Progressively Disney
===

[00:00:00] Emily: Do you wanna like a- do you wanna cleanse?

[00:00:02] Ben: Do I want a-? Yes, I will take a, is that what we're calling it now? A cleanse?

[00:00:07] Emily: I, I would just say if you wanted to, like, if wanted to like reset your mindset.

[00:00:11] Ben: Is that what we're calling just a cleanse now?

[00:00:14] Emily: Sure! If that's how you wanna do.

[00:00:17] Jeremy: Whatever you need.

[00:00:19] Emily: It's not unheard of.

[00:00:21] Ben: Uh, no. Let me just, uh. No, no, let's just, uh, let's dive into it.

[00:00:25] Emily: Okay.

[00:00:26] Jeremy: All right.

[00:00:26] Emily: Okay.

[00:00:27] Jeremy: Where do I start? I'm singing fake boy band songs again. It's been in my house all the last couple days.

[00:00:32] Ben: Oh, uh, Turning Red.

[00:00:33] Jeremy: Yeah.

[00:00:34] Emily: Oh shit. I have to.

[00:00:35] Jeremy: I'm never not by your side and-

[00:00:37] Ben: I mean, look, I think I'm not gonna like it for the same reason I didn't like any of the Dead Pool or Wolverine movies. I don't know how you expect me to empathize with a Canadian.

[00:00:49] TJ: In Turning Red?

[00:00:51] Ben: It's a, yeah. The movie takes place in Toronto.

[00:00:54] Emily: Yeah.

[00:00:55] TJ: Uh, okay. I watched the whole thing and I just didn't pick up on that.

[00:00:59] Jeremy: It's- It's very Canadian, TJ.

[00:01:02] Ben: I haven't seen it at all.

[00:01:03] TJ: Okay, to be fair. I was on my phone, like half the movie, but it was very good.

[00:01:07] Emily: This is why I was waiting to, for some of my younger friends who like, are into it.

[00:01:11] Jeremy: They put that little tower in the background of every shot. Yeah.

[00:01:15] Ben: God, the last big animated movie I watched was, honestly, Coco, and then I've just been fucking behind the bend on everything. Or no, I watched Soul, which-

[00:01:21] Emily: I haven't seen Soul.

[00:01:22] TJ: Did you see Luca?

[00:01:23] Ben: I didn't see Luca.

[00:01:24] TJ: What?!

[00:01:24] Ben: Though, I feel like now when Pixar talks about like Disney keeps de-gayifying our movies. I'm like, you can say Luca.

[00:01:31] TJ: Right. That's why I was like confirmed Luca was gay. And then I made people angry. 'Cause I was laughing about it.

[00:01:37] Ben: I've never seen Luca. And all I know is that it's one of the gayest movies I've ever seen. So I haven't seen.

[00:01:43] Emily: I, I have particular feelings about that movie because it takes place in Cinque Terre which is like important.

Anyway.

[00:01:50] TJ: It's great. Whole other podcast.

[00:01:53] Emily: Yeah. Yeah.

[00:01:53] Jeremy: Luca is fine.

[00:01:54] TJ: No!

[00:01:54] Jeremy: I don't-

[00:01:55] TJ: It was-

[00:01:55] Jeremy: I don't have strong feelings for-

[00:01:57] TJ: Perfect! Because it was made for me specifically.

[00:01:58] Ben: Progressively Disney is a whole can of worms. I don't even know if I dare open. Welcome to Progressively Disney. Today, we're talking about Pocahontas.

[00:02:08] Emily: Un-progressively Disney.

[00:02:09] Ben: Or why I'd rather just be attacked by a swarm of bees.

[00:02:24] Emily: But how are you gonna paint with all the colors of the wind?

[00:02:28] Jeremy: Oh, all right.

[00:02:30] Emily: All right.

[00:02:31] Ben: I'm not gonna lie. I really do. I like that song.

[00:02:33] Emily: That's a good song. Yeah.

[00:02:34] Ben: Yeah. It's kinda-

[00:02:35] Jeremy: Hey. I've heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon. I know. Alright?

[00:02:38] Ben: I just love the idea that Disney had their, A team and their B team back then and they're like, all right A team. What? Next? We just did Beauty and the Beast. What's our next great period piece romance? Pocahontas? Perfect. Get at it. B team. I don't know. We got a slot to fill. What do you wanna do? Hamlet with lions? Sure. Why the fuck not, I guess.

[00:02:59] Emily: They ripped off Osamu Tezuka.

[00:03:01] Ben: Oh, they sure did. Big time.

X-Men is Disney, Right?
---

[00:03:03] Emily: Oh yes. Uh, but I do wanna say during this whole explanation about the rules of the trilogy and how that works, the one thing I think would've been really great that they don't do- they never say, oh yeah. And the third one is always like a real cheap cash grab with cameos in it. And that would've been perfect. So.

[00:03:22] Ben: Yeah, nothing will ever top that level of accidental self-awareness like X-Men Apocalypse having a line where they walk out of Return the Jedi and go like the third one's always the worst one. It's like really X-Men Apocalypse You wanna do this?

[00:03:36] Emily: I mean.

[00:03:37] Ben: You sure you wanna fucking go down this road X-Men: Apocalypse?

[00:03:41] Emily: They, I think they just knew. They just knew. And they were like, yeah, I'm sorry. That was their apology. Like, hi guys.

[00:03:49] Ben: Hope they wake up every day and just write Oscar Isaac an apology email.

[00:03:54] Emily: Right?

[00:03:54] Ben: Sorry for making you look like Ivan Ooze, Oscar Isaac.

[00:03:58] Emily: Yeah,

[00:03:58] Ben: We can cut the X-Men trash talking.

[00:04:01] TJ: Okay. Then I have to say, I did like Apocalypse. I know a lot of people hate it, but I'm a defender. Like it's not as good as the other ones, but I enjoyed it.

[00:04:08] Jeremy: Let's rap. Because I, I, okay. I, one weekend when I was at a convention in Atlanta, Uh, having neither seen Xmen apocalypse nor Superman versus a Batman, both intentionally, uh, having not seen them was at a hotel and had nowhere to go. And it was like 150 degrees outside cuz it's Atlanta. And so like I, I came back to the hotel and got pizza and Batman versus Superman was on. And I decided I'm gonna watch this movie as long as I'm having fun. So at least I know what I'm making fun of because I'd already been making fun of the movie at that point.

Uh, Batman is Superman is not technically a movie. It, it does not have a plot. It doesn't make sense. One scene just goes into another, they don't know who Batman or Superman are. There are things in that movie that just like-

[00:04:54] Emily: They have secret identities.

[00:04:55] Jeremy: Defy logic. But it's difficult to take your eyes off of when you're watching it, because it's just like, it's so nuts that you can't stop looking at it.

Now, the second day of this convention, the same thing happened and I got food and I sat down in front of my TV and Xmen apocalypse was on, on right at the beginning. And I watched the first 10 minutes of that movie in which they reintroduced Magneto, now a reformed man living in Russia who has a wife and a child that in the first 10 minutes introduces angelic child and then murder both his wife and his child with a single arrow in order to have him turn into a bad guy again for this movie, I turned the movie off and have never seen the rest of Xmen apocalypse.

[00:05:37] TJ: Yeah.

[00:05:37] Jeremy: Because that's the most ridiculous, lazy fridging bullshit that I've ever seen in a movie. And I-

[00:05:44] Ben: I feel like they do that multiple times for Magneto.

[00:05:46] TJ: Oh yeah.

[00:05:47] Emily: Yeah.

[00:05:47] Ben: Like Magneto loses multiple fam- like family symbolizing, his innocence and peace.

[00:05:53] TJ: And I agree. Apocalypse is not good, but I didn't like hate it as a trilogy ender or like the end of that era of Xmen. I was like, okay. And then Dark Phoenix came out and that's the only X-Men movie I've ever hated. It made me very angry.

[00:06:08] Ben: Never seen that one. I, I, I was like, nope. We can cut all this. I, I don't need my just shit talking, being on here.

[00:06:16] Jeremy: I mean, you have seen the third Xmen movie, right? TJ like-

[00:06:20] TJ: Oh my- yeah, I actually. Okay. Again, I know the third one. Isn't a good movie, but it's a fun movie. I loved it as a kid. It's bad, but I have a lot of fun with it.

[00:06:32] Jeremy: Although it, it is, it is in contention with Wolverine origins for the worst X-Men movie. Because Wolverine origins, Wolverine origins is wild because the first half hour of Wolverine origins is actually pretty good. The second half hour is like, I don't really know where they're going with this, but I'm still here.

[00:06:50] TJ: It's bad. Have you seen Dark Phoenix?

[00:06:52] Jeremy: I've not seen Dark Phoenix. No.

[00:06:54] TJ: It's. Okay. It's the only one that made me mad as a fan of the film franchise, cuz they're very different. You know, like the films are very different from the comic X-Men. It made me angry as a film fan and as a comic fan in different ways and was just so angry it... grrrrrrrrr.

But yeah, all those movies suck in their own way.

[00:07:16] Ben: All right. Back to a franchise. That's good though. Now

[00:07:19] Emily: I mean, debatably, yes. On average. Yes.

[00:07:23] Jeremy: No Jay and Silent Bob in X-Men. Sadly.

[00:07:25] Emily: Well that's only a matter of time.

[00:07:27] Jeremy: Um.

[00:07:28] Emily: Actually they're not, they're not relevant anymore, so that's okay.

[00:07:31] Jeremy: Are they okay. So,

[00:07:33] Ben: uh, Alicia, you know what to do?

Snip snip snip. Cut. Cut.

[00:07:37] Emily: Just save it. Just save it. Alicia, just save it.

[00:07:40] Jeremy: Okay.

[00:07:41] Emily: Save! Save some of it!

[00:07:42] Ben: Let the past die! Kill it if you have to!