidable, but Anne
Rice doesn't seem to want to avoid it.

He, she seems to want to have him be a
slave master in a plantation and have

him have what definitely seems like, At
least a one sided romantic relationship

with with one of his slaves, which

Ben: Okay, the slaves aren't
upset about being slaves.

They're just slaves that their
master seems all weird and

vampire y and kind of gay.

Jeremy: Yeah, there's very much this very
uncomfortable, like, Oh, you're not our

good master anymore, you've been acting
weird lately, and it's like, oh, guys.

In the 90s, really?

By that point?

Emily: They,

Ben: And

Jeremy: We got a Zippity Doodah of this

Ben: this is something where I

do gotta, I gotta bring up the, the
series again that makes some pretty

significant departures to Louis in this
regard, specifically where Louis in the

show is a black man and Which is, and
again, that is not just some colorblind

casting that is hugely important to who
he is in the character and how it, and,

you know, how it may relate and how it
relates to him and his, his, how he feels

about his vampirism in relation to that.

It is central to the character
and they also change, they,

I believe they changed it.

So instead of 1791, I believe it's

in.

Okay.

Yeah.

I forget if it was like

Jorri: I think 1910.

Ben: Yeah, right, yeah, so he's no longer
a slave owner now, he's a brothel owner,

but again, it's not treated as like,
oh, but he's one of the good brothel

owners, like, it is still a brothel.

The way that he is necessarily
preying on people's bodies regardless

of the vampirism, again, becomes a
core part of the theme and his story

and ties into his self loathing.

Again, like, I really like this movie,
but again, and this is the problem with

having an eight hour series that covered
the first hour of this movie, is that

everything does feel kind of rushed, where
it's like, where Louis's loathing does

kinda come across as just, like, whiny
and self indulgent, whereas the true

whereas the show has so much more time
to show Louis truly grappling with moral

complexities and not shying away from all
the aspects in his life that drive his

self loathing, not just being a vampire.

Emily: Yeah, and I, I mean, I feel
like that is what is attempting to,

what we're attempting to address by
we, I mean, Anne Rice with Louis's

position as a slave owner, and I think
that brings us to the class argument.

I think that there's a lot going on
here in talking about class with the

indulgence and how Louis and Lestat
are always feeding on the lesser

fortune or, you know, the lesser
classes, there is definitely the,

Ben: And that one lady's poodles.

Emily: Which is, like, First of all,
Louis, like, what do you think is

gonna happen, like, oh, you, you
can't, feed on this, like, shitty lady.

Like, Lissette is basically
like, here is a lady that it.

Isn't doing anything for
she's a shitty rich person.

She's like, weird and, she
doesn't care about humans.

She probably, you know, abuses people
and Louis's like, I'd rather eat her

dogs her adorable little poodles.

Like,

Jorri: He's also very
newly a vampire though.

Emily: yeah,

Jorri: Isn't this like literally
their first outing or something?

They're, like, very new.

Emily: it's, I think it's not quite there.

I think at this point.

because they, they had a couple of the
sex workers in the during the like,

weird play that they were watching.

But I, I feel like the way
that this was framed Lysadda's

trying to sort of get Louis to,

Jorri: Right.

Emily: to feed completely
and kill somebody.

And so he's like, okay, if you, if
you feel sorry for these people,

for the less fortunate, you haven't
released your slaves yet, which is,

we're not gonna talk about that.

But oops, I'm gonna like basically hand
to you this person, this despicable person

on a silver platter and be like, huh?

we're killing indiscriminately.

Like, God, maybe you wanna
do something punitive.

Maybe that'll be, maybe that'll work.

And he's like, no dogs.

And as a, point of trying to
sympathize with this character

doesn't quite work out.

But I think that that's sort of
the point because, he gets so

desperate that he eats a child.

Ben: Yeah.

Jorri: bad at being a vampire.

He's

Emily: no, he is

Ben: He I mean, he

Jorri: not a very good vampire.

Ben: I mean, I love that he's
just going around being like to

vampires being like, is God real?

And they all go like, I don't
know, man, probably not.

Emily: Yeah, yeah, they're like,
I don't, I just, if he ever

talked to anybody, it's not us.

Ben: Right?

Like, I love the I love the vibe.

It's just like, damn, dude, the
whole point of being an immortal

is that we don't got to find out.

Emily: Yeah.

Um,

Ben: I mean, there is just the sense
that I get like, and I hate to be rushed

because again, it is a two hour movie.

It has a lot of ground to cover, but
just like the instantaneousness that

with which Lestat and then Armand, yeah.

Like, fall in love with Louis, like, I
can't also think it's like, and again,

because all we're really given is just
like, damn, y'all just, y'all just love

these sad white boys, like, y'all just
like some prototype Zendaya's up in here.

Jorri: Guilty.

Emily: I mean, we're
all we are all guilty of

falling for the pathetic,
yeah, the pathetic man.

It is, it is a classic.

It is,

Ben: pathetic man with the amazing hair,

Emily: yes, pathetic
man with amazing hair.

I played Final Fantasy 7.

and that is, I

Ben: which is a modern reference again.

Emily: yes.

Do you think Louis played Final Fantasy 7?

Or do you think it was
too triggering for him?

Ben: Ooh,

Emily: Because you know
he likes video games.

Because

Ben: I'm just, I'm just imagining him
with like, that sad trio, that sad

expression, the poetic speech, like the
slow contemplated talk, but now he's just

talking about like, the death of Aerith.

Emily: Yeah,

Jorri: I

Jeremy: what?

Lestat loves some fuckin
Sephiroth, though.

Emily: oh

Ben: my god, yeah.

Emily: that's what I'm saying, is

Jeremy: Lestat is like, this
guy knows where it's at.

This guy, great fashion

Ben: Lestat is putting so many
hours into Grand Theft Auto Online.

Jorri: plays The Sims!

Are you kidding?

Lestat

Emily: Lestat plays The

Jorri: loves The Sims.

Emily: but I think that if Lestat,
if this movie was written now,

you know where Lestat would be?

He wouldn't be a rockstar, he'd be at
conventions, and he'd just be like,

Ben: Lestat has absolutely
cosplayed Vampire Hunter D.

Emily: oh my god, he's, he has
cosplayed and he has had every kind

of weeaboo for dinner, for real.

Ben: Oh, God, he would be,
oh, yeah, no, he's just

Emily: It's like

Ben: I feel like the problem
with Lestat in conventions would

be, like, the lack of bathing.

Emily: I mean, maybe he likes the smell.

He doesn't like

Jeremy: He can go hunting based
on the cosplay and be like, I

just, I just really feel
like an anime character

Ben: Like, the way he, the way that he
describes, like, oh, he likes the young

girl first, and then he goes for, like,
the, the mother, I'm just imagining,

like, Louis being, like, as he, like,
he stalks the convention, like, he,

he likes to start out with a Pokemon
Gen 1 er, before following up with,

Emily: Hatsune Miku.

I think he starts with
Hatsune Miku, because those

Ben: a Deadpool cos a Deadpool
cosplayer as an Amebush, and someone

dressed up and fit, and a Fate
Stay Night enthusiast for dessert.

Thanks.

Emily: I feel like he does a, he does
a Genshin Impact cosplayer for dessert.

Because that has, like, all
of the, it's like, there's so

much frosting on that cake.

Anyway, I don't, I don't want to, anyway,

Ben: with the, convention
with the vampire.

Emily: oh, yeah, interview
panel with the vampire,

Ben: No, Lestat is going around
just eating it up, and then

literally is just sad and forlorn
behind an artist's alley table.

Jeremy: Lestat would
fucking love Dragon Kahn.

Emily: Oh my

Ben: Oh my god,

yeah?

Emily: Louis is like selling poetry zines.

They're all like self, like they're
all handmade, but like, yeah,

Ben: he can't sell

Emily: it.

Yeah, he can't sell anything
because he doesn't do fan art.

Oh my god,

Ben: Lestat, Lestat founded Dragon Kahn.

Emily: yeah, it was, god,
can you even imagine?

Oh my god.

So,

Jeremy: Armand is doing AI art now.

Emily: God.

Jorri: Oh my god.

Ben: Stop!

Fucking no!

Stop!

Emily: TMTM, this is our
alternative universe.

Jorri: See, I was gonna say
that Lestat has an OnlyFans.

Ben: Oh,

Jorri: 100%.

Ben: Well, the only thing that
prevents it is that all the photos

just end up, like, being, like, he
can't appear in any of the photos.

Emily: well, since digital cameras
don't use silver nitrate, I

Ben: Ah, that's true.

Emily: works.

I think it works.

that's why

Jeremy: They definitely appear in
mirrors in this movie, just because Neil

Jordan likes doing shots in mirrors.

Ben: Louis definitely owns, like, an
Oculus Rift so he can VR watch sunrises.

Emily: Oh yeah.

God.

Anyway, this is,

Ben: Which just makes him an extra loser
for having a fucking Apple Vision Pro.

Oh.

Emily: he's gotten all of like the really,
really just non relevant game systems.

Like, he got an Atari
Dragoire because he could.

Like, that was his vampire, like, crisis.

Ben: he's being grounded, so he just
keeps up with all the gadgets, but he's

had his identity stolen three times.

Emily: Yeah.

And then he just lets it happen
because he's like, well, if they,

if now they don't have to track me
anymore, now I can be somebody else.

He doesn't have to worry about
burning his house down anymore.

Jeremy: Louis's got a Steam Deck, but
like, fucking Lestat has an Xbox.

Like,

Ben: Yeah, like, Louis
No, this is what it is.

Louis's got a Steam Deck, and Lestat is
starting a crypto pump and dump scheme.

Emily: Jesus Christ.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

Jeremy: Lestat's doing

Emily: I was gonna, I just
want everyone to know that I

Ben: Lestat was at Firefest.

It

Emily: helped produce Firefest.

Ben: was him and Ja Rule.

You can't see in the photos,
because they used film.

Emily: yeah, Lestat was there,
but like, he was, he was

sort of the shadow producer.

He's like, here, I'll be your benefactor.

We don't talk about Mr.

Benefactor.

Mr.

Macintosh.

I was gonna make a joke about nerds
and how you can't, like, there's candy,

but then there are, like, conventions.

There's something there.

If someone else who's a
better writer than me,

Ben: We'll workshop it.

Emily: Yeah, we'll
workshop that one later.

So we talked about clap.

Jeremy: and like, paying for things
to be produced just so he can

cancel them, just to piss Louis off.

Emily: Yes,

Ben: I had to explain, I had to explain
this to my grandma, so I used the

Lumberyard Terms, which is the only
term my family can accept anything in.

But the best way I explained it was,
imagine we bought 50 windows, and then

instead of selling them to builders,
we just dumped them in the trash?

And then went to the government
and went, hey, can you give us

the money we would have made for
actually selling the 50 windows?

Emily: Yeah.

Ben: they do!

Emily: Yeah.

And then people can, like, talk
about fucking welfare queens and

shit.

Yeah, this is, shit's up, y'all.

Ben: Capitalism.

Emily: Capitalism

Ben: The real vampire!

brought it back.

around!

Full circle!

Emily: Yeah.

So we talked about race.

We talked about class.

We talked about,

Ben: Is the Is Interview with the Vampire
Feminist Is Anne Rice feminist, y'all?

Jeremy: We don't, we literally
just don't have the time, like,

to

unpack that

Ben: Do Do we want Do we Like,
that That's a two parter episode,

Emily: Yeah.

Claudia, Claudia's whole deal.

I definitely like, that's a
whole thing that needs to be

Ben: That's Ooh, we need to
bring, like, developmental

psychologists into, for that episode.

Jorri: I was gonna say, like,
props for having Claudia as a

character that's really unusual.

Emily: Yeah.

Jorri: Like, I feel like you really
don't see many characters, I mean,

it's obviously circumstantial,

Ben: I feel like the psych now I
feel like the psychotic immortal

little girl is kind of a trope.

Emily: Thank you,

Ben: Like, hell, it's a concept I
explored in, uh, Heavenly Blues.

Go check that out if you haven't
picked up Heavenly Blues.

You can find you can purchase that online.

So, like, I'm guilty of, diving into that
trope, but I I feel like this really had

to have been, like, the codifier for it.

Jorri: Oh yeah, and I'm thinking
especially in terms of the physical

development or lack thereof aspect of
it, of like, The, the kind there's this

interesting thing because many women
develop, it's kind of the opposite.

Many of us have this experience of
developing when we're physically

developing when we're too young to
kind of understand what to do with it.

And before we have that kind
of like mental maturity.

And we're already dealing with, like,
our bodies changing, and we kinda,

we don't know how to, we can't really
grasp it, and the, and the gravity of

it, and to have this character, who's
the opposite, where she's rapidly,

mentally aging and maturing, and yet
her body remains the same, is, it just

feels like it's very ripe, particularly
for, like, a female character, because

it kind of, like, subverts, what I
feel like a lot of women, girls and

women have experienced in real life.

I don't know, there's just, there's
something there that's It's kind of

an interesting aspect because it's not
just the like, it's not just the trope

of like, psychotic killer child, which
like, yeah, we've seen, you know, it's

fun, but we've seen it many times, but
this feels like something more human

about it because if she's, this immortal
creature, but what she wants to be is

human, and you have both Claudia and
Louis Kind of grappling with this, that

they want to hold on to their humanity,
that they want to still be human, whereas

someone like Lestat is just so far beyond
that, he's, in the words of Dio, he was

rejected as humanity, long time ago.

But you have like, Louis and
Claudia kind of in different ways,

Ben: God, Lestat

Jorri: still

Ben: Dio would be such friends.

Jorri: Friends, they would be
bitter enemies, oh my god, they'd

hate each other, they'd be at
each other's throats, literally.

Ben: Well, no, they would either
be, they would have either fucked

once and then hate each other, or
they would just be like the, like,

bitten even gayer, like, Sattler and
Waldorf, just like, being the cattiest

fucking bitches to, like, everybody.

Emily: I think they would, I think
that it would take a few centuries for

them to get to the Statler Waldorf.

I think more than a few centuries
because there's a lot there.

Jorri: Yeah,

you know, the kind of female aspect of
it, and, and, I don't know, like I just,

I, I see something really interesting
in Claudia's deal as a kind of like

female character whose mental and
physical maturity are out of step with

each other in a way that kind of like
subverts what you often see in real life.

Emily: I totally agree with that because
with, there's so many ways that her

whole character can be so much creepier.

I think if there were other women in
the movie, it would be pretty feminist.

I don't think it's about feminism though.

And I think the fact that she's
a child makes it a little bit,

less about women's issues.

Like, it has nothing to do with
the feminist narrative and the,

feminist angle as it has to do with
discussing identity issues in a

little bit, like, more pangender way.

Jorri: Well, on the other hand,
though, I mean, you have this, Claudia

as a character is, she's kind of,
she's manipulated for, I wouldn't say

pleasure, but like, I mean, if anything,
it's more like playing house, but

like, the, the two older male characters
manipulate her, and her entire life is

bound to them, and their life choices,
and like, literally her life is bound to

theirs, so I feel like there is, though,
kind of this feminist aspect to it.

of it where it's like her, the
fact that she necessarily is

controlled by these like older men
who put her in this situation that

she really had no choice over.

She was so young when it happened and
her kind of like struggling to break

free from that situation and kind of like
reclaim her own identity and her own life.

So I think even though she's a child
and there's definitely the, like,

gender, gender thing going on and gender
identification themes, I think there is

also the kind of, like, the, the feminist
themes of kind of what a woman or a girl's

role is, especially in terms of, like,
how, how men see us that way or how men

see women that way and the roles that
they kind of force onto women because

she's now this, like, doll like daughter.

to them.

And she even says to Lestat all the
time, like, I'm not, I'm not just a doll.

I can't just sit here and be like, you're
a cute little, like, doll like daughter.

That's not me.

Emily: that's a really,
that's a fantastic point.

And, looking back on my recap, when
I say like, she's reasonably pissed

off, because of her lack of agency
that is a very, very good point.

And I think it would, like, if we learned
more about her, if we had more time

with her, But I think that there's,
there is enough time with her that

that's a lot comes across with her.

And I think that's also has to do
with the grace and the consideration

that is put into that character.

So, yeah, that's, that's a really good,
point that, makes that character as

elaborate and thought out as she is.

And so in that way, yeah, I would
say that that aspect is feminist and

that talks about feminism, in a way.

Mental health,

Jorri: Oof.

Ben: oof.

Jorri: Oof.

Emily: Melody,

Jorri: Page one, I'm suicidal.

Emily: yeah,

Ben: you know, the, uh, the

Jeremy: was suicidal, but I
got better by loving forever.

Ben: I mean, you can kind
of call this the, the mopey

adventures of Louis de Pontillac.

Like,

Emily: yeah.

And it is, I mean, his, his struggle
does get a lot of consideration, but,

At the same time, everybody is kind of
dismissing him and he is depicted as

being really, like, it's hard to really,
his inaction in a lot of cases is,

Ben: He's either being completely passive
or he's setting everything on fire.

Those are his only two modes.

Jorri: modes, yeah.

Emily: And if that was discussed
at all, then I think we would be

in a different place, but I think
right now, it's very superficial.

Ben: Yeah.

Jorri: not to even mention, like,
obviously the whole dynamic of,

like, Lestat and Louis is an abusive,
romantic relationship where one is,

you know, a narcissistic piece of shit.

And the other one is abuse, like that's,
that's heavily a theme which like,

I know we've joked a lot about but I
guess we haven't actually like gotten

into the meat of that topic as like a
kind of like serious allegory going on.

Ben: yeah.

I mean, that is what it is, is that
it is, you're absolutely right.

That is the core of the movie is
this toxic abusive relationship

between Louis and Lestat.

And I think where the movie kind of
a little bit loses sight of that is

that is that Lestat does disappear
pretty much halfway through.

And we then spend an hour
on a not Lestat storyline.

And, and again, and again, and this is
where the fact that, and again, as much as

the themes are there and are present, it
is that little bit of the, like, that it's

not an explicit romantic relationship.

That just like, not that the themes
aren't there, but I feel like it

makes it just a little bit easier to
just kind of like, for the viewer to

kind of take their eye off the ball a
little bit in regards to those themes.

Not that they're not there, because
they are, and it's absolutely

what the movie is still exploring.

Emily: Yes and there's not a lot of
time, like, spent with, I mean, there's,

there's so much time in the movie that
is spent with Lysade and Louis, but

he kind of just solves it by Claudia
killing him, and then he comes back and

then he sets them on fire, like he does,
like he does with everything, he's just

like, fuck, and then sets them on fire,

Jeremy: Look, sometimes you
just have to set your ex on

fire and move to Europe, okay?

That's,

Emily: That, I

Ben: We've all been there!

Jeremy: that's how you get over it.

Emily: yeah, and good for him, but, like,
there's just only so much time that he

has, that we have on screen for him to
deal with that, and you can tell that

he's like, he's just the whole time.

He's like, I don't know.

I just,

Jeremy: I think by the time he has
time to To process it, he should be

processing the fact that he's accidentally
burned down all of New Orleans,

Emily: yeah,

Jorri: Accidentally.

Jeremy: which is a bigger problem,
it's, yeah, and, and setting his ex

boyfriend on fire, he has set all of
New Orleans on fire So I, I guess the

big question is, do we recommend this?

Should people, people go watch
Interview with a Vampire?

Ben: Oh, definitely.

Emily: absolutely.

Jorri: 100%.

That's

Ben: No, this, this is definitely
a recommendation for sure.

And then after that, I
would watch the AMC series.

Jorri: Agreed.

Or read the book.

Read the book, watch the movie, watch the

series.

Bang it all out.

Queen of the Damned?

Optional,

Ben: Is there, is there a video game?

Can you play the interview
with the vampire video

game?

Jorri: kill that video game.

Oh my god.

I wish.

Is there?

Ben: I, I, I wanted to be like a 16
bit side scroller where you got, like,

Emily: no, Interview with a
vampire has to be a visual novel

Jorri: Oooh.

Emily: Because it is about dealing
with social shit, and then like,

looking at the consequences of your
actions, and like, dealing with like,

do you decide to burn down your house?

Oh, looks like you do,

Ben: I'm in favor of a double dra
I'm in favor of a double dragon style

side scroller beat em up where it's
like NINJA VAMPIRES KIDNAP CLAUDIA.

ARE Louis AND LESTAT BAD
ENOUGH DUDES TO RESCUE CLAUDIA?

Jeremy: I think, like, you, scrolling
beat em up, but you spend the first

ten levels just attacking rats, um,

Emily: yeah, And

Ben: then, and then

another few levels only
attacking yourself.

Emily: like, fucking dark, like,

Jeremy: by

angst.

This is

Ben: If this was like a horror Louis's
sanity you'd have a sanity meter,

but it would never actually you'd
never actually be able to fill it up.

It would st It would start empty
and it would never go higher.

Emily: it would be like a numbness meter.

Like,

you'd have to, yeah.

I think the thing that is kind of
lost in terms of the humor of the

movie is that, like, Louis vampire
superpower is that he feels empathy.

Like, they do, they don't really say it.

But you know, Armand at some point is
like, you're a vampire with a human soul,

and you actually feel like human things.

And I think that's what makes
him so, like, juicy to all of the

other vampires, because they're
like, I want to hit, but eat?

But hit is eat?

Hit equals eat?

Question mark?

Period?

Like, you know, it confuses
them in a way that tells them.

And you know, I think that's an

Jeremy: that boy is
just sad enough to eat.

Emily: Boy is sad enough to

Jorri: I always say.

Emily: Yeah, as somebody who
appreciates characters with the heart

of a human and the body of a demon, I
appreciate that element in the story.

Ben: Uh, I mean, I've definitely been
singing the praises of the AMC show for

a long time, but if you want some more
vampireness where, you know, if you like

some of the funnier characters being
cunty to each other over the topness of

the vampireness, if you have not seen
what we do in the Shadows movie and

TV version really go check that out.

Emily: Yeah,

Jorri: So, I would say What's funny is, My
suggestion would be based on a different

thing that someone would like about
this film, that if you enjoy the kind

of like, mopey ness of the existential
crisis and these two eternal, immortal

beings kind of grappling with being
immortal and their feelings about it,

I would suggest Only Lovers Left Alive.

Because it's a different

Ben: Yep.

Jorri: It's definitely, it's a different
tone from Interview with the Vampire, but

it's still, at its core, it's about the
relationship between these two people,

these two vampires, and kind of how they
start seeing life the longer they live.

And it's also, I mean, it's like
beautiful, great music, I mean, obviously

gorgeous cast, very charismatic, you have
the one who's, who's super like mopey,

emo, kind of suicidal, and then you have
the one who's, Enjoying life and trying

to convince the other to enjoy it as well.

Um, so even though they have different
tones and kind of different things

going on, I think somebody who likes
1994's Interview with the Vampire would

definitely like Only Lovers Left Alive.

Emily: Totally.

Totally.

Like, I, now that you say that, the,
the, actually thematically and, like,

vibes wise, they are very similar,
there's, it's, the, the, Only Lovers

Left Alive is less of a classic romance
novel that feel, that the, the Interview

the Vampire feels like, but it does
feel like the memoirs of a vampire.

And in this case, a little bit
more, like, a little bit less

sexual, but still very intimate and

Jorri: It's very intimate, yes.

Emily: yeah yeah, that's a
good, that's a good point.

Jeremy, did you do one?

Mm

Jeremy: I'm gonna go against tradition
in my case and recommend a book

because, uh, Neil Jordan, who directs
this, is also a writer, uh, he's an

Irish writer, and I stumbled on one
of his books once upon a time when

I was, like, really into his movies.

It's called The Dream of a Beast, and,
it's about a guy who's Just like, just a

guy living in suburbia, living a normal,
uh, boring life, and finds that he is,

is or maybe just believes that he is,
it's difficult to tell, but is turning

into a, a horrible monster, his hearing
is changing, his skin is shedding,

things like that, and it's very like,
Is this happening or is this a feeling?

Is this a vibe that he, he has
that he's turning into a monster?

But like, it's a real has a lot of
interiority to it, has a lot of the

same sort of themes of interview,
uh, with the vampire, with a lot

more sort of like, panic in it.

This, you know, feeling of, being
something else and turning into

that thing and feeling monstrous.

But I think it's something, it seems
like Neil Jordan explores a lot.

both in, his writing and in films
and things that he chooses to direct

and including this and, the crying
game and other things like that.

He's, uh, he's definitely a guy
who's fascinated with monsters and

monstrous people and people who
feel like, people who feel like they

don't belong, like they don't fit.

Emily: I've recommended
Company of the Wolves.

I'm going to recommend it again because
it, you can actually see it, like,

it's actually interesting watching that
recently and then watching this and

now seeing the, the the similarities.

But there's so much
vampire stuff out there.

that is based on this, like,
that is directly based on this.

Now, I will say, if you want, this isn't
something that I would recommend for

quality, but rather for an index of the
time, of the influence of Anne Rice.

There is the, the Vampire the
Masquerade game by White Wolf, The

World of Darkness, did inspire a TV
show that was set in San Francisco.

It was called Kindred the
Embraced, or as we like to call

it, Kindred the Embarrassed.

And it is, very like it's a TV show.

And it's interesting, but I
think that it would be sort of an

interesting contrast to see where.

the influence of the interview, the
vampire has gone since a lot of people,

since pretty much everybody here has,
has recommended things of quality.

I might recommend one that is maybe
more of funny and it's, also kind

of cringe, but you know, what are
we, but not cringe and also free.

And that's, that was Louis's whole
problem is that he just, he needed

to accept that he was cringe too.

Ben: Embrace the cringe and the gayness.

Emily: Yes, embrace the cringe.

Jeremy: Yeah, I mean, if we're talking
about things that are terrible, we want

to recommend, uh, When I went to go find
Interview with the Vampire, I was sure

I had a copy of it on DVD, because it's
not currently streaming free anywhere.

in fact, what I had where it should be
was a copy of the film Innocent Blood.

Which, for anybody who hasn't seen
Innocent Blood, it is also a vampire movie

about, a very sexy French vampire lady.

And it's directed by John Landis.

and, uh, it is about her, falling in
love with a cop and taking on the mafia.

Ben: Oof, oof.

Jeremy: So the cop that she falls in
love with is played by Anthony LaPaglia,

and the mob boss is Chaz Palminatari.

If that gives you sort of an idea of
what this thing is, it's terrible,

but it's wonderful in the same way.

The main character, Marie, is played
by Anne Pirrod, if you've seen La

Femme Nikita, she's the, you know,
main character of La Femme Nikita.

It's It's wonderfully terrible.

Emily: and another vampire movie
that is wonderfully terrible that I

think is very important as a cultural
index because of all the memes.

And we also mentioned Nicolas Cage.

What is it called?

Jeremy: Vampire's Kiss?

Emily: Vampire's Kiss, thank you.

I was like, it's not In
the Shadow of the Vampire.

That's a different one.

Yes, Vampire's Kiss.

It is uncomfortable.

It has some really cool ideas.

And it is just the most Nicolas
Cage you'll ever meet in, in life.

and it is, not good, but it is wonderful.

Jeremy: Yeah, that is streaming, I
think, free on Prime Video right now.

And Tubi and Pluto, all those
wonderful places where things

stream free that are not good.

Um,

Emily: how, that's how you
know that this film is quality.

Jeremy: yeah.

Awesome.

That, brings us to the end here.

Jorri, can you, uh, let people know
where they can find you online?

Or anything else you want to plug?

Anything you want to recommend for people?

Jorri: Oh yeah, I mean, you can find
me on Instagram at Jorriroberts, j

o r r i r o b e r t s, Jorriroberts.

I'm also, like, a letterboxd
freak, if anyone wants to

connect with me on letterboxd.

my handle is horribleroberts, which
is actually, um, It comes from an

autocorrect of my first name that
my phone changed Jorri to Horrible.

So, so my letterboxd
handle is Horrible Roberts.

So those are pretty much the two
places where you can find me.

And yeah, I mean, this was so much fun.

Thank you so much for having me on.

Emily: Thank you for being here.

It was wonderful to talk
to you about this movie

Jeremy: Yeah, absolutely.

Emily: No pun intended.

Jeremy: Ben, did you want to know, let
people know where they can find you

Ben: Yeah.

Find me pen con comics.com check
out some of my old work I mentioned.

Re uh, heavenly Blues, uh, fun little, uh.

Caper, a heist story set in heaven and
hell that, uh, you can pick up on that.

it's available for purchase
online the trade that it's

an older one, but a goodie.

And then we've got, the usual
favorites check out stuff like,

uh, Renegade Rule, Al Campbell wins
their weekend, and Captain Laserhawk.

Emily: Hell yeah.

Jeremy: Fantastic.

Emily, what should
people look for from you?

Emily: Well, I'm working, I'm actually
working on making a web store for

all of my prints and stuff and since
currently Printless is print less

I'm making, I'm being print full and
hopefully that will stop that gap.

So check me out on Instagram, that's
where all of that information will be.

That's mega underscore moth on Instagram
and you can find all of me and all

my weird shenanigans on megamoth.

net That's my card and I'm also
on litter box over there and also

I'm on patreon, but if you're
gonna sign up for a patreon Jeremy

Jeremy: Yeah, you can find our
Patreon for Progressively Horrified

at progressivelyhorrified.

com.

On Patreon, uh, we are on our website
at transistor or progressively

horrified.transistor.com.

You can find us on Twitter and now
on Blue Sky at Prog Horror Pod.

And all the old familiar places.

I am on Twitter and Instagram
at jrome58, jeremywhitley.

com, and at bluesky and
tumblr at jeremywhitley.

My new book, The Cold
Ever After just came out.

Uh, it'll have been out a little while
by the time you hear this, but if you

guys enjoy a little bit of, a little bit
of horror, a little bit of fantasy, a

little bit of noir thrown all together.

It's got all of that.

And it's a lot of fun, I promise.

that's it for us.

We would love for you to rate and
review this podcast wherever you are.

You are listening to it.

That helps us reach new audiences
and that helps us make more stuff.

So it's really benefiting you as well.

Thanks so much to Jorri for joining us.

Uh, this was a great time.

Jorri: thank you.

Ben: Yes, thank you so much,
Jorri, for joining us on this one.

Jorri: Thanks to all of you.

I had a blast.

I could talk about vampires forever.

Emily: Me too

Jeremy: I feel like that's what we should
just change the name of this podcast too.

Emily: We'll have this is so sign
up for the patreon and we'll have

supplemental material of just us
talking about vampires in the future

Jeremy: Sure.

Just record our normal conversations.

Thanks as always to all of
y'all for listening and until

next time, stay horrified.