The Thing (aka Reverse John Wick) with Lan Pitts and Kevin Ketner

Just some dudes, studying what shit does when it's cold.

Alicia: Hey, just a heads up the episode.

You're about to listen to is about the
thing directed by John Carpenter and

written by bill Lancaster and John W.

Campbell.

Some relevant trigger warnings for
this movie include animal death,

infection, suicide, extreme And our
host ranked this movie is scary.

If you'd like to learn more about the
movie, discuss this evening, please visit

our website progressively horrified.

Dot transistor.fm for show
notes and a transcript.

After the spooky music, we'll
talk about the movie and full.

Be forewarned.

There will be spoilers.

Now let's get on with the show.

Jeremy: Good evening and welcome to
Progressively Horrified, the podcast

where we hold horror to progressive
standards it never agreed to.

And guys, here's The Thing.

Ben: Ayyyy!

Emily: Ayyyyyyy!

Jeremy: I'm your host Jeremy Whitley
and with me tonight, I have a

panel of cinephiles and cenobites.

First, they're here to challenge
the sexy werewolf/ sexy vampire

binary, my co-host Ben Kahn.

Ben, how are you tonight?

Ben: Well, I'll tell you.

If me being a snarky asshole
about movies is any part of this

show's appeal, tune in next week.

This is another "me gushing about
a cinematic classic" episode.

Jeremy: And the Cinnamon Roll
of Cenobites, our co-host, Emily

Martin, how are you tonight, Emily?

Emily: I'm wondering what science
they're doing in Antarctica.

Jeremy: All of it.

If you look at the, the jobs that
people supposedly have in this movie!

Emily: Yeah.

Like-.

Jeremy: All the science.

Emily: Every science.

Forever.

Jeremy: And tonight we have two
excellent guests: first, comic writer

who you might know from writing
the Psycho Gorman comic Lan Pitts.

Lan!

How are you?

Lan: I'm also an eye scientist
currently in Antarctica.

So yes.

I can speak on this frozen eye science.

Kevin: Yeah.

Ben: Which of them were the scientists?

Because their jobs were just,
they had like helicopter pilot-.

Jeremy: All of them accept
the ones that survived.

Ben: Yeah.

I thought there was just like
unprofessional radio guy.

Emily: Radio science.

Ben: I am here as full-time
professional flamethrower wielder.

Jeremy: I looked them all up.

So I will hit 'em in the uh,
thing in just a minute here.

Also returning from our earlier
discussion of Friday the 13th

,noted Jason Vorhees apologist and
defender, comics editor Kevin Ketner.

Kevin, how are you?

Kevin: I'm great.

I'm not the Antarctic, so, but
it is relatively cold where I am.

Ben: What were they studying?

It, kind of just seemed to be like,
can a group of dudes just hang

out in Antarctica for a while?

Lan: They were investigating this
situation cuz if anyone remembers

how this movie starts with the dog.

I can't remember what language this
is, but they didn't translate it.

Jeremy: Nor Norwegian.

Emily: Norwegian.

Lan: Right.

So, He's saying The dog.

The dog is dog is something else.

And so the Norwegians, they knew up
front that the dog was the bad guy.

Jeremy: Norwegians seeing this movie
get it spoiled real early, real early.

Ben: But like what did the group
of Americans like, what did they

originally go to Antarctica to study?

Jeremy: What stuff is like
when it's cold, I assume.

Emily: I guess.

Ben: They just need to all be
hanging out, drinking, playing chess.

Like I saw them like do no
pre- The Thing like science.

Jeremy: A guy shows up and starts
shooting at them and the doctor's

like, Fuck guys, let's go check out
the base and see what's going on.

Cuz we live in fucking Antarctica
and there's nothing else.

Lan: No!

No MacReady and Copper.

Yeah, they, they're
investigating what happens.

That's why they're there.

Like, why did this guy
go crazy and everything?

Emily: Well, they were
already there though.

Like they, everybody was already there.

Just this one helicopter
came through and was like-.

Ben: What does-.

Emily: A dog!

Ben: Do on days where he doesn't
wear a giant cowboy hat and drink?

Emily: He wears his baby slut shirt.

Kevin: He- He just drinks,
he just doesn't wear the hat.

Emily: Yeah.

And plays bad chess on the very
expensive computer for 1982.

Ben: Now, I did not have very
many notes for this movie.

And I don't know dick all about helicopter
pilot, so if there are any helicopter

pilot listeners who wanna step in
here: why did it seem to specifically

be his flying oversized cowboy hat?

Does it help him?

Like if there are any pilots, does it help
like make you more aerodynamic as a pilot?

Emily: I will say-.

Jeremy: It's a messy Kurt Russell hair.

You gotta like keep it under something.

Emily: Also, When you're in
the snow, you need like shade.

You need some other, something
else for your eyeballs because

otherwise you're gonna go snow blind.

Jeremy: It's lucky we didn't get
the baseball, you know, eye black.

Yeah.

Alright, I drew the, the short straw
on uh, doing the Uh, recap for this.

I'm gonna try and keep
it not too terribly long.

Uh, This is directed by the
one and only John Carpenter.

Uh, It is written by Bill Lancaster.

It is based on a story by John W.

Campbell, Jr.

I will uh, hit all the stars here
in a minute as I go through it,

cuz it gets confusing real quick
cuz there's a lot of guys and

then there's suddenly lot of guys.

Ben: Oh, I will hoot and holler.

Cause really deep analysis this movie.

Fucking Rules.

Lan: Oh yeah.

Jeremy: The only thing I don't like
about this movie is it explains maybe

a bit more than it even has to because
we start off with the beginning credits

of this uh, very cheap looking flying
saucer flying into earth's atmosphere.

Emily: Yeah, I didn't need that.

Jeremy: We jump I guess several
thousand years ahead from there.

Or we'll be told that it's
several thousand years later.

And it's winter, 1982 in Antarctica.

We're at the United States National
Science Institute, Outpost 31.

Apparently there are
30 other ones of this.

They're studying a lot of
stuff at these outposts.

We meet a group of Americans who are
out there researching things at these.

Uh, they are Kurt Russell as
MacReady, who is a helicopter

pilot and a sore chess loser.

Wilford Brimley as Blair, a cautious
and soon to be paranoid biologist.

Keith David as Childs, a hotheaded
mechanic, Richard Masur as Clark,

a stoic dog handler, TK Carter
as Nauls, the easygoing cook.

David Clennon as Palmer, the conspiracy
theorist/ assistant mechanic.

Charles Hallahan as Norris, a
quiet and awkward geologist.

That's uh, two fucked
up geologists in a row.

Thank you.

If you listen to the uh, last episode.

Uh, We have Richard Dysart is Dr.

Copper, who's a curious physicist.

Peter Maloney as Bennings,
a doomed meteorologist.

Uh, Donald Moffat as Garry, a
gun having station commander.

Joel Polis as Fuchs, a
justifiably terrified assistant

biologist and Thomas G.

Waites as Windows, the glasses
wearing radio operator.

Emily: Named after the computer.

Jeremy: So we start off with the
base being circled by a Norwegian

helicopter who's shooting at the world's
best dog actor, Jed the Malamute.

uh, I blame John McCain for the
fact that I can't see the beginning

of this movie without thinking of
Sarah Palin unfortunately, people

on helicopters shooting at wolves.

When the dog approaches the American base
and Norwegian team lands and tries to

kill it, accidentally blows up their own
helicopter then shoots Bennings in the leg

while trying to shoot the dog, prompting
Garry to destroy a window on a base

that's facing subzero temperature so that
he can shoot the Norwegian in the head.

Could have just opened the door.

He's right next to it.

The group tries to- the group
tries to hail the installation

uh, for emergency help.

But winter has started and no
signals are getting through.

They can't reach the Norwegian base.

They can't reach help.

Doc Copper wants to investigate
and talks MacReady into flying

him to the Norwegian base.

Here they find at least 10 things,
which would have me running

without further investigation.

The place is smouldering, there
are dead bodies everywhere.

A large block of ice that seems to have
been excavated and had something removed.

There is a smoking corpse of
something semi humanoid, but

definitely not human and too weird
and large to possibly be human.

Uh, So they pack that up and
take it back to the base.

Why not?

Meanwhile, the dog is cautiously
wandering around the station.

How can a dog seems so suspicious?

How does this dog seem suspicious?

I guess it's the, Enni- Ennio
Morricone music is making

this dog seem very nefarious.

Emily: It's also looking really intensely.

Jeremy: Yeah.

This dog, this dog is a hell of an actor.

I don't, I don't know what it is.

I don't know who's coaching this
dog or what, but like, I really

believe this dog was up to some shit.

So Mac and Copper arrive with the body
and Doc Blair does an alien autopsy.

He concludes that it has
very normal human organs.

Uh, what a relief!

Clark puts the dog in the kennel with
the other dogs, and it immediately

starts transforming into gruesome
hunk of pulsating meat and tentacles

and starts eating dogs whole.

Clark sees it and decides
to go get everybody else.

Mac sees it and decides to get
a flamethrower cause he's gonna

nuke the fuck out of this thing.

They find video logs in the
Norwegians at the dig site.

They head out there and find a partially
excavated flying saucer and a square

missing from the ice that looks like
probably where they cut out that

block of ice that the Norwegian base.

In the one part of the movie that truly
stands out as aging poorly and dropping

unneeded exposition, Doc Blair watches the
computer simulation that shows him how the

alien cells infect, transform, and then
imitate other cells, which is followed by

the computer volunteering without any of
prompting that there's a 75% chance that

somebody in the team is already infected.

Emily: You don't know
that he didn't program it.

Jeremy: Ridiculous numbers about how
if The Thing gets out, it's going to

overtake Earth's population overnight.

Kevin: You know, it happens.

Jeremy: He's just staring at this computer
and this computer's like, you know-

Ben: Incredible.

Jeremy: It's a good chance that
somebody here is already an alien,

Kevin: But it says that about everything
though, so it's really, it really

shouldn't have the impact It does.

Emily: The computer is just really
salty that the chess master was

like liquored and short circuited.

Yeah.

Like I think that-

Jeremy: the girlfriend, the chess master-

Emily: yeah.

Jeremy: Is dead.

Ben: I think it would've been a great
twist if it revealed there was no

thing and it was just the computer
getting revenge on Mac for fying it's

chess compatriot slash true love.

Jeremy: Uh So meanwhile, the corpse
that they brought home is proving

to be less dead than they thought.

It starts to absorb Bennings, but
they catch it before it's completely

changed over and they barbecue it.

Bennings is our first one out.

Goodbye Bennings.

Blair is convinced that they can't
leave this place because they'll

infect everything, So he trashes
the helicopter and heads into the

base to start fucking shit up.

Mac subdues him and they
lock him in a separate cabin.

Everyone is suspicious of Copper and Clark
and so they, they start tying people up.

Uh, They find ripped up clothes and
the Mac believes The Thing rips through

your clothes once it takes you over.

Fuchs is rightly paranoid and begins
telling Mac everything he's worried about.

But then he finds Mac's torn clothes
hidden away and he apparently

decides to just go and ahead and
burn himself alive at that point.

The one guy he trusted, he
thinks is probably an alien now.

So goodbye Fuchs.

Goodbye forever.

Fuchs is not here for the action movie.

Um, This is not what he signed up for.

Uh, Naules and Mac go out to investigate
Mac's Cabin because there's lights on.

Naules- and I guess Mack is my dad.

Only Nauls.

Kevin: He's gonna check
that thermostat too.

Jeremy: Yeah, he's
like, There's lights on.

We're going out through this
fucking disastrous snowstorm

to turn that shit off.

It's wasting energy.

Emily: I mean, they're out there-.

Jeremy: Nauls returns saying that he
found Mac's torn and hidden clothes

and cut him loose in the storm.

Mac meanwhile breaks in through the, the
storm outside and everyone thinks he's

The Thing because he survived it all.

Uh, He keeps him from killing him by
threatening to blow them up with dynamite.

He's got a, a cartoonish hunk of dynamite,
which he will continue to carry around for

a large portion of this movie like a prop.

In the struggle, Norris falls
and his heart seems to stop.

So they bring Copper in to try and
save him, which is when his entire

chest opens up and eats Copper's arms.

Emily: They come right off.

Jeremy: Yeah.

They comp right through those things.

Very strong stomach teeth.

Emily: I wish my stomach
teeth were that strong.

Jeremy: Yeah.

And he starts mutating
into something horrible.

Mac fries him, but not before his
head grows legs and tries to run away.

They toast that too.

So now we've lost Norris
and Copper as well.

Mac's gonna tie everyone up and we're
gonna do a blood test, but Clark decides

he'd rather attempt to stab Mac uh,
and gets shot in the head for that.

So by Clark we have the absolute classic
blood test scene in which the movie

pulls an Okie doke and leads you to
expect one result while revealing that

uh, Palmer is actually The Thing which
he then starts shaking and mutating

while still tied to the others.

He starts eating Windows
before anybody can stop him.

And Mac eventually torches both of them.

So finally Mac has destroyed Windows.

Emily: Can I interject something right
here in this second part of the film.

This is really hilarious because
they're like, they have this big

climactic, not the climactic, but a
climactic scene where they're like

burning everybody in this room.

And then they cut to later, everyone's
still tied up and they're like,

Okay, gotta finish testing though.

No smoke.

Ben: There is something so great to
just, their reactions of being tied to

this monster on a couch just screaming.

Jeremy: Yeah.

That's the one part I feel like he
didn't, fully consider when he set up

this whole uh, tying everybody up thing,
The Thing would then reveal itself

and be tied to everybody else but him.

Um, So now we're down to the cleared
Mac, Childs, Nauls and Garry.

They realize that Doc Blair is out
there in the cabin and vulnerable.

So Mac, Nauls, and Garry go
to save him, leaving Childs

alone to hold down the fort.

They continue to be bad at this math
thing, like they just constantly splitting

the party and leaving one person alone.

When they arrive, they find
Blair uh, missing from this

cabin he was locked into.

Locked door is open despite only
being able to open from the outside.

They also discovered that he's dug a
whole tunnel under this thing and he has

partially built a spacecraft under there.

Uh, and He's apparently been locked
in there for quite some time.

The, the time is a little difficult
to keep track of in this movie.

Either he's very quick, a
very quick builder, or he is

been in there for a while.

Emily: Well all his other hands came
out to like help with the construction.

Kevin: He's nothing but hands.

He's very hands on.

Jeremy: Yeah, uh, so we, we now
know that Blair is The Thing and we

don't know how long he's been The
Thing, but he definitely is now.

Uh, So good.

Goodbye Blair.

They catch sight of Childs running off
through the snow for God knows where,

just before the power goes out completely.

The Thing has cut the
generator and clearly plans to

refreeze and be rescued later.

They can't let that happen.

They're not gonna survive without the heat
and they can take this thing with them.

Uh, So.

Garry, Nauls and Mac uh, start blowing
up the whole facility a piece at

a time using all the dynamite and
the flamethrower leaving finally

underground to the generator room,
the one place they haven't checked.

They immediately decide to split up
and lose sight of each other down here.

And wouldn't you know it, The
Blair thing eats Garry immediately.

Goodbye Garry.

Ben: Not just eats him, sticks
his hand in his face and

merges his hand with his face.

Emily: And then drags him
behind him like a plastic bag.

Ben: Drags him behind.

While Garry is still alive now, unable
to scream because his face is, his

mouth is turned into a monster's hand.

Emily: Yeah, it's very, very intimate.

Ben: Yeah.

The practical effects
are fucking legendary.

Jeremy: Yeah.

Garry gets Legendarily fucked
up and Nauls I guess also dies.

He walks down the hallway after
Garry has been taken out and

we don't ever see him again.

So I guess he's dead.

The Thing then comes rushing under the
floorboards and steals the dynamite

plunger uh, trying to kill Mac.

Uh, So Mac manually lights the
dynamite and yells "Yeah, well fuck

you too" at the creature before
blowing it and the whole base to hell.

Mac finally, climbs up stairs and
collapses in exhaustion only to

have Childs emerge from the shadows.

And rather than be suspicious, they
figure if one of them is The Thing,

they're pretty much dead anyway.

So they decide to share a drink
as they wait to freeze to death.

The end.

Lan: Yay.

Emily: That wasn't too bad.

Jeremy: Yeah, Surprisingly
like dark ending for what's

generally a pretty fun movie.

Yeah.

I guess it's all to do with
your perspective on uh,

grizzly murders of these sorts.

Ben: I mean, this does the great like,
Space horror, even like alien data, like.

Prometheus didn't get this right because
it just kept throwing red shirts in left

and right, but this really doesn't, right?

Like it introduces us to an incredibly
finite amount of cast in an environment

they cannot naturally survive.

And then we watch as the Cassius
gets dwindled, one after another by

a murder monster where each death is
meaningful because you know, no help is

coming and with every kill, that's one
less person that can help the group.

Kevin: I still love that it's
sort of like the reverse John Wick

where like if they had killed the
dog, nothing would've happened

Emily: Well, I mean in a long
enough timeline, the dog would've

assimilated everybody and they would've

what?

How Great

Ben: cross over that is.

Like John Wake gets a new dog and it's The
Thing now they're going around the world

being horror monster assassin buddies is,

I'd watch that.

God, when that dog was in the,
kennel and like tendrils just

started flailing all out of it.

Like there's a reason.

This is the unimpeachable benchmark
for body horror and has been.

And is untouched for the
last literally 40 years.

So good.

Kevin: I lovely like when you read
about it and it's like when it

came out, like critics made fun of
the, effects and you're just like-.

Insane.

Well, like what, what
are you talking about?

Lan: It's

amazing.

Ben: This is an anine
chapel in horror, Practical

Emily: effects.

Yeah.

I think they just didn't have the context
to, to figure out what they were seeing.

Yeah.

Kevin: They haven't seen 40 Marvel
movies with CGI to let them know how

good they were having it at the time.

Ben: Right?

When the header drips off the body,
not just like falls off or stuff.

Drips off and then grows spider legs

Emily: and then you, while
David Cronenberg's's like right

Ben: I'm gonna become a
broken record real fast.

This movie is just
putting out iconography.

Every scare that other movies
could only dream they could

achieve once in their run time.

Kevin: Is there a better jump scare
than when he's got the wire and he

puts it in the blood and it just like,

,
Jeremy: I've seen this movie plenty
of times and it still gets me.

Yeah.

Because like the way they set it
up is like, okay, you know, when

the jump scare is coming, you know,
when it's coming it's the next one.

It's the next one and,
oh no, it's this one.

Like, it's so perfectly timed and
it fakes you out in a way that like

jump skis rarely succeed at doing.

Ben: If I had a criticism of this movie,
I think it's Act three is a little rushed.

Where once they're down there
and then it's just like throw the

dynamite dime, like, it feels like a
surprisingly short amount of the movie.

And so the fact that like,
knowledge just disappears, he

doesn't even get it in death scene.

Jeremy: Yeah.

like my, two criticisms of it are that
it explains more than it has to mm-hmm.

, for a movie that does such a good
job of explaining things as they're

going on, as like, you know, because
of the way the effects are done,

you can see what's happening.

You don't have to like, have
them explain quite so much.

You don't need the computer simulation and
you don't need the bit before the credits.

Well, like Tammy, are you

Ben: telling me you didn't need the
like two and a half solid minutes of

footage of asteroids level computer
graphics showing the same process of

a cell getting taken over repeatedly.

Jeremy: Yeah.

What?

It's so funny because I think some
of it is like, we are looking at

this through the lens of people
who have seen a few dozen things

inspired by this movie that have, you
know, gotten to take the shortcut by

things, by movies like this existing.

Mm-hmm.

But I think, from a standpoint now you
look at it and you're like, Oh wow.

Like I can get the biologist being
freaked out and wanting to make

sure that nobody leaves without a
very long, bad computer simulation.

Emily: I don't know.

I feel like the computer simulation
for me, and this might be just my

aesthetic, but it's so vague and weird,
it does remind me of the computer in

Alien, which is just the display.

I mean, I feel like the mother is a
lot more effective as what it does.

But there's something about that
just kind of chunky computer

trying its best to show us graphics
that is a little charming to me.

Especially in something that is about
body horror and things that we don't

quite understand and we don't really see.

Well-.

We can't really get a, a full
rendered picture of what it is, so

we just get these blobs of pixels.

Jeremy: Yeah.

I mean, I, the computer stuff
didn't really exist at the time

that the original, like short
story and everything were written.

Yeah.

And it was all done with, slides
and like, the actual biology

that Wolf Grimley supposedly does.

So like, I, I think it would've
worked great to just use blood slides.

I think maybe people in you know,
the time that this comes out Oh yeah.

Wouldn't have been as familiar
with that maybe, but, I, I think

you could have definitely gotten

Ben: the point of best.

At the least.

I think we could have just had it
take over one cell and not three.

I think we got it after the first one.

Yeah.

Also, elder summaries here like,
and then Wilford Brimley goes crazy.

I'm like, Wilford Brimley is
entirely saying up until he gets like

turned into The Thing off screen.

His destroying the helicopter and the
radio like that is entirely logical.

Well, he needs to

Emily: communicate though.

Ben: He needs to communicate,
but at heart he is entirely sane

and he is taking the most logical
and like rational train of logic.

Like, I don't know.

He's doing the right thing.

He is immediately prioritizing
the survival of global ecosystems

over individual survival.

Emily: Definitely a biologist
and not a sociologist.

Ben: Again, I do not know how accurate.

Also The Thing every time it's discovered
is like, well, time to just eat, eat, eat.

Like it can speak.

It's capable of imitating a person.

It has memories.

You think it maybe like, we try to
be like, Guys, I know I'm a crazy

alien, but I promise I'm a good guy.

I don't know.

Don

Lan: learn.

I don't think so.

I I

Ben: also can speak where
you could talk this out.

Lan: It needs something, I
think, to make that work.

It's sort of like a, I mean

Ben: obviously I,

I'm not saying that should have happened.

It shouldn't, it probably would've been
a shark jump moment, but I'm just saying

Lan: it's a thing.

It just kinda.

The Thing could have done.

This mix.

It tentacle was like a little

Ben: amount of iCal

that that's not actual criticism.

Like I'm glad the movie didn't do that.

Oh, I'm glad it, yeah.

I'm now The Thing, speaking in.

I don't know, probably
Charles Dance's voice.

That's beautiful.

Lan: No, let's think of like
screen villains in 1982.

More than likely, it probably
would've been David Warner.

Yeah.

David, David Warner or Peter Cushing.

Probably, probably Vincent Price.

One of those for sure.

Jeremy: Yeah.

We could have just waited until the
end and have Wilford Brimley give

a villainous monologue, you know?

Emily: Yeah.

Kevin: I'm

just so glad

we didn't get that.

Like you and I are a lot alike.

You know, I came from Under Ice.

You live on top of it.

Ben: we both like alcohol with it.

Lan: Yeah.

Jay, I'm a j b man too.

.
Ben: We put so fucking much money
into our military and cia, like even

as we were given tens of billions of
dollars for all the mad scientist stuff.

And here we are just getting our fucking
asses head to us by the Norwegians who

apparently just found and excavated
a whole alien, super bio weapon.

And we weren't on top of that at all.

Listen.

The drop in the ball.

Listen.

No's got us beat on the alien.

Find them game

Emily: a Norway's whole like,
spending situation is a little bit

more organized from what I can tell.

Ben: That's what I'm saying.

We have terrible priorities.

Yeah.

We absolutely would've put more
into alien finding than school

Emily: lunches.

Well the, Okay, so the second the
guy's like, I don't know why there

aren't, Norwegian went crazy.

Cabin fever and I'm like that
Norwegian did not get cabin fever.

He did get alien.

That was explained in the film.

Norwegians can't get cabin fever.

You know why?

Because they come from Norway.

Ben: Like-.

That's just cabin

Emily: normal.

Yeah, this is cabin.

Like they know what's, That's
why they could do shit like that.

I don't know.

I'm, I'm making this up.

I'm not postulating that
Norwegians have like UFO finding

superpowers, but they have snow.

Jeremy: They do have
snow that is there too.

Ben: I didn't know where you were going
with that argument, but in the end

I find nothing I can disagree with.

They, Norwegians do have snow.

Emily: Thank you.

Thank you.

Ben: Goodnight.

Jeremy: so I, I guess my question
is like, There's a complete lack

of women whatsoever in this movie.

Is this movie, is that a problem?

Like?

Emily: No, I, nah,

Jeremy: Other than the chess robot
being played by Adrian Barbo for

some reason, I guess she was just

Ben: there.

This is the kind of thing, like you
look at Alien and that's a movie that

like throws out like, hey, here's
some random blue collar workers.

And like, you know, you got Ripley or make
character, but even aside from Ripley,

it's like, hey, here's one other girl
who still just like a space cargo mover.

Like they absolutely could have had
like, Bennings could have been like

a actress or something like that.

Like it wouldn't have made
a difference in the movie.

It wouldn't have suddenly
introduced feminist themes

or made it a feminist movie.

So it's the kinda thing, like there's no
reason the cast needed to be all dudes.

But for the roles they were, it's not
like it's an overly macho, misogynistic

movie as reflected by all dudes.

Like, it's, It didn't have to be that way,
but it's whatever is my kind of thing.

Do they,

Lan: do they even talk about women?

Ben: No.

No.

Emily: Which is surprising for
a movie about like a bunch of

dudes living by themselves and
like, they had that rec room.

I believe there was a poster on
the wall that had a woman's face on

it, but it was not like a pin up.

It was, I can't remember who it
was, but it was like a music-.

Cruise, nuclear science based,

Ben: not an army base.

They smoke weed, which made me happy
that they have weed in Antarctica.

Emily: Also, one of the
guys had a nose ring.

Did he?

Yeah.

One of the guys had a nose ring.

It was the, I think it was the doctor's
assistant or something, like one of the

older guys that wasn't Wilford Brimley.

Lan: Well, Bri with a nose ring.

Ben: Cool.

It was not him.

Wilford Brimley.

A nose ring would be great.

Look, I already think hard
target's a great movie, but I

think we could be even better.

Kevin: Let me fire Photoshop up

Ben: Now I feel like a nose, I feel
about a hard target to call it.

I would like there's a hard target too.

Like coming out.

Nobody.

Oh man, I, I didn't
know there was a sequel.

.
Lan: Yeah, it came out at uh, 2015, 2016.

Oh, wow.

Ben: You're welcome.

I mean, does it somehow bring Lance's
Hendrickson back because I kind of

feel like you got the more screen time
than anyone else in that movement.

Lan: No.

Ben: My favorite thing about Heart
Target is apparently when they hit in

the original cut to see it was like, Why
is there so much more Lance Hendrickson

screen time than John Claude Van Dam?

You know, Lance Hendrickson isn't
the protagonist of this movie, right?

Jeremy: When actually to
Video and Stars, Scott Atkins.

Ben: Oh man.

God, I feel like just the moment I
heard straight to video, I could've

just guessed and started Scott Atkin.

Lan: Yeah.

Ben: No disrespect to Boy's
Revenge or maybe a little

disrespect to Boy's Revenge.

I don't know.

Emily: Norris, I'm pretty
sure Norris had the nose ring.

Wait,

Ben: that doesn't sound like that.

Norris.

We

Emily: knew?

Ben: My favorite moment is in Norris
moment, Aside from the obvious, like his

chest opens up and eats a dude's arms.

Is when Garry says like,
Well, I can't be leader.

I don't think anything one will
have a problem with you, Norris.

And it cuts over to Norris.

And it's honestly the first time the
camera has lingered on his face, the

entire film . And he has a face that
looks like even he didn't realize

he was a character in the movie.

Jeremy: Also, he looks like he
does not want to be part of this.

No!

It's like me?

Ugh.

This is a

Kevin: court appointed

Ben: assignment for him.

Like he honestly looks like he's like,
I Russell Crow, that like Russell Crow.

Kurt Russells that way.

I think camera's not
pointed the right way.

Emily: Copper.

It's Copper.

Who has the nose

running?

Is anyone

Ben: else distracted by constantly
wanting to run your fingers through

Kurt Russell's hair during this film?

Emily: I that, that's just part
of Kurt Russell's appearance.

Lan: Yeah, I don't know about this
film, but definitely maybe like

Ben: escape from New York.

Had he had a mane on him in this film?

Lan: Well, yeah.

Yeah, he did.

But it was very, it wasn't powerful.

I don't feel like it was powerful.

I feel like it made me be like, beat here.

I'd give it a beat here.

Like it's.

Escape from New York or Big trouble,
which is s s Tier Kurt Russell hair.

Yeah.

Kevin: Yeah.

Cause cause the powers in the formation
of that molet, it's intentional, right?

Like, it's not like I
just let my hair grow.

It was like, you know what?

I'm gonna trim it up here, but not

Emily: back here.

Yeah.

And it was sculpted in those films.

And this would be, it was just, I
think that was part of the uh, allure

of his hair in this movie is that
it was a little bit more natural.

Where

Ben: do we rank Kurt Russell's hockey
coach hair cut from the called.

Lan: I mean, we can get
a chart going real fast.

Oh

Emily: yeah.

Well, well we can do that

Ben: on Sunday.

I wanna know where ego falls.

Both modern day ego and like flashback.

Or he had like

Lan: ron Pearlman from
B and the Beast Hair.

Emily: Yeah, no, that's a main,
but like that's an actual main.

Literal.

I'm pretty sure he's wearing a lion.

Yeah.

Because he is one.

Yeah.

Jeremy: Also Escape from New York
does that thing where he never

actually has his head straight.

He's always just looking
at things sideways

Emily: and

Oh yeah.

Well cuz he only has the one eye you see?

Yeah.

Cause he has to like fill.

Yeah.

Lan: I

Ben: guess you see that.

I still can't get over that.

Fuck Will re's fucking computer The that
chance that there's aliens, like what

inputs did he put in, what HTML codes.

I guess maybe it runs on eighties Linux.

I

Emily: don't know how pro, I
think it's the, I think it's like

we're talking c plus plus here.

Ben: What did, what commands did
he have to input to get the time

estimation for all life on earth?

Eradicated

Emily: command cell co colon dog.

This

Jeremy: was definitely a software ai.

Cause it's like, Huh how long would it
take to eradicate all human life on earth?

Ben: Like,

how long were they doing this?

Did he have to write the
software to calculate this?

And then have to tell him, Well,

Kevin: that's what they
were doing in Antarctica.

Because like, cause the computer
would overheat otherwise it

needed to be in a really cold
place to run those calculations.

Emily: There go, Oh, it's
doing Bitcoin, of course.

Lan: Oh, no course.

Emily: No,

Lan: no.

Jeremy: But like, can't let the
alien take over the blockchain.

Ben: God make it
perfectly imitate any nfd,

.
Emily: But that's,
that's what it was doing.

It was trying to become the next artist.

It was becoming like, it was using
the, the AI inputs to create life.

Ben: Like, again, like I'm say, I'm just
saying like there's a different, less good

version of the movie where Bennings, The
Thing gets caught hands all fucked up.

They've got it surrounded.

And The Thing is like, I think I
can still talk my way out of this

Emily: I do prefer his like,

Ben: like I, I like to think The
Thing was going, like, I think I can

still convince him I'm the real guy.

It's

Emily: like when you're
drunk and you, it's

Jeremy: like preparing a
speech and all it got out.

Ben: Yeah, . The like thing.

Nailed it.

They definitely know.

Can't tell you're an

Jeremy: alien.

It's like, hold on, I got this.

The vocal chords are
definitely fully formed.

Let me try this and just, Nope.

, sorry.

Oops,

Emily: man.

Well maybe the computer was like,
actually like maybe there was

something going on with the computer.

Cause the first thing that fucking
Blair went after was the computer.

Like he was destroying the
shit outta that computer.

So maybe there was
something going on there.

Ben: Ash, David, like
alien side work thing.

Where is like The Thing,
the perfect life form now?

Jeremy: I think going for the radio there.

I

Ben: think that's, you
know, more versus The Thing.

Lan: So has anyone actually
read the original noella?

I have

Emily: no.

Jeremy: Read

about it, but not read it.

Lan: So there's the Noella
and then there's the,

uh,

Jeremy: the hawks moving.

Lan: Yeah.

Emily: From,

Lan: from another world.

Another world, Yeah.

Thing.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Big.

The other one is who Ghost there.

Yep.

Well, that's from Neve.

Emily: The Neve, Yeah.

Lan: Yeah, The Neves.

That one.

Jeremy: Yeah.

The Thing from another world guest stars
in Halloween, which, you know, he's made

just a few years before he'll end up
remaking The Thing from another world.

Ben: John Carpenter had his, he
knew what he had his side set on.

Emily: He's like, I'm gonna put this guy
in a Kirk mask and then I'm gonna get

some money and then I'm gonna recognize,
and then I'm gonna do this thing.

Because Have you read the novel?

Jeremy: What now?

Have you read the novel?

Lan: Uh, My dad had like a whole
bunch of like horror stuff from like,

no name people to uh, if anybody
remembers the NEC Rescope series, . I

was a huge fan of that when I was-.

Ben: Man.

That sounds like a telescope that, that
shows you dead people from far away.

That sounds,

Lan: uh, You're, you're,
you're not too far off.

Ben: Yay.

Lan: No, it, it was about this whole
thing of like superpowered vampires

and how this guy could, speaks the dead
if you went into like another world.

But yeah uh, I, I read a lot of
teen stuff and horror stuff with

my dad, and so I read that I was
probably maybe eight or nine, but my

dad was also the part-time parent.

So any nightmares that we had on brother,
I had nightmares, uh, were somebody

else's problem after they were bestowed.

Like I remember watching pets material
for the first time And not because of

like anything that actually happened
in, you know, the cemetery, but the

subplot between it was Rachel's sister
Zelda and her, like multiple sclerosis.

And it was like her in the stairs
and the makeup they put the actor

in just destroyed me as a child.

I don't know, I was an easily scared kid.

Like the scene in Batman where Joker
kills Anine with the buzzer and he's

like the skeleton that used to scare
me, I was an easily scared child.

So now, not now not so much, but I,
I think I still harbor some of those.

Ben: If it makes you feel better,
I can once again tell the story of

how In preschool, I was so scared
of the song, The Monster Mash.

I would, I would literally flee
from any room where it was playing.

Emily: I love that

.
I love that.

Kevin: They're just Ben.

They're just having a party.

Emily: Yeah, but they're monsters.

They're like every monster's there.

That has a point,

Lan: right?

I get that.

But the point that Ben doesn't make
is . We don't know what the monster mash.

Sounds like

Emily: we do though.

They have a song about it.

No, no

Ben: song about Monster Song
is about the monster song.

It's like Tenacious d, Tribute.

Tribute.

Oh yeah.

Okay.

Lan: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The song is about the monster mash,
not the actual monster mash itself.

So maybe,

Ben: maybe

Lan: the hint of mystery eeriness there,
like the foreboding, like what does that

Ben: sound like?

My four year brain was, I think
was filling in the blanks.

It's like I'm seeing what the monster
mash must be and it's terrifying.

Like

Emily: it's terrifying.

That wants Space Odyssey
going through that monolith.

Like a right square Wolf
and Vampire in the lobby.

Lan: Yeah.

So we just watch a bunch of horror like
I mean I was 10, but like interview with

the Vampire movie just came out on vhs.

We rented that there was something.

Dr.

Giggles, if anyone remembers.

Dr.

Giggling.

Jeremy: Oh God.

Yeah.

No.

Ben: Dr.

Dig sounds like a nineties clown
who's in jail for life now.

He's a

Lan: dentist.

He's a dentist.

Ben: That's even worse.

Lan: God, I'm trying to remember where the
other just random, awful horror movies.

We would just get like a stack
up of it, be like, Here you go.

And that would be like a weekend.

But I mean, I, Cause I remember seeing.

Like on early HBO or
something at the time.

Mm-hmm.

, uh, I was way too young and it also
just scared the shit out of me.

So yeah I read it.

I just remember those are the two
big, like foundations of The Thing.

I have not seen the sequel slash prequel.

Uh,

Emily: I haven't either.

Lan: That came out, what, 10 years ago?

Emily: Yeah.

Think was 2011.

Jeremy: I've seen one either.

Ben: Yeah.

Okay.

I won a really crazy Norwegian horror
film, Like the Norwegian language prequel.

Oh.

Like what happened at that camp?

Emily: Right.

You know, that'll be a
very um, pensive film.

Yeah.

Lan: For a hot second bin.

I thought you were gonna be like,
I want a Norwegian director to

make a movie about the monster mash

.
Ben: I also want that!

Emily: Another very pensive-.

Ben: I, yeah.

I want the very-.

Lan: Also very sensitive, intense

Ben: No.

The Thing, the moment that fucked me up
so hard in this movie was the Ken saying

now beyond the usual, like, dogs are
dying and I sure as shit don't like that.

Emily: Yeah.

Ben: What fucked me up about that scene
more than just dead, like dying dogs,

was the one dog who was so very clearly
trying to chew and escape hole and knew

it was going on and was trying to escape.

And that level of fear and intention
just made it so much worse.

And that fucked me up seeing
that dog, like trying to get out.

Emily: Yeah, the dog death I think is the
most difficult thing for me in this movie.

But the body of horror
kind of balances it out.

Like the way that they do the
body or horror and the way that

these monsters are depicted.

this movie for me, it kind of has
everything like it's invasion of the body,

snatchers and alien et cetera, Cronenberg
like you have, all these different

factors of a great horror scenario.

And also different aspects of like the
isolation horror kind of space madness.

Horror, but you know, it's
in the middle of Antarctica.

It's the earth is in space.

Here we go.

And then and then we have the alien,
and then we have the doubt, You know,

we have zombie horror with like,
you know, the undead and trying to

lock the enemy outside, you know?

So there's so much good stuff here.

I feel like one of the reasons that this
is like a touchstone horror movie is that

it has so much of that and it is also
really well done from the acting to the

cinematography to the effects, you know?

Jeremy: The soundtrack.

Can we talk about soundtrack America
soundtrack that like is just like

tone setting from the very beginning.

That like pounding soundtrack in
the background the whole time is

just like, it won't let you relax.

Won't let you, won't let
you have a nice time.

Kevin: It's like you said, like
with like the dog actor thing.

I mean, like the music in this movie,
like it really sets the tone to like

get your brain where it wants you to go.

Like, more so than most
other scores, like Yeah.

The entire time you're just like,
Well, I dread everything, you know,

Emily: And it's not a lot going on either.

Like, it's not a whole, you know,
orchestral score or anything.

It's just like one synth doing
a bulb bulb bulb and that's it.

Lan: Yeah.

It's so minimal.

But effective.

Emily: Yeah.

Lan: It kind of reminds
me of Philip Glass.

Emily: A little bit.

A little bit.

Lan: Especially if you think about Philip
Glass's treatment of the Dracula score.

Ben: Yeah.

Lan: If anyone has watched that.

Kevin: Yeah.

Emily: Um, It's been a bit, but yeah.

Lan: Yeah.

It's.

I hate to use this term, but
it feels very lofi chill to

Ben: Right to study too.

Emily: like last minute study too.

Like it's great to crunch too.

Ben: Lofi chill beats to get devour to.

Kevin: it's, it's also kinda funny
cause it's like you expect when you

watch a John Carpenter movie that
you're gonna get a John Carpenter score.

Right.

And then he wanted somebody else to
do it and then they couldn't do it.

So then they got more coming and
mark's like, what would John Carpenter

do?

. It's like this very weird loop.

Yeah.

Emily: And it's interesting too because
for whatever reason this a science

question, science lab in Antarctica,
all of their backup generators they

have the blue lights, so with that
in the flare lights, you get the

perfect cyan magenta with the synth.

Ben: They were there to test
if the earth is flat or not.

Emily: well, but that one guy who's always
smoking pot, you wonder like maybe he uh,

Ben: I don't know how that man passed
whatever psychological evaluation.

He probably didn't have
to get into this space.

Emily: I don't, I don't know.

I think he was just a wild card.

They're like, Sure.

He, he had the drugs.

He's like, I'll bring the drugs,
and they're like, Okay, sure.

Whatever.

Ben: Back helicopter pilot.

That really sounds like code for, He's the
basis drug connection, but we gotta give

him some sort of title for tax purposes.

Emily: They're seeing if you
can grow pot in the end, taric.

That's different.

Ben: That's a good experiment.

Well, hey, that brings up a good
question because with climate, Do

you think they could do remake The
Thing now or do you think climate

change is just fucked it all up?

Emily: No, I mean
Antarctica is still whack.

Lan: It's ice.

That's ice.

Jeremy: I mean, yeah, and I think
like the climate change would play

a role in whatever the storm is
that's keeping them inside now.

They'd just be like, Ah man,
it's a freak century storm of

the century cuz climate change.

It's funny that you mentioned that.

Cause the one thing that I did think
is like, there's no way they're

making this movie now and not somebody
drawing a direct comparison to like,

Oh, but The Thing that The Thing
is going to do to the world is just

the same thing we are doing to it

.
Lan: I hate that.

Ben: There's no way I would read movie.

Like, I would think, like, you
don't even have the Norwegians.

Climate change made a glacier
break apart and The Thing woke

up even though it'd been frozen.

Emily: Yeah, I mean
that's, that is The Thing.

Kevin: They, They kinda, and
I, I didn't really watch it,

but like there's that, that.

Amazon Prime movie, The Tomorrow War
with Chris Pratt, where it's like

the time travel thing where the,

Jeremy: But we had all
agreed that didn't exist.

.
Ben: Well, we're fighting a war
in the future, so we need to

recruit soldiers from the past.

Kevin: Yeah.

And then it erase the
movie from ever happening.

But like, there is like, they do that too.

There's like, Oh, we gotta, we
gotta get to the Antarctic and st

get The Thing, The climate change

Jeremy: actually plotted that movie.

Kevin: Yes.

Jeremy: They're recruiting.

Oh my God.

It's . That's, that's the
plot of like a jokey B story.

And welcome to Nightvale, like our,

Emily: our Scientologists
involved in this.

Ben: It's the story of the
skit from an dimensional cable

episode of Rick and Lordy.

Right.

.
Kevin: But I mean, like, it is
like, if this movie were made

now, it wouldn't have been.

The Norwegians were drilling
to check things out.

It would just be like the beginning of
the day after tomorrow, and then it's

like, oh no, the aliens are loose.

Ben: Like-.

Kevin: That's,

Ben: I-.

Lan: Yeah.

Ben: Almost wish that like throwaway
line in the beginning was accurate.

Like yes, we are at war with the
Norwegians , The Thing has awoken and

it is declared allegiance to Norway.

out fights for the Norwegians shit.

Emily: Like, well, Sweden's got our back.

Ben: Like again.

That's what it is.

It's like.

Fucking weird ass boy and his dog,
just a Norwegian scientist and

his shape shifting Alien monster.

Emily: And he's played by Keanu Reeves.

So, copyright uh, 2022,
Progressively Horrified.

Ben: The go, The Thing
is played by Kean Reeves.

Emily: No, they're all played acute by ke

Ben: Norwegian scientists
is played by a scars guard.

It doesn't matter which one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Switch off a scene.

See if anyone fucking noticed.

Lan: Noticed

Ben: I love the ending of this movie.

Like I mean, Blair is right from the
beginning, like by the rules and logic of

this movie, no one can make it out alive.

Like you can't risk
anyone making out alive.

Emily: Yeah.

Ben: And that the movie commits to
not necessarily a happy ending, but

like the only successful ending.

Emily: Well, actually there is one
better ending, and that is Keith,

David and Kurt Russell make out

Jeremy: fair.

Ooh.

Right.

But

Kevin: the, the funny thing is, with
that ending though, if they're just

gonna stand there, if they're gonna
like just hang out until they freeze to

death, eventually someone's going to come
and see what happened to that station.

Emily: Yeah.

Kevin: And if one of them is
infected and fouls them out,

it just starts all over again.

Emily: Yeah.

Jeremy: Just wanted to go
throw themselves in the fire.

Yeah.

Emily: Yeah, I mean, I assume that they
do something like that or that they like

blow themselves up or something like that.

But I mean, I'd, I'd rather see them just
kind of look at each other and watch the

place burn than see them just explode.

Ben: I do appreciate how much of the movie
current Russell spends holding dynamite.

Like it's a baby doll.

Lan: How old are you supposed to hold it?

Emily: I mean, it is his like, security
baby, or it's his security baby

might, it's his security dynamite.

Like-.

Lan: It's fragile.

Emily: It's the one thing that he
has that is his trump card, and

he's like, I don't have a, like a
bag of holding for this dynamite.

I have my bullet belt and my
proton pack fucking flame throw.

And

Jeremy: I, I just love, I mean, not
that it's completely inaccurate,

but I love how much, It's like a
Loony Tunes bundle of dynamite too!

Emily: Right?

Lan: Yeah.

Yeah.

Jeremy: It's like universally
understood symbol.

This is fucking dynamite again.

Yeah.

Lan: It's a comical amount.

Ben: Yeah.

Anyone listening to this by any chance
is an Arctic researcher , please At me.

Is it common for Arctic Research
Expeditions to come equipped

with multiple flamethrowers?

Emily: Shit priests

Ben: that I, Standard
science equipment in the end?

Lan: Yeah.

Emily: Ship freezes.

Lan: Yeah, Ship freezes.

So Sinal.

Yeah, absolutely.

Jeremy: It's like saying, is it possible
for people who do uh, research in

Florida to not bring bug repellent?

Like I'm sure, I'm sure they bring plenty.

Emily: Ikes repellent.

Ben: You flamethrowers
if you're in Florida.

Emily: I mean that also propels books.

Jeremy: Emily, going off of your desire
to see uh, Kurt Russell and Keith David

Tenderly hold each other at the end.

I do admire the fact that as compared
to some of the movies we've watched

recently, this is a movie with a dozen
guys in a secluded place that manages

not to just pack in the gay jokes.

Emily: Yeah.

Ben: But also-.

Emily: Yeah, that's appreciated.

Ben: Delightfully, holo, erotic either.

Emily: I mean that fingering of the
face bit where Wilford Brimley like

puts his fingers into the dude's face.

That's uh,

Ben: sense to define anything
Wilford Brimley does is sexual

because for my own sanity, I don't,

Jeremy: I mean, I just define
everything he does as sexual.

Honestly.

Ben: a lot.

A Cajun accent and hard target
was definitely a panic drop.

Lan: Are we back on our target?

Emily: I'll give a hard target.

Lan: We're talk about one junk
club band damn movie a day.

And we've already
exceeded hard target, so.

Emily: Well that's The Thing is we're
just gonna talk about hard target.

It's like

Jeremy: this episode is got

Ben: sponsored by hard target.

Geez.

Right.

Jeremy: Our target, which
the, during Scotts speedman

Emily: after Dark Target.

Ben: Look, do you want us to look?

We could be talking about double team,
the movie he made with Dennis Rodman.

Lan: We could-.

Emily: If just say-.

Lan: Double team, double team's, great.

But not today.

No, that's my thing.

Emily: We've already said it.

Ben: Yeah.

Emily: We've set our, our target for,

Ben: That's right.

Emily: Yeah, there's not a lot
of gay jokes in this movie.

But I mean, I feel like if there was
anything other than the, the face

fingering, like there were a lot of
very intimate, I, I wouldn't say like

sensual, but there was like a lot of
intimate communication between these guys.

Like they seemed, you know,
very familiar with each other.

Jeremy: Not enough though.

I, I, not enough.

Once things start going down.

Emily: Well, Blair needs to
learn how to like wander off by-.

Ben: I don't think, and this may be a
reason why, if I have to be, you know,

weird ranking, ranking, which that we're
recording that Sunday I would put Alien

over this because I think the themes and
the societal message of Alien is stronger.

I don't know how much like this movie is
about something larger or communicating

themes beyond paranoia or exploring a
interesting concept, but that concept

is so interestingly explored and the
execute, the horror and the tension

and the paranoia so well that even
without larger themes, I still like

the viewing experience is just so
good because even if it's not quite

as narratively ambitious, it just.

Like it just succeeds and is
executed so, so fucking well.

Lan: Yeah.

Emily: Yeah.

I would agree for sure.

Kevin: I, I love Alien and I, and I think,
I do think that there are times where if

someone wanted to accuse it of feeling
slow, slow, I wouldn't argue that too

hard, but this one is just like, I feel
like this one kind like just moves along.

It's really tense the whole time.

I feel like that's the advantage
it would have, you know, over if

you's exciting, compare the two.

Ben: It is like, it's such an exciting
open, like Arctic Wasteland, a single

dog racing through the snow, being
chased and shot at by a helicopter, you

know, playing horseshoe with grenades.

It's such a great,
exciting, mysterious open

Emily: except for the
batteries not included, but.

Like I, if you just start after
the battery's not included,

UFO and just go to The Thing.

Yes.

And then, yeah, like, that's how
I would recommend this movie.

Ben: How long was Wilford
Brimley The Thing?

Like how quickly was he putting
together this entire s ufo?

Kevin: I don't know, but did anybody
like laugh uncontrollably when

he, they opened the window of the
shack he's in and the noose is like

right in frame in front of him.

Emily: I didn't laugh, but I did exclaim.

Kevin: I was like, I didn't
know how to feel about that.

Cause like, I feel like it was supposed
to be a joke and I fell for it.

Jeremy: The threat of the noose
as like, Yes, he is, he's made

himself a noose just in case.

He just needs to go ahead and hang
himself to make sure that he doesn't,

you know, get gotten by The Thing.

Is operating at the level that I would
rather this movie generally operate.

Like the stuff that's going in this movie
that, that works for me is the stuff that

like, doesn't need a long explanation.

We get it.

We get what him making a noose means.

Emily: Yeah, we can do the,
the visual math just fine.

Jeremy: Yeah.

I think that also got a reaction from me.

I, it might have been a chuckle, but
it was more of a like shock chuckle.

Emily: It's like, it was like a, oh.

Lan: How proud.

Emily: Although with the juxtaposition
of that and then like, I don't know.

I feel like the noose being between him
and the door, although there wasn't really

anywhere else in that shack, I feel like a
little bit of that was him communicating.

Please don't leave me in here that long

I am going cabin fevers crazy.

Because also with earlier when uh, God,
I can't remember his name, the guy got

shot in the leg by the, the Norwegian
where he was asking Nauls to like turn

down the music because he got shot.

Mm-hmm.

.
Jeremy: He shot Bennings.

Emily: Yeah, Bennings.

Yeah, the Ben.

That was kind of a mood though.

Like Bennings is like, I, Come on man.

Jeremy: Could you turn down the music?

Kevin: I also love that the music is
so loud that you can't really hear his

response when he's like, Yeah, I got it.

Like, I'll, it, You can't
really hear him say it.

Emily: Like, I feel for both
of them in that situation.

Also nus with the roller skates.

Hell yeah.

If I mean, seriously, like if
you had, if you were in like a

scientific uh, installation with
a bunch of Car Creek floors like

that, you'd need some ramps maybe.

Unless he was that good, you know,
he could do like the hop skip.

But anyway.

Jeremy: I think it's interesting
the fact that we do have two people

of color in this cast and there's
not like a big deal made about it.

I think, you know, being a paranoid
thriller, there's plenty of opportunity

for them to be like, He's not our type.

You shouldn't trust him.

And thankfully they, they do not.

They keep going right past that.

Um, I think like this movie
manages to avoid, diving too

deeply into the Maddox stuff like
that without it seeming like, it,

Kevin: it's struggling.

It avoids, it avoids feeling
like it was made in 1982 . Yeah.

Like, cause, Right.

Cause that's the kind of stuff
that like would've been in, in

so many movies and then like now
you'd be like, well, at the time.

Just sort of side steps, that stuff.

Ben: Again, the effect, I mean, there's
a reason it's still held as the BART

today, like every creature design
and body horror and effect, like, it

holds up, It still looks incredible.

Like this is one of the greatest
monster designs like ever put on film.

Lan: Yeah, absolutely.

Ben: Heads coming out of things.

Eyeballs, teeth, like this is just like
impossible Biology put to film in a way.

Lan: It's not, it's not impossible.

Biology, I think some of the
inspiration came from Oh, ge there

was a giant tumor this woman had.

Oh God.

Yeah.

Ho ho.

And this thing, this tumor there
moved because of just tissue cells.

It did have teeth.

It did have eyes like it was
something outta like this,

but it's just human cells.

So I don't think it's impossible.

you know.

Ben: If my head starts growing
spider legs, I'm gonna be so

mad and I'm gonna blame Youlan.

Lan: That's fine.

That's what I'm here for.

Emily: Yeah.

Lan will have the uh, get the uh,
credit for the medical discovery.

Lan: Yeah, that's fine.

Emily: Under spider head.

Lan: Yeah.

Well, Spider head.

That's perfect.

Ben: Spider head.

Jeremy: Is interesting DNA
with malignant that way.

I feel like.

Ben: Oh my god.

Emily: Well, malignant, malignant had
that sort of conjoined twin situation and

you know, the tumor that you're talking
about and I can't remember the name of it.

I, I remember looking it up multiple
times cuz I was like, every time I look

up body horror for reference, I'm like-.

Jeremy: That's our Emily!

Emily: Am I gonna, am I gonna jump
into this documenting reality thread?

Uh,

Lan: Yeah.

Ben: That thing where a
movie is uh, batshit bonkers.

Lan: Yeah.

It was a ovarian humor.

Emily: Yes, it was an ovarian humor.

That had like a certain amount of
teeth and, and it wasn't, had nothing

to do with Game Eats or anything
like, it was just this one kind of

tumor that just made everything.

Yeah.

Um, you think about stuff like this
that is, that this kind of body

horror that comes later, like you
think about a Kira that is the same

kind of body horror and the same kind
of presentation, but this movie is

a live action movie with practical
effects that is just as effective, if

not slightly more effective than like
the weird giant flesh baby in a Kira.

Ben: know, I mean, when you have
like dog heads coming out of good

cages, like just crazy gnarly stuff.

Emily: Oh, cool.

Jeremy: Yeah, it's fucked up.

It's my, yeah, I feel like we've, we've
covered pretty much everything on there.

I mean, I guess the next question
now I feel like I know the answer

to this is would you guys recommend
people if they haven't watched

The Thing or even if they have-.

Ben: Oh my God!

Jeremy: They can watch it right now.

Emily: Yeah.

Lan: A million times.

Yeah.

Kevin: When I first started dating my
wife, she said that she'd never seen it.

And I was like, well, buckle up.

There we go.

Lan: Yeah, that's, yeah, that's
the correct, that's the correct.

Are you having trouble?

Kevin: I think my cat's about to
throw up, make its own little thing.

Lan: You good?

Jeremy: Oh no!

Don't trust it.

Lan: You good?

Kevin: Okay.

We'll see.

Jeremy: Get the flamethrower.

Lan: Don't let any of the
kennel of the other cats.

Kevin: It's a house full of senior cats.

There's always something going on.

Emily: Aww.

Kevin: Yeah.

Yeah.

Emily: I love that.

Kevin: The youngest is 10, so.

Oh.

But yeah, absolutely like nine thumbs up.

Just like if you've never
seen it prepare for a time.

Emily: Yeah.

Kevin: Prepare for a time.

Emily: I mean, mind the triggers,
you know, like it's, again,

dog death, lots of animal.

I mean, the, there is more gruesome
human death than dog death.

And the dog, I mean, the dog that
turns into a spider basically

becomes a different dog.

But it's still gruesome, you know?

Jeremy: Yeah.

I love this movie.

This is one that as we were getting ready
to watch it, I was like, So, Alicia, we

are, we're watching The Thing this week.

Do you wanna watch that with
me, or did you wanna, She's

like, Nope, I'm out seeing it.

I need to see it again.

Ben: The

Lan: Gore's everything.

Oh, okay.

That's fair.

At least you asked was nice about it.

So

Ben: I know my partner has no interest
in these kinds of horror films.

Lan: Oh, yeah.

Off topic, Ben, did you
observe Yo Kippur today?

Ben: No because I've been moving and
I figured I had enough stress going

on in my life to try to also fast.

Lan: Okay.

That's good.

That's fair.

Jeremy: Also, off the, on the same topic
my, my six year old discovered using

the calendar that Yom Kippur is a thing.

And I was explaining some of to her
yesterday, and then today we were

at the park and there was a group
of kids that came to the park to

come play, and she was like, Do you
think they're here for Yom Kippur?

I was like, I don't think Yo, Yo Kippur
is not really like a park holiday, buddy.

Lan: No, you don't.

Ben: Hungry and-.

Lan: Atone.

Feel bad.

Yeah.

It, it, it's one of those things
where people ask like, Do I

wish you a happy Yom Kippur?

I'm like, No.

You know, you don't.

Yeah.

You wish me, you know, hope my fast
goes quick or, or something like that.

Ben: My phone today changed
Yom Kippur to Tom Kipper.

I'm like, that's the new holiday mascot.

Lan: Love it.

Love it, love him.

Emily: I love Tom Kipper.

Jeremy: Is it a fish?

Is it Kip?

No.

Lan: God.

There is someone who just made Rom Kapur.

Yeah.

Ben: Rom Kapur The Space

Lan: Night.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

G'mar chatima tova.

Yeah.

It's pretty great.

Yeah.

Ben: I wanna see the new Star Trek show.

Just put in an alien named Yom
Kippur and see if anyone notices.

Lan: Anyway, it just made
me think cuz I finally ate.

Cuz I was on a, I was on a plane
and, and I came home and it's

just been a long day buddy.

Ben: Yeah.

I'm not a great Jewish person.

No,

Lan: it's okay.

It's okay.

I, I was gonna say, I'm sorry
you couldn't observe it, but

uh, you weren't missing hu Yeah.

Uh,

..
Ben: I missed out on being real hungry.

Lan: Missed out buddy.

It sucks.

Ben: But I'm, I've been spending
the last like, two weeks kind

of just stressed out my mind.

I don't need to be adding like, snic
commercial level, hangry to that.

Lan: No, don't, don't need that.

You don't need that at all.

You deserve better.

Anyway, it just made me think
to just ask real quick before

I forgot cuz I will forget.

And I try not to forget my, my hes so.

Ben: Yes.

I like to go to service at
least in the morning, but-.

Lan: Right, right.

Ben: But this year was
too much going on all day.

Lan: I get it.

I get it.

Yeah.

Jeremy: I mean, moving is sort
of its own atonement, right?

Emily: Yeah.

Lan: I did this to myself.

Ben: Hey, everyone think The Thing would
fast from consuming people on Yom Kippur?

Lan: You think he fast?

Yeah That's good.

Emily: I dunno if about said
deeper symbolism of that.

Jeremy: The Thing obviously gets people's
like, memories and mannerisms and stuff.

You think it's, it's picked up a lot of
like, various religious knowledge and

Emily: I think on a long enough
timeline, The Thing would be like, Okay,

so we have these things and we have
those things, and all these things,

or like doing their, you know, their.

Ben: That's what I'm saying.

I, I think there could be a version of the
story from The Things point of view where

it's just him routinely absorbing these
memories and discovering the beauty and

the wonderousness of the human experience,
but then immediately being set on fire for

flamethrower before we can explain that.

Emily: Cause all it can do is go,

Ben: ah, it doesn't get long enough.

They're just like, ah, the blood
went crazy, flamethrower time.

Emily: Like being drunk at a party and
thinking that you're rocking out and

you're just like rolling on the floor.

Right.

That's The Thing.

Perspective,

Jeremy: My question with the, The Thing
is like they don't ever attack each other

so clearly they are somehow aware of
like which ones of them are The Thing.

So like-.

Ben: That would've been so good.

Jeremy: I do wonder if they have different
consciousnesses or they have some sort of

mitochondrial network thing going on, or-.

Ben: I need them to not know because
Can you imagine just like The Things

society, so society like the faux
pa and the awkwardness of a thing.

Another thing?

Emily: Oh shit.

I didn't know you were fainted.

Oh shit.

I'm sorry.

Ben: I didn't know you were saying
goodbye and continuing to walk in

the same direction like times 10.

Jeremy: Listen, I missed thing.

I'm only one of us.

Oh shit.

Sorry.

It's like,

Ben: oh my God.

This is, you're the the

Emily: fingers are already
halfway through the face.

You were like, actually,

Kevin: Oh, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Sorry.

I'm sorry.

Sorry.

Ben: I was already turning my
stomach into a, like my tos.

I went into a mouth.

oh boy.

Do I have egg on my face?

.
Jeremy: You thought it was an actual dog?

Did you see how suspiciously I
was lurking around the hallways?

Yeah.

Oh man.

Ben: Bitchiest dog.

Like just in behavior.

The dog itself is a good boy.

Jeremy: Well, yeah, this is a good dog.

That's a fucking stellar dog actor, man.

Emily: I wanna see a movie with that dog.

Yeah, it's And the cat from a
girl who walks home alone at.

Ben: But that dog just
like walking around.

Yeah, you got a new nuclear code.

You can tell me I'm a dog.

What am I gonna do?

A nuclear coach?

Lan: Definitely not put them in.

Jeremy: Yeah, I think, I think
we definitely all agree that

this movie is worth checking out.

Absolutely.

Ben: Yeah.

I can't a tight of the genre.

Lan: I'm probably gonna watch it tomorrow.

Actually, no, I I won't put it on par.

Fuck it.

Let's go.

Ben: This is, if you are a horror movie
fan, this is on a your must watch list.

Jeremy: Absolutely.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Should be.

It should be an annual tradition
as it is at the great British uh,

bases in Antarctica where they watch
it during midwinter every year.

Ben: So I thought you were
gonna say British Bake and I'm

like, I don't remember those
episodes, but I'm glad they exist.

Well, they do.

Lan: Well watch a

Jeremy: Cake that looks like The Thing.

Oh my God.

Never Seen You one.

Ben: I love that episode of Nail Its

Jeremy: Into the Gate.

Ben: Oh,

Jeremy: all right.

Uh, All that said, let's, uh, let's
get some recommendations uh, Lan

for people who enjoy this movie.

What other movie would you recommend?

Lan: Hard Target, so,

Yeah, if they enjoyed this,
probably check out the Blob remake.

The original blob does not hold
up, but the blob remake is so good.

You don't need the original.

And then obviously uh, David
Cronenberg's's the Fly.

Jeremy: Oh, yeah, Yeah.

We'll be talking about
that in a couple of weeks.

Lan: Yeah, those are definitely my two.

Jeremy: Yeah.

Kev, what have you got?

Kevin: You know, I don't know that
they're like, you know, outside

of like what's already come up.

Like, I don't know that there's any that
I can, like, think of the top of my head,

but maybe, and maybe it's because we were,
you guys just did Event Horizon, but I

always like to recommend uh, Sunshine.

Oh.

Which is-

Lan: OK.

Jeremy: That was what I recommended
on our event Horizon episode.

Okay,

Kevin: That makes sense too.

But I just sort of like the kind
of like confined space and paranoia

and just sort of thing that I
think that may have snuck in there.

And that's a movie I love, but I
know a lot of people don't love.

So, uh,

Lan: well, it, it, it definitely
flew underneath the radar.

This is before like Chris Evans,
like, really, really blew off.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Though, I mean, Yeah.

That's a good one though.

Yeah.

Kevin: I don't think about that.

Jeremy: And it is actually, I,
I pitched that movie as being as

smart as Event Horizon thinks it is.

Like it is actually.

Kevin: Yeah.

I mean, I mean, like, it's a smart movie.

Yeah.

That's, that's a movie where they did
actually talk to scientists and they

just got to a point where they were
just like, Okay, well we're gonna have

to ignore some of your stuff just to
have the basic premise of the movie, but

there's still some science in here, so.

Right, right.

Yeah.

Jeremy: Ben, what have you got?

What do you recommend?

Ben: I'm gonna recommend
wear Woos within for more.

Yes.

Who do we trust?

The Locked room.

Anyone could be the monster.

Fun.

Yeah.

Emily: Nice.

Jeremy: I just haven't seen that.

That's on my list though.

Emily: Yeah.

I been

Lan: so werewolves within is really good.

Yeah.

Emily: Good to know.

It's been on my list cuz of Harvey Gee in
and I've been wanting to watch it, but um,

Jeremy: and waiting for it to
show up on streaming somewhere.

Emily: Yeah, same.

Jeremy: I think my recommendation
and uh, this is only partially

because they, they share a fantastic
actor, but it's, they live which is

another paranoid thriller of sorts.

It's much more of an open world and
it's much sillier than The Thing.

Lan: Um, Do you think Keith, David
is better in they live or the thing.

Emily: The Thing.

Jeremy: I think he,

Emily: No, you didn't ask me, but

Jeremy: same character.

Yeah.

I Nice.

Pretty much.

Yeah.

I think he has more room to do stuff in.

They live.

He is like really B level in this
movie, in this movie's cast until

like, he survives at the end.

So for a good chunk of this movie, he's
just kind of popping in and But yeah,

they live, he's much more central.

And then you get uh, of course Rowdy
Roddy Piper, who is always a good time.

Yeah.

Um,

Emily: Uh, So I would recommend.

If you like horror games,
check out that Dead space.

Yeah, Yeah, for sure.

Dead Space is, is like The
Thing, Alien and, and basically

everything, everything is there,

Jeremy: Dead Space is also what
a event and Horizon thinks it is.

Emily: It wishes it was Dead Space
, but Dead Space has that, like, it

has it all just like The Thing does
except it has a little bit more.

Cuz it's in space.

The space may be dead.

I don't know.

That's the, that's, I
haven't seen the end of it.

That, and there's a really
great adaptation of at the

mountains of badness by Ga Tanabe.

It is a uh, am amongus
distributed by Dark Horse.

Check it out.

Really beautiful and
cinematic, Highly recommend.

So, uh, check out that book.

Jeremy: Uh, that also does recommend,
uh, remind me if you haven't

listened to uh, the White Vault.

The White Vault also takes place
at a research base in the middle of

nowhere and has a horrible horror
things happening to people where they

can't trust anybody and can't get out.

it's worth checking out as well.

Kevin: Also, Green Room.

Ben: Yeah.

Oh.

If you want a movie that will
just go tanks and we will

just freak you the fuck out.

Yeah.

Green Room.

Holy fuck.

Jeremy: Nice.

Why Patrick Stewart and
Grizz from, We Bear Bears

Emily: shit, and I have to

Jeremy: Why are you Nazis?

Emily: Oh no!!!!

Lan: Yeah.

Oh, spoiler.

Yeah.

Nazis.

Jeremy: I mean, not much of a spoiler.

Ben: But, Oh man.

Yeah.

Oh, he, well.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

That is the guy from Green
Room is the voice of Grizz.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, he gets, he gets so sliced open.

Jeremy: Uh, Leon, where can people
find out uh, more about you and, and

what you do and what you make online?

Lan: Probably Twitter or
Instagram or email, whatever.

I mean, I'm not hard to find, so
my Instagram is just my name, Lan

Pits, my Twitter is pitched off.

Pi doublets, e dre, o f I like pun.

Uh, It just hit me up there.

Follow me.

I'm usually yelling about some sort of
wrestling or my cats and fun announcements

that I've been sitting on for a while.

Hopefully I can talk about 'em soon.

Cause I hate sitting on shit.

I mean, we all hate
sitting on shit, but Right.

You know.

Know.

Emily: Yeah.

And with that many senior cats.

Lan: Yeah, Yeah, exactly.

A lot of cats.

A lot of cats stuff.

But yeah.

Uh, And then, you know, my, my regular
day job working at a game spot,

so just check out my stuff there.

Jeremy: Oh, nice.

Nice.

And uh, Kev, where can people find out
more about you and what you do online?

Kevin: I would say, yeah, my
Twitter's the best place for that,

which is at Electric Dracula.

Ben: It's not a great name.

Emily: Yeah, yeah, for real.

Nice get!

Kevin: I was watching Monster Squad
while drinking one day, and he

got, and the Dracula gets struck by
Lightning, and I was like, There it is.

Lan: That's pretty great.

Uh Oh.

Is that underscore?

Kevin: There's an underscore
in my Instagram, but my, my

Twitter does not have one.

Lan: Electric.

Oh.

Oh.

I didn't include the r I'm done.

I'm doing it all now.

It's great.

Jeremy: Electric Dacula is
a whole different thing.

That's perfect.

Lan: Yeah.

There we go.

Electric Dracula.

So, yeah.

Thank you for having me on.

I'm sorry.

I'm, dead and will just continue to
die until I get home on the uh, 16th.

So...

Ben: oh no.

Hang in there buddy.

Lan: I'll try.

I'll try and bud.

Jeremy: I think we're, we're all
a bit run down at this point, but

this was a, a good movie to do that
with because I think it gives us

all enough energy to get through it.

Yeah.

Yeah, we didn't,

Kevin: none of us, none of us had
to go into like a rage at any point.

We were just like, Yeah,
this movie's Tight Dude's.

Lan: Yeah.

Was tight.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Jeremy: I didn't.

Emily: Our review Tight.

Jeremy: Had a couple of fuck this movie
uh, we used recently And this wasn't one

Ben: No.

No, this would've been uh,
like fuck Exclamation point.

This movie!

Emily: This movie!

Or this movie, fucks.

Lan: Yeah.

There it is.

Yeah.

There it's.

Jeremy: All right.

And as for the rest of us, you
can find Emily at Mega Off on

Twitter and Mega underscore Mo
on Instagram and@megaoff.net.

Ben is at Ben the con.

Their website is Ben Con Comics.

And finally you can find me on Twitter
and Instagram at j Rome five eight

and my website@jeremywhitley.com.

And of course, the podcast is on
Patreon, It Progressively Horrified

or yes on . The podcast is on Patreon.

It Progressively Horrified our
website@progressivelyhorrified.transistor.fm

and on Twitter at prog whore pod
where we would love to hear from you.

Speaking of loving to hear from
you, we would love it if you

would rate and review this podcast
wherever you were listening to it.

Five Stars would help us gain more
followers, help more people find the show.

And thanks again so much for
Lan and Kev for joining us.

This was a Ball Guys.

You, Thanks for having us.

Lan: Thank you guys.

Yeah,

Emily: it was awesome.

It was tight.

Jeremy: We'll have to talk about more
things and stuff some other time.

Kevin: Yeah,

Emily: we could talk about this stuff.

Jeremy: The stuff!

Emily: A different movie.

Jeremy: Right?

Kevin: Another classic.

Emily: Yes.

Jeremy: I mean, I do love, I do
much prefer talking about movies,

about things to movies about.

Its so..

Emily: Yeah.

Lan: Fair, Fair.

Emily: Yeah.

Jeremy: uh, Thanks as always to
all of you all for listening, and

until next time, stay horrified.

Alicia: Progressively horrified
as created by Jeremy Whitley

and produced by Alicia Whitley.

This episode featured the horror squad,
Jeremy, Ben, and Emily, Special guests.

Lan and Kevin.

All opinions expressed by the
commentators are solely their own

and do not represent the intent or
opinion of the filmmakers Nor did they

represent the employers institutions
or publishers of the commentators.

Our theme music is epic darkness by
mario colo six and was provided royalty

free from pixabay if you liked this
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and you can get in touch with us on
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email@progressivelyhorrifiedatgmail.com.

thanks for listening Bye.