Digressively Horrified: Near Dark did a Heroes

Hey. Remember Heroes on NBC? Remember that?

Jeremy: Apparently there was like
a planned longer version of this

ending where like the sister starts
to walk out with them and then

the sister's hand catches fire
implying that she got bit by uh-

Emily: Yeah, fuck that.

Jeremy: Bit by young boy back there.

Erica: Cause also, like-

Jeremy: Kathryn Bigelow pointed
out that that won't make any sense.

Emily: Yeah.

Yeah.

Erica: They know how to cure it!

Ben: Yeah.

There's no stakes for that.

You're right.

It's just like all right.

Load it up when you got
to do the blood again.

Right?

Yeah.

Jeremy: It's funny that we've
related y'know this so much to Heroes

because of Adrian Pasdar, but it's
just like in Heroes when they just

had a cure for death for awhile.

And it was just like, well, none
of this matters, none of the stakes

of this matter at all anymore.

Erica: really do not remember that show.

Did Adrian Pasdar, at the end of season
one, go out like Ikaris in Eternals where

he just flies into the sun or something.

Emily: Probably?

Erica: No.

Like, um- No, he flies up and explodes.

Doesn't he fly into the sky and explode?

Emily: There's a point where he flies
up into the sky, but he doesn't explode.

He just leaves a dust cloud behind him.

Cause he's like going so fast.

Erica: Oh, I thought he
like saved everyone by

Ben: There's one season where he just-

Erica: By like, taking
a nuke into the sky.

Ben: And he's like, I'm the
flying Jesus politician now.

And then I think they completely
forgot about that two episodes later.

Emily: Was that season two?

Ben: That was season three.

We were in full on not good territory.

Emily: Oh yeah, no.

I don't know anything beyond season
one other than like I watched

the beginning of season two.

And then I was like, Nope.

Ben: That writers' strike hit 'em hard.

Emily: Yeah, sure did.

Erica: Oh, it sure did.

Jeremy: Yeah, at the end of that season
they established that you can use Claire's

blood to heal anybody from being dead.

Erica: Why not?

Ben: A trick so good they repeated
it in Star Trek: Into Darkness.

Erica: Aaaaahhhhh....

They sure did.

Emily: I don't even remember that.

Erica: Yeah, because you can't sit
with the pathos of a character being

dead like they did in the other
movies, you have to instantly cure

them so that you can't be sad that
they're dead for even five minutes,

Emily: God,

Jeremy: I definitely remember
watching Into Darkness and being

like, oh, this is interesting.

They're doing it where Kirk dies
instead of Spock, like that could be,

have a lot of interesting, oh Nope.

They fixed it.

They fixed Kirk.

He's not dead anymore.

Ben: That movie is a one out
of five for me, if only because

they repeat the yell "Khan!"

At the top of your lungs reference.

And I personally, as someone with the
last name Kahn didn't need that shit

perpetuated into the 21st century.

Erica: For me, that movie is a one out
of five, just because it reminds me

a lot of things like Mary Shelley's
Frankenstein or like Alexander, where it's

like, oh, you know what the beats are,
but you didn't understand any of them.

Emily: Yeah.

Erica: And you just did it again,
but like with truly no knowledge of

what you're doing, you're just having
people stand in the right place.

Ben: I remember he just being like, man,
I'm pretty sure Kirk has already gone

through two complete character arcs.

And I think we're still in Act One!

Erica: Yeah.

Imagine in the sixties you have someone
who's like, Hey, if we take all of the

most powerful genes around the earth
and combine them to make the best

human this guy's not going to be white.

And then in 2000, whatever,
they're like, what if it's the

whitest man humanly possible?

What if we get the most English
person we can possibly get.

Ben: I'm not saying The Rock should have
played Khan in Star Trek: Into Darkness.

Emily: Why not?

Ben: But can you imagine the rock
and Star Trek: Into Darkness?

Erica: I felt Dave Batista.

Ben: Oooh!

Batista as Khan?

Oh, I'm into that.

Emily: That's playing
with power right there

Jeremy: He's in a lab-
in a lab coat on him.

Erica: Yes!

Jeremy: And see what happens.

And just have his chest?

Erica: I feel like The Rock
doesn't kno w how to not smirk.

Emily: He should be Q.

Ben: Batista would focus
on giving it gravitas.

Jeremy: I like the idea that
they go to this, planet full of

Khan's genetically altered people.

And it's, it's just a planet
full of professional wrestlers.

Emily: Yeah.

Like that episode of Futur
ama with the Amazons.