Event Horizon
===

[00:00:00] Alicia: Hey, just a heads up the episode you're about to listen to is about Event Horizon directed by Paul W. S. Anderson and written by Phillip Eisner. Some relevant trigger warnings for this movie include gore space and body horror, and our host ranked This movie as "spooky, I guess. I don't really know." If you'd like to learn more about the movie discussed this evening, please visit our website progressively horrified.transistor.fm for show notes and a transcript. After the spooky music, we'll talk about the movie in full. So be forewarned, there will be spoilers. Now let's get onto the show.

[00:00:51] Jeremy: Good evening and welcome to Progressively Horrified the podcast where we old horror to progressive standards it never agreed to. Tonight, we're talking about the weird sci-fi nineties masterpiece question mark that is Event Horizon. I am your host, Jeremy Whitley. And with me tonight, I have a panel of cinephiles and cenobites. First joining us for our sci-fi Halloween romp, they're here to challenge the sexy werewolf, sexy vampire binary. My co-host Ben Kahn. Ben, how are you tonight?

[00:01:20] Ben: What a rare gem from the era of amazing practical effects and absolute dog shit CGI. Yeah. Like right from the get go. This movie is letting you know what it's about. Like look at our gorgeously constructed practical sets, and now look at there's weird uncanny valley shit floating in space.

[00:01:40] Jeremy: Absolutely.

[00:01:41] Emily: Looked a lot better on my VHS. Let me tell you what.

[00:01:44] Jeremy: Boy, I think that's gonna be a theme tonight. And uh, the cinnamon role of cenobites our cohost Emily Martin. How are you tonight, Emily?

[00:01:51] Emily: Well, speaking of Cenobites, I have not seen Hellraiser bloodlines. I don't know if it's the same movie, but it, I mean, this is probably a better version of that.

[00:01:59] Jeremy: I mean, Sam Neill is definitely a cenobite in this movie by the end. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:02:03] Ben: I feel like in the theme of parallel development, like while they were working on Jason X, someone was working on like Hellraiser in space. And then this movie came out and they just in the frustration just threw their screenplay into a trash can.

[00:02:18] Jeremy: I mean, all I can figure is that this is Hellraiser in space. The same way the same director took the concept of Resident Evil and just was like, what the fuck ever? I'm gonna make a different movie. Yeah. And you know, they just kept that as Resident Evil, this one, at some point they were like, it's not Hellraiser anymore.

Emily drew the short straw on the recap tonight. So she is gonna tell us endeavor to explain to us what it is that actually happened in this movie.

[00:02:42] Ben: Take us on this trip to Space Hell. The best Hell.

[00:02:46] Emily: Thank you, Jeremy and Ben. I will do my best. Um, I will preface this by saying that I love this movie and once I got over myself and stopped showing all my friends, Eraserhead in high school, I showed them this movie.

[00:02:58] Jeremy: Um, I, I will say I prefer there's a hundred percent to Eraserhead.

[00:03:01] Emily: I will watch this movie over and over again. I will not watch Eraserhead over and over again.

[00:03:05] Ben: Oh, I had a blast watching this movie. I feel like if you were to describe it on paper and what it's trying to be, I'd be like, this sounds tense, creepy, horrifying. This should be one of my favorite horror movies. And then I watch and I'm like, wow, there is something making me laugh like every five minutes.

[00:03:25] Emily: Richard T. Jones.

[00:03:26] Ben: There's some real silly choices made in this film.

[00:03:29] Jeremy: Richard T. Jones is in the film Aliens and nobody else is.

[00:03:33] Emily: Yeah.

[00:03:34] Jeremy: He is playing this like, the sidekick crew members from the first Alien. And nobody else is playing that same, that same movie.

[00:03:41] Ben: He is acting his absolute hardest in every moment. Like he is acting like he knows he could die at any second in this script.

[00:03:48] Emily: And spoilers. He doesn't. But we'll get to that now. This film is directed by the prolific Paul W. S. Anderson.

[00:03:59] Jeremy: I had seen this movie before I did not realize it was directed by Paul W. S. Anderson of whom we have seen several movies, including the original Resident Evil film and the name Paul Anderson popped up on there and he didn't have the W. S. yet and I was like, I wonder if this is the same man. And half an hour into this movie, I knew for sure that it was.

[00:04:18] Emily: Oh yeah, you don't need to Google this. You don't need to go on IMDb.

[00:04:22] Ben: I did not know he was the director. As soon as his name popped up in the credits I wrote down my notes. Uh-oh. Buckle up, chucklefucks.

[00:04:32] Emily: Well, what Paul Anderson, I just have one thing to ask you what happened to you in a hallway? Because you're really good at these fucked up hallways.

[00:04:44] Jeremy: He's not into liminal spaces.

[00:04:45] Emily: I guess, I mean-.

[00:04:46] Ben: Oh, so that meat grinder hallway, so good. Oh, such a good hallway. The sets in this movie are amazing. Every scene is an amazing lived in utterly practical set, even just for like, Hey, we're talking in a room, let's make it real weird and white and with a big green Zordon tube. Why? I don't know, but it's gonna look cool.

[00:05:08] Emily: This movie looks so cool.

[00:05:09] Ben: Oh, it's great. And cool looking movie.

[00:05:11] Emily: This movie is written by Philip Eisner and I think this is his first writing credit, according to IMDb.

[00:05:18] Jeremy: First of four, that's it.

[00:05:20] Emily: First of four. Yeah. The second one is fire starter to rekindled. I'm sure that one was a, oh, it was a miniseries. Oh, blew me away. Actually it, I don't know if it did it. I've never seen it. We have Mutant Chronicles and sweet girl, 2021, baby. I haven't seen that either, but,

[00:05:35] Ben: um, I'm sorry. Did you say mutant Chronicles?

[00:05:37] Emily: Yes.

[00:05:38] Ben: My former camp counselor is in that movie.

[00:05:40] Emily: Nice.

[00:05:41] Ben: He gets killed off real bad

[00:05:44] Emily: Alas. what the movie does have, As well as Paul W. S. Anderson is Mr. Laurence, Larry Fishburne. We got Sam Neill. We got Joely Richardson, Jason Isaacs. Kathleen Quinlan, Jack Noseworthy. John Pertwee no, excuse me, Sean Pertwee, John Pertwee's his dad. Dr. I think the second doctor, maybe the third one. I don't know. But Sean Pertwee is, is not anyone's doctor. And Richard T. Jones, who, as we have said is an Aliens.

[00:06:14] Ben: He was the third doctor.

[00:06:16] Emily: Oh, thank you. All right. So we start this film in space. Where else? The film frontier? Yes, indeed. A black hole intro introduces us to this film and it brings us through the Event Horizon to an exposition crawl. Apparently by 2015, we have colonized the moon. Whoops.

[00:06:37] Jeremy: Way more exposition than necessary here.

[00:06:39] Emily: Yes. We get a lot of uh, progress of humanity which culminates in the worst space disaster of the entirety of our adventure through space, which isn't so bad because it's just a ship exploding. Um, And this is the titular Event Horizon, an experimental spaceship. And here we are in 2047, finding out what happened to that. Enter Dr. Weir played by Sam Neill. I will be calling him Sam Neill for most of this recap. He misses his dead wife in his space room on the Nostromo I mean, space hotel over earth. Um,

[00:07:13] Jeremy: Did you get a series of like fake out, wake up nightmares and then lots of jumps for no reason. This movie's filled with auditory jumps.

[00:07:22] Emily: Yeah. We're going back and forth a lot. But he's in the space hotel-.

[00:07:25] Ben: Because loves a good fake out dream.

[00:07:29] Emily: Yes. So he's in this space hotel-.

[00:07:32] Ben: Sorry.

[00:07:32] Emily: Because he's waiting for the Nostromo I mean, the ne- nebuchan I mean, um, the Lewis and Clark to take him on a search and rescue mission because, Hey, guess what? The Event Horizon is back baby. We meet the crew of the uh, Lewis and Clark. We get to meet pilot, Smitty Smith, angry British men. We meet the XO Starck who is mildly haunted, medical assistant Peters, the extremely haunted Mama Bear uh, her son as well? Question mark? Justin, the Baby Bear. Rescue technician, Cooper, lifesaver, heartbreaker, and arguably the least haunted person in outer space. Dr. D. J. Trauma. I'm really a big fan of Dr. D. J. Trauma, especially when he spins at and kill. Yeah. Really good. Experimental D. J.. I love his sets. Check him out. Its D DNA lounge on Mondays.

[00:08:20] Jeremy: I don't know who saw Jason Isaacs and was like, you're a haunted doctor and of course he was like, yes. And they were like, and your name is D. J.. Like what? the haunted doctor? Yes. Jason isaacs's got it. Named D. J.. What?

[00:08:36] Emily: I think the D is for doctor, but I couldn't, I, I don't know.

[00:08:42] Ben: Can you imagine if you went in for surgery and then like you had Jason Isaacs and like that was the kind of bedside manner and just like gazed looking down at you. Like I would be terrified if Jason Isaacs came into a room and said he was gonna start cutting into me.

[00:08:56] Emily: I mean, it depends on what I had. Like, it depends on why I was there.

[00:09:00] Jeremy: In this he's a little creepy and just like perches on things. He's spending a lot of time perching places.

[00:09:05] Emily: He he's more than a little creepy, but I'll get into this.

And how could I forget last but not least the skipper, AKA captain Miller, AKA Laurence Fishburne, AKA the man who has never smiled.

[00:09:16] Ben: After a brief nightmare. I love Fishburne in this movie.

[00:09:19] Emily: So good. Sorry. After a brief nightmare about his naked dead eyeball-less, wife, Sam Neill tells us one, the NSA still exists. Two apparently this timeline never had to see something, say something campaign because people see a lot and no one says Jack shit for the most part. Three, the Event Horizon not exploded back in orbit. The answer will surprise you. What number oh four. See the center pole, there's a hole in the top and a hole in the bottom folding space makes it so we can penetrate both at once. And that's how black holes work. Any questions?

[00:09:51] Jeremy: I swear, I have seen this exact same practical demonstration of how a worm hole or traveling through space works in at least four science fiction films.

[00:10:01] Emily: Oh yeah. Yeah.

[00:10:02] Jeremy: And like, as he was doing it.

[00:10:03] Ben: Yeah. I, I, I have a question.

[00:10:05] Emily: You do have a question. Yes, please. Ben.

[00:10:07] Ben: Oh yeah, no, my question is, will we get a movie about wormholes that doesn't use the fucking folded paper pencil going through it demonstration?

[00:10:15] Jeremy: Yeah. And as, as he was doing it, I turned to Alicia and I was like, I've seen this movie before.

I don't remember anything about what happens, but what I know is that when you fold a piece of paper over and you put the pencil through, there is a space between those two pieces of paper that you have to travel through. And that is somewhere else. And that's what the rest of this movie is about.

[00:10:37] Emily: Yeah.

Spoilers. It's Hell I, anyway,

[00:10:40] Ben: love when Hell is an outer space. It's the best place for Hell to be.

[00:10:46] Jeremy: It's doom, you know?

[00:10:47] Emily: That's because-

[00:10:48] Ben: I'm not being facetious, I love, I love space. Hell. It's like, Hey, you know, cosmic, horror. Yeah. The universe is cruel and UN- unknown- is unknowing and uncaring. It's like, no, it cares about killing you. Space has a- space, has a moral alignment and it's actively evil.

[00:11:06] Emily: It's just space madness, man. You look in the void.

[00:11:09] Ben: It's great in dune. It's great here. I am down for like demons and the Hell are real and they live in outer space.

[00:11:17] Emily: Yeah. Don't tell Neil deGrasse Tyson about any of this film. Just don't tell him it. It would be bad for him.

[00:11:25] Jeremy: That's a whole Ted talk.

[00:11:26] Emily: That's a whole Ted talk about how Event Horizon does not work. But Dr. Sam Neill did invent the thing that does the thing, and that's why he's here. TM. So apparently the Event Horizon, the ship, not the phenomenon vanished when it went through a black hole to Proxima centauri because it would do that because it would be vanishing to go to like another part of the universe.

But apparently that was an issue because uh, it didn't come out at the appointed time. But here it is again, it's on Neptune and it's got a cool transmission, which is just screaming. So let's check it out.

[00:12:02] Jeremy: Screaming and Latin.

[00:12:03] Emily: Yeah. Dr. Physicist, Sam Neill did not do Latin or didn't really learn about languages.

[00:12:11] Ben: Well, I do love that moment cause like guys, guys calm down that indiscriminate shouting and demonic screeching isn't creepy. It's just the Latin.

[00:12:20] Emily: Yeah. And there's nothing, nothing ever scary happened in Latin.

[00:12:26] Ben: Notoriously least creepy language, especially when chanted.

[00:12:31] Emily: Yeah. I mean-.

[00:12:32] Jeremy: It's the one, all the demons know.

[00:12:33] Emily: Yeah. The demons respond to Latin.

[00:12:35] Jeremy: You never hear demons talking German. It doesn't happen.

[00:12:38] Emily: Actually. I've heard a lot of demons talk German, but so anyway, the Nebu-

[00:12:41] Ben: I feel like that's a trap Jeremy .

[00:12:44] Emily: So the Nebuchadnezzar runs almost runs right into the giant goth ass Event Horizon in Neptunes, upper ionosphere. And Sam Neill gets all wobbly in the knees again with the majesty of it all. He's really good at that. He was doing that about four years before, or maybe three years. I don't know. This movies 1997, Jurassic Park was 1993. The crew then just stroll a board the ship because there was no response and no life signs that makes sense Chekov's, explosives are then introduced. Baby Bear Justin goes through the meat Grindr room. Larry gets spooked. Peters finds a cute little blood spot on, on the bridge whilst missing an entire skull and guts installation behind her, back into the left of her. However, are the ships log stored in every single stolen CD car player. And then a frozen eyeless man comes out of nowhere as she tries to eject the 2047 compact disc.

[00:13:34] Jeremy: Seeing her try and pull the compact disc from what does look very much like a series of car steroes like that's, that was touching in the year 20 22.

[00:13:44] Ben: Yes. Like, oh right. I try not to judge futures too much for stuff they couldn't have predicted for like, they're still smoking cigarettes instead of vaping in space. How could they have predicted that? But man, seeing those CDs in the 2040s and outer space, like. That was something else for me.

[00:14:04] Emily: Maybe it's retro a whole Star Trek situation.

[00:14:06] Jeremy: Listen, the original Alien was closer with like data storage and transformation than, than this was.

[00:14:12] Ben: The only thing that would've been better is if a floppy disc could come out that would've beautiful. If it had been the floppy desk.

[00:14:18] Jeremy: It just comes out on a laser disc.

[00:14:22] Emily: Well, she would've not had any problem pulling that out because it'd be huge. She'd be like, okay, got it. Grip. I got these big welding gloves and she's just kidding grip on this thing and pull it out.

And yeah, so, D. J. Trauma sees this on the screen is like what happened to his eyes? This is to the corpsicle. And honestly, this guy's so fucked up. I would be like, the last thing I would notice would be the eyes, honestly, but, you know, okay. I digress.

[00:14:44] Ben: I do apologize. You calling in a corpsicle, that's not you being clever. The character sees a frozen eyeless dead man in space and goes a corpsicle! That is a line in the movie.

[00:14:59] Emily: A frozen eyeless dead man who looks like he's been mauled by a bear. the D. J.'s like

[00:15:05] Ben: me. I'm a doctor in theory, this movie, you should terrify me. In execution. They always make some baffling, silly choice at every turn to make what should be scary and intense like, hilarious.

[00:15:24] Emily: That's why I love it.

[00:15:26] Ben: Oh no, the ship's exploding. Oh, wow. That's all sure is a PlayStation one cut scene, special effect, or it exploding.

[00:15:36] Emily: And Foley. Oh man. In the, in the climax of this movie, the Foley gets so rote. I'm like, okay, I can tuck a name. That sound effect. That sound effect. That sound effect.

[00:15:47] Ben: That's the thing like, all of these things where it should be like, oh my God intense violence. Was that a cartoon bonk sound effect? Like the sound of the sound editing was way too cartoony.

They really fucking missed the mark with the sound effects. Yeah. Like it's not often I'm watching a movie where I'm like, I think you're losing half a star on the punch of the punch sounds, but I got bad news for you Event Horizon.

[00:16:09] Emily: Well, it's okay.

[00:16:11] Jeremy: There's a point where I think it was one of the CO2 scrubbers, like hit a wall and made the most bong sound that I've ever heard. And I was like the fuck?

[00:16:19] Emily: That's cause it was a big, long metal tube. It was a big aluminum tube. I think that was the most like legit on the spot sound effect that they had in the whole movie. Alright. So, we found the corpsicle. It was muled by a bear. Sam Neil. thinks It was a uh, explosive decompression.

This is obviously not the case, but Baby Bear. I meanwhile finds the gravity drive core it's through the meat room. Oh, excuse me. The meat grinder room. It's not the meat room yet. And this super technological science room full of spikes and an Orry thing, spooky stargates at him.

And he walks up to it and he's like, cool, let me touch it. And then it swallows him surprising, no one Cooper, lifesaver and heartbreaker jumps into save him, but it causes a, so a shock wave that almost destroys the Nebuchadnezzar. Everyone has to get on the Event Horizon. Now they hate it. And so would you. Baby Bear is now catatonic, Sam Neill D denies that the core could do such a thing, but Cooper knows what he saw.

[00:17:16] Jeremy: So the point where they introduce the ticking clock of 20 hours, which is in decipherable because it's like we have 20 hours and the next thing's like we're down to 16 hours. A lot of time passes an hour later. They're like it's four hours.

[00:17:32] Ben: It's time passes. It's not end up being relevant.

[00:17:35] Emily: Yeah. I mean like of all the things of all the stakes to stack up.

[00:17:38] Ben: Like you're already in outer space, no help is coming. It doesn't matter how many hours we know they're fucked. It's fine. They're on a Hell ship. The movie knows that it has a bad ticking clock. So it then gives us a different ticking clock in act three.

[00:17:56] Emily: Listen.

[00:17:58] Ben: Says the movie up the, and on the ticking clock.

[00:18:02] Emily: We know that the ship was in Hell where it is also.

[00:18:04] Ben: We're also running outta air and we're gonna Hell.

[00:18:09] Emily: What if the Xenomorphs were invisible and also demons that could reach your mind? So anyway Dr. Sam Neill is to me very strange, not because he's so haunted, not because he doesn't know how to explosive decompression works, and he's a space man, scientist, but he's also really strangely reluctant to explain shit.

And that's like the scientist's favorite thing to do. He reluctantly shows everybody that the gravity drive is perfectly harmless and all you have to do is go through a meat grinder room to a big spike room. What's there's no nothing being haunted here.

[00:18:45] Ben: It's insane that no one got impaled on one of those spikes, right? Was anyone else weighing the whole movie for someone to get impaled on one of those spikes?

[00:18:53] Emily: The entire set was Chekov, Chekov was there. Everywhere. Like there was all sorts of crazy medical shit, the captain's chair of the Event Horizon had a bunch of weird, like spiky shit on it.

The room was full of spikes. No one got ground in the meat grinder. They were just like, huh, we'll click a meat grinder.

[00:19:11] Ben: Multiple characters pick up a bone saw, stare at it, menacingly. It catches the light and it never actually gets used in the movie.

[00:19:21] Emily: Yeah. They don't get a chance to cuz they're too busy being haunted.

[00:19:24] Jeremy: Look, I mean, apparently the original cut of this movie was 130 minutes long. And was apparently so violent that both the studio and audiences were like, this is too violent. So all I could figure is like, it must have made more sense in the, that version.

[00:19:42] Emily: I am sad now.

[00:19:44] Ben: Yeah. Apparent and apparently all the cut footage was lost.

[00:19:47] Emily: Weak. That is the true tragedy.

[00:19:50] Ben: this now Paul Anderson has said the original cut was too long, but the theatrical cut definitely should have been like 15 minutes longer. Yeah. But also I've seen Paul Anderson movies. I don't know how much I trust is judgment on these things. Yeah. So give me the two hour.

[00:20:07] Emily: So speaking of haunting, we have Peters now all by herself, except, well, I guess Justin's in there catatonic. She's in the med bay, which is Jacob's ladder as fuck and she sees her son who should be back on earth in a wheelchair. And he is now on an operating tent with gangrenous legs, but it was just a dream and she doesn't tell anybody yet. Oh, but she decoded the log perfectly normal, except for the epilogue full of screaming! The ship starts doing weird shit. And Sam Neill jumps into a Jefferies Tube to fix it. And he finds his dead wife again. Simultaneously Justin has a seizure and Larry goes to burning man.

So then everybody meets up and he is all what the fuck? And Smitty, what the fuck? So hard that he attacks Sam Neill, but Dr. Trauma tries subduing him with a medical standard procedure of holding a knife to his throat. Captain Fishburne puts stuck kibosh on all this nonsense with the power of yelling. Starck, pull skipper, Larry aside, and starts postulating that whatever is going on, the ship must be alive.

And the captain responds by going whatever with more yelling. Peters goes back to on duty in the med bay, cuz that's her favorite place, but she is slightly less unhinged than Dr. Trauma. Some noises happen. Justin disappears. Peters runs to the bridge and the noises try to the bridge doors open. Sam Neill tries to open the door because someone's knocking might as well let him in, but Starck puts him in a hammer lock and is like, absolutely not. They lose the noises.

Yay. But then they find Justin. Yay? But he's in an airlock. He tries to space himself while making ominous proclamations, but is saved in the Nick of time by Larry still pretty gruesome decompression defects. Also apparently once you engage the airlock door in this ship, there's no way to cancel it. So I think this ship was fucked before it went to Hell.

I mean among other shit. Anyway the crew asked, well,

[00:21:53] Jeremy: this apparently designed by Dr. Sam Neill. Who also must have designed to those hallways inside the engine where he was climbing around, which are like Matrix green on the inside?

[00:22:04] Emily: And oh yeah. They're just walled with like motherboards.

[00:22:08] Jeremy: Yeah. They're just, just walls and walls of motherboards.

And I was like, what the fuck do you design this? This is the freakiest shit ever.

[00:22:15] Emily: How did you do it? That, I mean, I guess it's because he's so reluctant to explain shit. He's like pointing at the schematic and he is like green and the engineers are like, okay, green, it's a bunch of math. They were like, didn't you go to school for this?

And he's like, I'm just a physicist. Anyway, so the crew tried to ask Sam Neill about the, what the dark inside me is that Justin was talking about. Sam Neills is like, I'm just a physicist. I'm not a doctor. And Larry is all well, you're the only doctor we have that doesn't threaten people with knives and Sam Neill goes, wait burning man returns to haunt Captain Fishburne.

Apparently this is a manifestation of Larry's regret that he couldn't save his boon while serving on the Goliath. No, Keith David in this movie, sadly, he acts as pants off though. Uh, As he discusses zero G fire and yeah, how beautiful it is with Dr. Trauma and Dr. Trauma's like, okay, well you say that I wasn't gonna tell you this, but this transmission with the screaming and the Latin, it was like, Hell exists.

[00:23:17] Jeremy: Yeah. It they initially thought it said, save us. It turns out, it says, save yourself from Hell.

So you listened to the whole message before you call back.

[00:23:32] Emily: I don't know. He said something about save me. So we're gonna go save him. Oh, he told us not to save him. Save me if you wanna go to Hell. Thanks. Bye. Call me back at six, six, six.

[00:23:45] Ben: I like how casual Jason Isaacs is. He is like, I might have made a mistranslation to reel all your base or belong to us type situation.

If you know what I mean.

[00:23:56] Emily: I mean, we did get signal. Anyway, so throughout all of this, this discussion and this acting Laurence Fishburne and Dr. Trauma scientifically concluded that this ship has been to Hell and has now been possessed by demons. Meanwhile, Cooper and Smitty fixed the Nostromo! Huzzah, well J/K almost. Still some air leaks.

[00:24:14] Jeremy: It does appear that they are doing it by using tin foil.

[00:24:18] Emily: Yeah. I mean, well there's welding. They're welding. It's-.

[00:24:22] Jeremy: Sure welding tin foil.

[00:24:23] Emily: They're- look. Space metal is really shiny and crinkly haven't you seen the astronauts? I'm just an artist. I'm not a, I'm not a space doctor. Anyway, so we still have limited air between the Lewis and Clark and the Event Horizon. Clock still continues to tick. Starck and Peters managed to accidentally decode the screaming video to reveal cool murder orgy. Captain Miller is all Nope, and decides they need to get the fuck out. Sam Neill is all, but we can't leave the ship. Uwu. And Larry is like, fuck, this ship is demon it ate the crew. I'm gonna explode it. And then Sam Neill says, I am the ship. And then he recedes into darkness like Homer Simpson into a hedge. The ship also does not like this plan and it ramps up its fuckery to the number 11. Smitty and Peters are harvesting the CO2 filters from the gravity core, because where else would they be?

And Peters gets got by a hallucination of her child. That's what she gets for being ableist I guess. Sam Neill discovers her corpse and is almost sad, but then the ship shows in his wife's last moments before she dies by suicide. And then he is for real sad, but it's okay. She Shinings right the fuck out of that bathtub. And they embrace. And she gives him some empty eye sockets to match hers. Cooper is now completely, excuse me. Cooper has now completely fixed the Nostromo by himself, but since he is the least haunted of them, all eyeless, Sam Neill has to use real life explosives to fuck with him. He fires one of the Chekov's bombs and destroys The Nostromo along with Smitty. Cooper, miraculously survives and Supermans himself a month's journey.

In one minute, back to the ionosphere of Neptune with the power of a single air tank. Don't show this movie to Neil deGrasse Tyson, please. It would harp him.

[00:26:02] Ben: In which case do do show this movie to Neil deGrasse Tyson!

[00:26:07] Emily: Do we wanna hurt him?

[00:26:08] Ben: I want to see him become Sam Neill.

[00:26:12] Emily: This movie would make him become Sam Neill. He's like, I don't need eyes to see.

[00:26:17] Ben: Like, I want Neil deGrasse Tyson- I want him clawing his eyes out and talking about how we're all going into the darkness.

[00:26:25] Emily: We've always been here.

[00:26:26] Ben: Like I think this movie could be the one to break him and I want to see it happen.

[00:26:32] Emily: So now we are down to Miller, D. J. Trauma, frozen Justin, unconscious Starck, space Cooper, and Sam Neill. Miller tells D. J. over comms to kill Sam Neill if he sees him. D. J. Picks up the most vicious stabbing tool he can see and responds with Gusto, but oh no. Sam Neill's been behind him the whole time throws D. J. Around a bit and then proves that he is more than just a physicist doctor.

Larry arrives to find that Sam Neill has almost Hannibal levels of alacrity in turning D. J.'s corpse an artist

[00:27:02] Ben: I also had in my notes then, like, this is just a straight out Hannibal kill now.

[00:27:07] Emily: I mean, Hannibal is a, this kill, like Hannibal got it from this.

[00:27:10] Ben: This was such a Hannibal style murder as modern art installation.

[00:27:17] Emily: Yeah. Although he didn't really have much to do like Hannibal would've at least made a bow out of the intestines or something, or turned the intestines into a cake where this is. D. J. Floating their like from skin, with all his guts out on The thing and

[00:27:32] Ben: Thinking two steps ahead. Even if those steps are just what he's having for dinner tonight, Sam Neill is just cutting into dudes going like Space Hell, Space Hell, Space Hell. That's the that's what Sam Neill impression. That's the super good. I worked real hard on it.

[00:27:48] Emily: It's my favorite song played by D. J. Trauma. Space, Hell space, Hell SP

[00:27:53] Ben: Like I love how. I'm not sure if there was enough of an arc to get Sam Neill, so completely on board with team Space Hell but also like, what arc do you like? What arc do you put someone on to get them into? You know what? I love the demon spaceship, all hail the demon spaceship. What arc is gradual enough to make and make that make, be like, you know what I get where he's coming from. I think if I was in his shoes, I would also wanna go to Hell in the Hell ship.

[00:28:24] Emily: Step one is be Sam Neill. Then like, you're automatically a few steps ahead of everybody else in being a demon spaceman, ship man, cenobite. But anyway.

[00:28:35] Jeremy: What's wild about this part and what makes it not as good as the movie Doom based on the video game Doom is that immediately after this, when uh, Laurence Fishburne picks up the bolt gun, it doesn't go into first person.

[00:28:48] Emily: Alas.

[00:28:49] Ben: I had in my notes, like man, like Doom guy, would've been able to take care of like the fucking Sam Neill. No problem. Doom guy would've had this. I, he bolted to the wall. Doom this man Space Hell!. I'm telling you!

[00:29:02] Jeremy: Karl Urban would've fucked up Sam Neill.

[00:29:04] Emily: But, Karl Urban didn't have to save like his entire crew because he wasn't haunted by his burning men.

[00:29:11] Ben: Carl Sagan-

[00:29:11] Jeremy: His entire crew.

[00:29:12] Ben: -would've already fucked up Sam Neill.

[00:29:14] Emily: Carl Sagan would've like doubted him out of existence.

[00:29:18] Jeremy: Explained him away.

[00:29:19] Emily: Billions and billions of problems with these going on here.

[00:29:23] Jeremy: Physicist.

[00:29:25] Emily: I'm a real physicist Carl Sagan, that's my impression. Okay. So Larry gets that bolt gun, but he finds Starck unconscious on the bridge, revives her, but loses the gun, shrugs that off and is like, well, I guess I'm out, but uhoh Sam. Neil is there. He's in the captain's chair and his eyes have been sewn shut because as we all know where we're going, we don't need eyes to see.

He confirms that A, the ship is indeed possessed and B a previous patron of, and shortly will be returning to Hell.

[00:29:55] Ben: I'm sorry to interrupt again, but like, this is the shit I'm talking about where I'm like, okay. And now we get the creepy, like swivel chair reveal on Sam Neill, and he is caught his eyes out.

All right. What's his big villain line. Really? You're going with a back to the future reference the fuck you do in Event Horizon.

[00:30:17] Emily: I didn't even think about that, but yeah, that's a hundred percent.

[00:30:21] Ben: Like every time this movie almost legitimately scares me, it then throws in some wild curve that just makes me fucking bust out laughing.

[00:30:32] Emily: Now he trains his gun on Miller and Miller's like, oh fuck. But then Cooper's back. And he's at the window, and then uh, Sam Neill points his gun at Cooper, misses Cooper and shoots the window out. So I think he was a little bit hasty with the eye thing. Like I think he kind of did need his eyes at that point.

[00:30:50] Ben: At first I thought was like, oh damn, he's so hardcore. He doesn't even care about the decompression. And then like Sam Neill, like 30 seconds laters seems to immediately regret having shot out the window into outer space.

[00:31:03] Emily: Yeah. And he's like flung out.

[00:31:04] Ben: He's like, I'm like, fuck, I guess you were too into Hell like that. You really didn't think that one threw, did you Sam Neill? Yeah.

[00:31:11] Jeremy: He's like, oh no! Now I have to go to Hell the long way! By dying.

[00:31:16] Emily: Is that the long way his, I feel like that's a short way.

[00:31:18] Ben: Like I thought that was just like cenobite style where it was like, yes, like I'm so into it. Not like, oh, no hoisted by my own petard. Like my fatal flaw, not understanding explosive decompression!

[00:31:34] Jeremy: It's already been established at that point that he doesn't.

[00:31:36] Ben: Say, yeah.

You know what, when you say it like that, I guess, I guess it was foreshadow that he doesn't know how space works. Despite being the space doctor.

[00:31:43] Emily: Maybe I shouldn't have put, a gothic cross window in this bridge. Oh, well. So anyway Starck and Miller barely make it out. And uh, the airlock alarm blares and they're like, oh shit, is it?

Hell Neil? It's probably Hell Neil. Shit's fucked. Probably. But no! It's just Cooper. Don't hit him. Don't hit him, please. I love his delivery on the don't hit me when he comes outta the airlock.

[00:32:10] Cooper: Don't hit me.

[00:32:19] Emily: It just breaks the tension so hard.

[00:32:22] Ben: I love that. Cooper's so damn mentally healthy that the ship doesn't even try to fuck with him.

[00:32:26] Emily: Yeah, I can. It can't, that's why they had to explode. They tried to explode him on the Nostromo because they were like, fuck, can't haunt him. Fuck.

So anyway, with the Naro gone and the gravity drive set to go back to Hell, Miller plans, to separate the saucer section with the rest of Chekov's bombs. Starck and Cooper prepared to escape in the foredecks as the ship fights back by bleeding on them with varying quality, special effects.

They survive.

[00:32:49] Jeremy: I was so miffed by this. I was like, what the fuck? Why is everything filling with blood? There's no explanation. It's just the ship, I guess. The ship's just bleeding at them.

[00:32:58] Emily: Yeah!

[00:32:59] Jeremy: Could it, could it not have drowned them hours ago at this point?

[00:33:02] Ben: Is your ship crying blood just for the vibes?

[00:33:05] Emily: Probably. Like, I don't know why cuz the ship-.

[00:33:08] Jeremy: It's not even the haunted side of the ship, the hauntings on the other side.

[00:33:12] Emily: But apparently the whole ship is haunted. Cause in the beginning they get weird life readings throughout the whole thing.

[00:33:17] Ben: I'll tell you what that feels like to me. That feels like when they started this script, they're like, it's a haunted house in, on a spaceship and they're like, that's a great premise.

And then they're just coming up with all the notes and they're like, oh it, and then the spaceship cries blood. And then they got all the way through the script and then they went back through their notes and they're like, oh fuck. We forgot the bleeding spaceship part. Okay. Well we're in the part where they go in the thing. So I don't know. Let's just have it bleed. Let's just have the tube explode with blood. Yeah. I don't know what it does.

[00:33:44] Emily: It's a Kool-Aid man.

[00:33:45] Ben: Yeah.

[00:33:46] Emily: Oh yeah.

[00:33:47] Ben: Like it feels like a note they had early on that they forgot to put in, so they just shoehorned it in real late into the movie.

[00:33:53] Jeremy: Some executive was like, Hey, where's the part with all the blood? Said, there'd be blood.

[00:33:57] Ben: Yeah. Like they promised that in the pitch and then they forgot about it. But this one fucking executive.

[00:34:03] Jeremy: I got my blood man on this! He's waiting for your call.

[00:34:06] Emily: There was a blood, there was the blood shortage in 1997.

[00:34:09] Ben: There was just one executive who was just so like never got the elevator pitch out of his head. And was just, like you said, in the pitch, the spaceship would be crying blood, like in the haunted, like in the poltergeist house. I want my bleeding spaceship.

[00:34:23] Emily: Fall of the spaceship of Usher. But like also the very, very specific installation in the bridge of the, three, like crevices that have the skull and bones in them that like, nobody really addresses. They're like what happened here? And then they look back at the skull and bones and they look back at , whoever that Sam Neill being like, dude. What the? This is-.

[00:34:47] Jeremy: Fuck it. I don't wanna know. I don't wanna know!

[00:34:49] Emily: This is before they see the "blood orgy". This is after the screaming. So I don't know, fool me once. Shame on you fool me twice. So the

[00:35:00] Jeremy: Miller has to fight the burning man again now.

[00:35:02] Emily: Yeah, the burning man and Miller fight. uh, Cooper and Starck-.

[00:35:05] Ben: Holy shit.

[00:35:06] Jeremy: He's gone from being a man on fire to a man with flame throwers for hands like he's shooting fire at this point.

[00:35:13] Ben: Okay. Yeah. The part where he yells you, let me burn. And then that shooting fire effect honestly felt like something from a Tim and Eric sketch.

[00:35:23] Emily: It was very Mortal Kombat the video game.

[00:35:26] Ben: Mm-hmm okay. No, you wanna hear something from Mortal Kombat? See that also Paul Anderson. Yes, he did the Mortal Kombat movie. And you can tell because this motherfucker straight up reused the exact special effect of a frozen body shattering on the floor that he used for the subzero fight in Mortal Kombat.

[00:35:44] Emily: Bless you, Paul W. S. Anderson for what you've brought to cinema.

[00:35:49] Jeremy: I will say same composer as well.

[00:35:51] Ben: Yeah. Paul W. S. Anderson saw in the script, like, and then the frozen body shatters on the floor and he was like, fucking, yeah, I think I know how to do that.

[00:35:58] Emily: I think the frozen body shattering wasn't in the script. He's like, yo, I got this frozen body fire, laser blood shit, weird hallway.

[00:36:09] Ben: The practical effects in this movie on point. Fucking 10 outta 10. The CGI in this movie. Oh boy.

[00:36:17] Emily: Yeah, I will say that the effect when they turn on the gravity and all like the coolant falls is actually pretty good.

[00:36:24] Ben: It is, but all like the CGI zero G liquid leading up to that.

[00:36:31] Emily: Oh yeah.

[00:36:31] Ben: Especially when it bounces off the one guy's helmet. Oh, it is. It leaves something to be desired on an HD TV. I'll tell you that.

[00:36:40] Emily: Yeah. They're like the abyss. Remember that? We do sort of.

[00:36:44] Ben: Well, even like, when Justin's like putting his hand in the, in the gate. Yeah. And it's like liquid space and I'm just being like, wow, this pretty much exact same effect is gonna look so much better in two years when it's The Matrix.

[00:36:59] Emily: Yeah. And also...

[00:37:01] Ben: .Also looked better five years ago in Terminator 2.

[00:37:05] Emily: And in Stargate, which was two years prior. So maybe, and in The Abyss.

[00:37:10] Ben: I think this movie just is shitty CGI.

[00:37:13] Emily: It's just like, whatever. I, I got the body exploding ice, whatever. Fuck it. Anyway. burning man. Attacks Miller. Miller jumps into the uh, gravity drive room full of spikes. And doesn't get impaled. They fight and it turns out burning man was uh, Sam Neill all along debuting his cenobite form cut up head. Um,

[00:37:33] Jeremy: Sam Neill will only be appearing in closeups from this point on, in the film.

[00:37:37] Ben: I also really like how they gave him his eyes back, cuz they're like, yeah, these CGI holes are not working.

[00:37:45] Emily: Yeah. We're tracking on this is rough.

[00:37:46] Jeremy: The ship rebuilt me.

[00:37:47] Emily: Yeah. There you go.

[00:37:49] Ben: Yeah, no it yeah, all those him only appearing closeups that really smacked up some uh, reshoots that they couldn't quite get him back for. Didn't they?

[00:37:57] Jeremy: Yeah. Yeah. Or, or in makeup that they did not want to attempt to replicate over the rest of his body?

[00:38:02] Emily: Yeah. Yeah. For a while, when I was watching the, like, when I was watching this on VHS, after I had recorded it off of Cinemax or whatever,

[00:38:09] Jeremy: It seems like the place you would record it, right?

[00:38:11] Ben: Yeah. Like I feel like that's the only proper way to view this movie is off a V off like a blank tape recorded VHS playing on Cinemax with commercials.

[00:38:23] Emily: Yeah. It didn't have commercials. I did see a version of it that was on TV with commercials. It was very short.

[00:38:29] Ben: I, oh my God. I wanna see I need to see the cut for TV version of a Event Horizon. Yeah, it was. I feel like that Mad TV, like Sopranos for network television sketch,

[00:38:41] Emily: The end so.

[00:38:43] Jeremy: And they just have to, they would have to cut basically every cutaway and vision that anybody has in the movie. Yeah, that's the, they, it could just be a straight ahead story about some people dying at the spaceship.

[00:38:54] Ben: We're going to Heck!

[00:38:56] Emily: They did change the song in the end that it wasn't Funky Shit by Prodigy. And I was really sad stuff.

[00:39:02] Ben: That's both. Oh my God's.

Cause I will say this movie soundtrack goes hard. I'm a fan of this music.

[00:39:08] Jeremy: Very specific this music.

[00:39:10] Emily: It is so 1997. Okay. So cut up head sets Miller on fire and shows him a trailer for the new Hellraiser coming to Hulu. And they have a final showdown. Miller puts the fire out in the cool blood moat and then grabs detonator for all of Chekov's bombs freeing Cooper and Starck and frozen Justin from Hell. Uh, the remains of the ship fall into the black hole that somehow does not implode Neptune. 72 days later they're rescued, but not before Starck has one final nightmare about cut up head the end, or is it?

Oh, my God. That's funky shit. Boom. Can we, Alicia, can you put in like the little stinger there?

[00:39:45] Jeremy: Like, we, we go straight into the music of Prodigy. Like if you.

[00:39:50] Emily: Yeah. So just fat of the land.

[00:39:52] Ben: I had to look up what the fuck was up with that ending, cuz it really felt like it was a rewrite or a last minute, scene they filmed. And look, this is a sentence from its Wikipedia page and this is one hell of a fucking sentence to read about a movie. " The film's final ending was a combination of two unused alternate endings."

[00:40:12] Emily: Huh.

[00:40:12] Jeremy: Ugh.

[00:40:13] Ben: This sounds like they didn't even have an original ending. They just had loose ideas and then had to just end the movie.

Eventually.

[00:40:23] Emily: That's why they had to have, oh my God. That's a funky shit. Cause then

[00:40:26] Jeremy: Like here's another thing. I forget another that I think tells you a lot about this movie. The rotational shot of the space station over earth, which is five minutes into the movie and has nothing to do with the film, took a third of their special effects budget.

[00:40:41] Ben: Get the fuck out.

[00:40:42] Emily: Oh no!

This feels like the FX version of me going to the the CD shop, like the used CD shop, and trading in a bunch of fucking, really good CDs to get a Nine Inch Nails import that would be available on Napster the following year.

[00:41:03] Ben: All right. Most of my notes were just absolutely bat shit. Delightful, weird moments from the movie that I had to write down.

[00:41:11] Emily: Please.

[00:41:11] Ben: When we, Sam Neill first sees the vision of eyelesss dead ghost and he gives a very loud, very halfhearted scream.

[00:41:24] Emily: yes,

[00:41:27] Sam Neill: I'm waiting.

[00:41:35] Ben: it's fantastic.

[00:41:39] Emily: It reminds me of in Our Flag Means Death when the, the Hodor guy is like pretending to be a fog horn!

[00:41:48] Jeremy: It felt like a gif reaction to something scary on the internet. Like somebody's supposed to go.

[00:41:54] Ben: I dunno how it's not more of a gif. I think cuz you need the audio component.

[00:41:59] Jeremy: Yeah, the audio, it doesn't work without the audio. The, the thing that tripped me out the most about it, this really bothered Alicia too is the sheer idiocy. Of the captain's chair on their ship. Okay.

[00:42:12] Ben: Yes. Yes. I also.

[00:42:13] Emily: Which one? The Nostromo or the-.,

[00:42:16] Ben: The dangly chair,

[00:42:17] Jeremy: The dangly chair on the Lewis and Clark.

[00:42:19] Ben: Why is it dangling?

[00:42:20] Jeremy: Around almost the entire ship for him to turn around.

[00:42:23] Ben: Possibly being more stable.

[00:42:26] Jeremy: It's like, like he's just sitting there flopping the whole time he's talking. God bless Larry Fishburne is trying so hard to like deliver serious dialogue in this chair.

[00:42:37] Ben: It's such a weird shit. Why?

[00:42:39] Jeremy: He's insisting on just being the most serious motherfucker in the world while he gives footage from a sex swing?

Like it's the, the craziest fucking thing.

[00:42:50] Emily: That is on like the slowest motor to turn like everyone like spins in their desk chair and is off the ship. And he is like, hold on.

[00:42:57] Ben: Oh, do you want, like, he's just like, I'll be right there. You look so-.

[00:43:01] Jeremy: You, know that thing like fucking clothes line people all over the place.

[00:43:04] Emily: Yes.

[00:43:04] Jeremy: You just walking across the bridge and the captains chair just takes you out. Oh shit.

[00:43:09] Ben: And I honestly spent the entire movie wondering, like, why did they do it this way? And then I got to the end. I'm like, oh, this was all set up for Sam Neill to have a slow swivel chair, spin reveal. But then I thought about some more.

I'm like, wait, no, it still could have swiveled about being connected to the ceiling.

[00:43:29] Jeremy: Somebody was like, you can't have an evil swivel chair seat, like for a villain to spin around in, in space, Paul, it would just float off. And he was like, I have a device.

[00:43:40] Ben: This, feels like something, a concept artist like play with a sketch.

[00:43:45] Emily: Absolutely.

[00:43:45] Ben: Without thinking about how it would actually translate once filming an actor sitting in this wobbly as shaky, like ceiling chair.

[00:43:54] Emily: Oh wait, this, the script here says turbulence. Fuck. Well already spent all that money on the fucking space station. Can't fix the chair.

[00:44:04] Ben: He's already in like the open, like roller coaster ride for one, sorry.

[00:44:08] Emily: God.

[00:44:09] Ben: Yeah, why God? um, I feel like this movie though has definitely been very influential and it's now like part of the pop co like, especially the space horror genre. Like for as much as this movie took from Alien, I feel like you then see significantly less, but some influence of Event Horizon in Prometheus.

Yeah.

[00:44:35] Emily: Yeah. I mean, at least you can see that the Xenomorphs in Prometheus. But the monsters in Prometheus are the science. You know, there's well, as opposed to literal Hell.

[00:44:47] Ben: I will say, I think Prometheus is a not great movie, but at least and maybe it probably bites off more than it can chew while being really dumb. And I'm so excited to talk about it. It's one of my favorite bad movies. At least it's trying to tackle themes. Like what is the theme of Event Horizon? Like what is, what story is Event Horizon, trying to tell other than man, what if Hell was it outer space? Wouldn't that be fucking gnarly?

[00:45:16] Jeremy: I, I'm looking at a lot of different facts about this movie and Ben. You guessed right. " Philip Eisner wrote this movie after a family tragedy, he had recently entered a multi picture writing agreement and in effort to force himself to get back to work, he pitched several ideas. One of which was The Shining in space to the studio, which was very receptive. Unfortunately, he had no detailed treatment yet. And the subject matter blended with his emotional state and inspired a prolonged bout of writer's block. The studio executive had originally brought him on board. Now a personal friend helped keep Eisinger on track and the eventual first draft was enthusiastically received." So yes, it was pitched in fact, as a haunted house in space, specifically The Shining in space.

[00:46:02] Ben: Oh fuck. That makes a lot of sense.

[00:46:03] Emily: Oh, amazing.

[00:46:05] Ben: That's a solid ass pitch.

[00:46:06] Emily: Yeah. I did not know that. I am so happy I know that now.

[00:46:10] Ben: Like if I was an executive, I'm just thinking about in the heartbeat, like that's a great premise.

[00:46:15] Jeremy: Yeah. I just wanna, I'm thinking about what other Stephen King in space movies I can pitch.

[00:46:21] Emily: Oh, there you go.

[00:46:22] Jeremy: What about Kujo in space?

[00:46:24] Emily: Fire starter.

[00:46:25] Ben: Maximum overdrive.

[00:46:27] Emily: Fuck. I was gonna say that goddamnit!

[00:46:30] Ben: The station are after you.

[00:46:33] Emily: This is maximum overdrive. Cause the spaceship is after you in this movie.

[00:46:37] Ben: Oh fuck. This it you're right.

[00:46:39] Emily: It's The Shining and Maximum Overdrive.

[00:46:42] Ben: They got a twofer!

[00:46:43] Jeremy: Listen. It's not maximum overdrive and listen, all takes place in a truck station.

[00:46:48] Ben: I mean a truck. We figure out a way to make space clowns happen.

[00:46:51] Emily: What is that? Oh my God. I watched that movie recently. Outland.

[00:46:55] Ben: Is that the one where the lady goes back in time and has a lot of sex?

[00:46:59] Emily: No.

[00:47:02] Jeremy: That's Outlander. Outlander Showtime. The Showtime show.

[00:47:06] Emily: No, this is, this is the movie-.

[00:47:08] Ben: To thank you. Thanks. Thank you Jeremy, for getting the for getting the set up for that joke., I thought I was going out on a limb that like, I'm just gonna fucking fall off the cliff with that one.

[00:47:17] Emily: Thank you for trusting us. I'm sorry. You couldn't trust me. So Outland is a movie it's basically High Noon, but on a space station and it stars Sean Connery. It's weird. Anyway.

[00:47:29] Ben: It sounds like it should be good, but it's probably not.

[00:47:32] Emily: No. Yeah, so, Cooper survived, Starck survived.

[00:47:37] Ben: This movie.

[00:47:38] Emily: Baby Bear survived, but it was fucked up.

[00:47:40] Ben: Okay. The Baby Bear in the ma. Okay. I was able to take the Baby Bear stuff seriously and like be invested in what, in like the danger.

[00:47:48] Bears: I won't come back there. I won't. No baby bear. Come on. Open the door. What's happening?

[00:47:53] Ben: And then he called her Mama Bear and I fucking lost it.

[00:47:57] Justin: Mama bear? Open the door!

[00:48:00] Ben: That's where I broke. That's what I'm like.

Yep. Out the airlock. I'm like, I'm out. Like, let's do it. I just wanna see people die. Let's fucking go.

[00:48:07] Jeremy: Mm-hmm.

[00:48:07] Emily: Yeah. Cuz the whole time, like my whole youth, I was convinced that she was also like, she was his mom and he was also her son because he called her Mama Bear and then re-watching it. I'm like, there is nothing here to indicate that other than this moment that he calls her Mama Bear in the airlock.

[00:48:26] Ben: It's just a real uncomfortable workplace nickname.

[00:48:30] Emily: Yeah. Cause he's like he is baby.

[00:48:33] Ben: It's cute. Like when Cooper's on his way to rescue him, he is like, I'm coming Baby Bear. Like I'm, like's cute. That's cute. I like that. When the other characters keep going with the Baby Bear motif, it gets weird. And then after a point it crosses a threshold and every time they say Baby Bear, I just laughed harder. Like it, it got funnier with every repetition, a Baby Bear. After Mama Bear, I was gone. I was like, oh, these are just weirdly like sexual nicknames with like sub/dom undertones.

[00:49:10] Emily: When Cooper is like, I'm coming to get your Baby Bear it. I thought that was like, oh, I was cute. And then-.

[00:49:15] Ben: That's endearing. Mama Bear. We've hit a new level.

[00:49:19] Emily: Yeah. Then I'm, I'm concerned for everyone.

[00:49:22] Ben: I feel like Mama Bear shouldn't come into play until like money is changing hands.

[00:49:26] Emily: I mean, the ship is a patron of, and is continued to go to Hell. So

[00:49:32] Ben: I've gotta say I'm kind of down for this spinoff where like, I feel like Sam Neill's point of view in the franchise is to be like, y'all, we can be a crew of a Hell ship. That's the franchise, we're the Hellship Crew! Let's go. And everyone was like, no!

[00:49:51] Emily: Everyone else is like, I like my eyes!

[00:49:52] Ben: The Hell crew. One of my favorite moments is when they get to the core room.

[00:49:57] Sam Neill: This is the gateway. now, these three magnetic rings, when they align, it creates an artificial black hole, which allows the ship to travel to any point of space.

[00:50:07] Starck: A black hole, the most destructive force in the universe. And you've created one?

[00:50:13] Sam Neill: Absolutely. Yes.

[00:50:14] Ben: Sam Neill's utterly reaction is like, fucking yeah, I did. Cause I'm awesome.

[00:50:20] Emily: Yeah. I fucking created a black hole. What of it like.

[00:50:23] Ben: Yes. It's the best. I love how even before, like, I guess that's the setup before he goes full Hell ship he's like, yeah. I made a black hole. Not sorry. I did it cuz it's cool as Hell. Fucking rad. You're welcome. Yeah. Faster than light travel is possible.

[00:50:36] Jeremy: You pointed out. I do like that. You pointed out Emily that like the fucking black hole doesn't take in Neptune, despite the fact that like that is discussed earlier in the movie, that the reason they went all the fucking way out there to take off, to go to alpha centauri was because they didn't wanna fuck up the rest of the planets by creating a wormhole in the middle of the, yeah, the system. But Neptune is okay with having one right next to it. It's just fine.

[00:51:02] Emily: There's a Neptune thing. I don't know. Watch Gemini Home Entertainment. It explains all of it.

[00:51:06] Ben: I mean, did you pick Neptune cuz you didn't want people making a joke about making a hole in Uranus? Because too late. I did it anyway.

[00:51:17] Emily: I mean, they could have done, they could have gone further. They could have gone a Pluto. They could-.

[00:51:20] Jeremy: Oh, that's not a planet.

[00:51:21] Emily: If they went on. Yeah, it was a planet in 1997. Did they know then?

[00:51:25] Jeremy: um, I mean, arguably it already didn't meet the criteria and they knew that, but they hadn't actually created the criteria yet.

[00:51:31] Ben: Like they were making too much money off Pluto merchandise. Once Pluto sales went down, they're like, all right, accuracy's trumps profits now. That's my theory. That's not a theory. More weird screams because no one fucking can scream regular in this movie? Laurence Fishburne yelling. Oh, fuck me. When a glove hits his helmet?

[00:51:54] Emily: I mean that's relatable.

[00:51:56] Jeremy: Oh, fuck me. Yeah.

[00:51:57] Ben: Again, it's all in the delivery.

[00:51:59] Emily: Yeah, he was pretty, I thought he was pretty believable cuz he, you know, just his whole character was so monotone. That one scene where he was talking about wave fire, he was really acting-.

[00:52:08] Ben: Him talking about zero G gravity being beautiful fire and zero gravity is a great line. And I'm really glad that given the state of the other CGI, they didn't try to do it in the movie. I feel like they probably did. And they're like, no, not working.

[00:52:26] Emily: Yeah. They really didn't do wave fire.

[00:52:29] Jeremy: Just kept hitting him. Wave after wave.

[00:52:31] Ben: Great speech.

[00:52:32] Jeremy: Perhaps like the wildest, the wildest thing about the circumstances, the making of this movie to me, I think is the fact that Paul W. S. Anderson did this movie because he had just made Mortal Kombat and they had to make it PG 13. So he really wanted to make an R rated movie next, which is why he did this and turned down X-Men. And that is why we didn't have a Paul W. S. Anderson X-Men movie.

[00:52:56] Ben: Holy shit.

[00:52:57] Emily: Wow.

[00:52:58] Ben: What does the timeline look like where Paul W. S. Anderson directs X-Men? Yeah. What, what is that? I, oh my God.

[00:53:08] Emily: I mean, it could either be great.

It could either be great or it could have been a, a real fantastic four by um, What's that movie? What's the guy that made the movie about crashing cars?

[00:53:21] Ben: Not just the movie. Think about the timeline. That's not just a superhero movie. That's the original X-Men movie. That is the beginning of the modern superhero movie era.

That is the point when then it became like superhero movies every fucking year.

[00:53:39] Emily: That's true, isn't it?

[00:53:40] Ben: That's not like one of the trends that is the trend starter. What is the timeline? When, what does that world look like? Becomes Paul W. S. Anderson's movie?

[00:53:52] Emily: 2047. We solve faster than light travel. We solve time travel. We go back and find that timeline. We go to Paul W. S. An- Anders actually, no, I can't. I don't know if I can handle a universe without Event Horizon.

[00:54:07] Ben: Like, is that the good timeline? Is that like Al Gore wins the presidency? Paul W. S. Anderson like directs X-Men and by 2022, we have luxury gay space communism?

[00:54:18] Emily: I mean, anything's possible if we're gonna look at it like that, um.

[00:54:24] Ben: Like I know, like, I always thought Gore direct, but like, what if that was the turning point? Like what if history changes on a dime if Bryan Singer doesn't direct X-Men?

[00:54:33] Emily: A butterfly flaps its wings. And then Paul W. S. Anderson doesn't want to do kids movies anymore.

[00:54:41] Jeremy: And we have Eric Mabius as Wolverine.

[00:54:43] Ben: Like what if his movie's a hit? What if his version of X-Men comes out and it's a bomb?

[00:54:49] Emily: Yeah, like-.

[00:54:50] Ben: Fucking, I'm just saying.

[00:54:51] Emily: Question:

[00:54:52] Ben: I'm just saying like that is a movie where I cannot think I'm like, wow. A choice of director, I think changed the course of 21st century history.

[00:55:00] Emily: I mean, there are probably some other people, I mean, like we could have had Jodorowsky's Dune. What would've that? What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what would, What Would You Do?

[00:55:09] Ben: How realistic was that ever? Like?

[00:55:11] Emily: It was pretty close.

[00:55:12] Ben: Good question.

[00:55:12] Emily: They had like a whole book of storyboards and like they had the, everybody like getting set up together, but then fucking Salvador Dali ruined it. And also Jodorowsky is problematic. But anyway. This movie. What does it say about L G B T Q I A issues?

[00:55:29] Ben: No, I, I have, I have more weird. I have more weird screams. I need to talk about. Laurence Fishburne yelling, Justin, when he goes to get him at the airlock.

[00:55:39] Emily: I don't even, oh yeah. There was so much noise in that bit. I was like, oh, that was a thing wasn't...

[00:55:45] Ben: Maybe it was just me with the Evangelion too much. Did anyone else think the gravity core was powered by a dead mom's soul?

[00:55:52] Emily: I mean, it was powered by his wife's soul.

[00:55:55] Jeremy: Though it was being powered by his dead wife's soul for a minute.

[00:55:57] Emily: Yeah.

[00:55:57] Jeremy: The way that this movie sets up, the dead wife, and then she has nothing to do with the film is wild to me. That like, he's like, I miss her. Also. I made a ship that disappeared in time and nobody has seen in a while. That's completely unrelated. But! I was like, was she on the ship? Was what, what happened here?

[00:56:19] Emily: Yeah, like he worked so hard!

[00:56:21] Ben: He was working so hard on the shift that he neglected her and she's like, well, I'm going to do a suicide.

[00:56:26] Emily: Jesus.

[00:56:28] Ben: Which is not what happened!

[00:56:30] Emily: That is what happened though.

[00:56:31] Ben: I'm treating it with the same level of care and respect that the movie is.

[00:56:35] Emily: That is 100% true. This thing that you just said, so that is valid.

[00:56:42] Ben: She is like, dude do do. And then like, it just cuts in and it's like, that is just a bathtub full of cranberry juice.

[00:56:47] Jeremy: I kept, like waiting for him to draw a line here, like him to be like, I want to go to Hell to- to find my wife. Who's dead and there.

[00:56:56] Ben: Nope, just Hell! What is it? Hell Cool.

[00:57:00] Emily: I mean, she, it was implied with her being like, we'll be together forever. With no eyes, cuz where we goings we have such sites to show you that doesn't have roads or no one needs eyes to see.

[00:57:13] Ben: I'm a big fan of Smitty immediately being like this ship is haunted as fuck. I want out immediately. I don't even wanna set foot here.

[00:57:22] Emily: Even before he goes on this ship.

[00:57:24] Jeremy: To go stand outside in space and reweld our other ship. I'm not staying on this fucking ship.

[00:57:29] Emily: Yeah. I will go to our ship that has no oxygen. I remember that!

[00:57:34] Ben: Far and away best characters are the ones who are just being like this ship is fucked and I hate it.

[00:57:39] Emily: Yeah. He straight up said that at the very beginning, before they even got on the ship. He was like, nuh. No way. Absolutely not. And they're like, well, guess what you gotta. And he's like, I'm gonna, what the fuck? So hard. Oh, apparently I can't because I'm busy getting a knife in my throat by my doctor. What the fuck?

[00:57:58] Jeremy: My doctor who looks exactly like me because they gave us the same haircut and we both have the same accent.

[00:58:04] Emily: And we're both British men that are sad looking.

[00:58:06] Jeremy: Just like- it's the Alien Three problem all over again.

[00:58:09] Emily: Yeah. Yeah.

[00:58:09] Jeremy: Sad British men with no hair.

[00:58:11] Ben: I, I appreciate that. This is a movie that has multiple uh, black characters. None of whom die on screen. Even if one of them does take a spaceship to Hell. Doesn't count as dying.

[00:58:24] Emily: That's right! He doesn't exactly die on screen. I mean.

[00:58:26] Ben: No! None of the black, none of the black characters die. All of the British people die.

[00:58:31] Emily: Except for Starck.

[00:58:33] Jeremy: Yeah. Starck survives.

[00:58:34] Emily: Starck survives.

[00:58:35] Ben: Oh, was Starck British? I can never, I couldn't quite tell with Starck.

[00:58:38] Emily: She has a British situation.

[00:58:39] Jeremy: Was she has a- she's Brit-ish.

[00:58:42] Emily: Yes. English.

[00:58:46] Ben: How great is Neil Flynn's villain turn?

[00:58:48] Janitor: This is it. I'm in the show, Dr. Jan Itor.

[00:58:52] Ben: Like just the delivery of I am home. And then again, he slinks into the shadows, Homer Simpson gif style? Chef's kiss, like what a great moment of for Sam Neill, when he gets to like, do that turn?

[00:59:04] Jeremy: See, he has like four of them in this movie.

[00:59:06] Emily: Yeah, he sure does.

[00:59:07] Jeremy: This is like moment where,

[00:59:08] Ben: And they're all great! It's his best moment. So they just keep redoing it!

[00:59:11] Jeremy: The moment where the thing is banging on the door and he's like, they're like, what the fuck? And he is like, let it in.

[00:59:17] Ben: I love that. Dutch angles, everywhere!

[00:59:20] Emily: Dutch angles of his dead wife in the bathtub.

[00:59:23] Ben: Okay. I'll tell you. I know why the dead wife subplot exists. They did the dead wife ghost subplot. So eventually 12 years later it could inspire the storyline of Dead Space.

[00:59:36] Emily: There you go. I mean, he.

[00:59:38] Ben: Dead Space took that right out of this movie.

[00:59:42] Emily: That is true.

[00:59:42] Ben: Shamelessly.

[00:59:44] Jeremy: This maybe goes into the question of feminism in this movie, but the dead wife subplot annoys me partially because dead wife is naked on the bridge of a ship at the beginning for no reason. Yeah. She's naked throughout the movie for no reason. Just because I guess she was in a bathtub when she killed herself, but like she just keeps showing up naked and I was just like, what is the, what's the fucking point of this?

I do like that as in the original Alien, both the female characters are uh, relatively intelligent and useful as members of the crew. However they do feel the need to really tie Peters to this motherhood thing.

[01:00:19] Emily: Yeah.

[01:00:20] Jeremy: Nobody else has a like person back home that they're worried about, I guess, but she is like my son in a wheelchair.

[01:00:30] Emily: Well, and the fact, like she is tempted by the vision of her son walking around without the wheelchair. And she's so haunted by the idea of, is of her son with the gangrenous legs and everything. And I'm like that doesn't, I did get a little ableism from that.

[01:00:44] Jeremy: Like, I need more or less about this. I need to like maybe it was her fault that this thing happened to her son and that's what haunts her or maybe yeah. Or, you know, not that like, I, I just, the fact of him being running around, being enough for her to like chase him around the ship and end up killing herself did not do it for me.

[01:01:05] Emily: Yeah.

[01:01:06] Jeremy: Also-.

[01:01:07] Emily: Agreed.

[01:01:07] Jeremy: Is it Starck?

[01:01:08] Ben: Yeah. Yeah.

[01:01:09] Jeremy: Is-. This thing keeps happening in this movie, which is like, when done well, it's great. But in this movie it's done repeatedly of anytime. Something potentially creepy is panned off of it will disappear.

[01:01:22] Emily: Yeah. Yeah.

[01:01:23] Jeremy: I think, yeah. Cause Justin, Justin, like she's pacing behind him. And then like when she comes back this way, he's just not on the bed. And then like Laurence Fishburne, like reaches over and sets his gun off screen so that it can disappear.

[01:01:36] Emily: This movie doesn't have great object permanence.

[01:01:39] Ben: To a lot of jump scares. Yeah. Like there's a lot of jump scares and they never quite work also in this. Like there's just something off about the timing with the jump scares.

[01:01:48] Jeremy: And the really cheap nineties style jump scares of like, music hit and thing.

[01:01:53] Ben: Yeah.

[01:01:54] Jeremy: They don't like.

[01:01:56] Ben: There's no tension building. Like there's no subversion of expectation. things happen. And I don't know, it's in that way where it's like, there's simultaneously no buildup, but yet it's also telegraphed to the point of no surprise.

[01:02:09] Jeremy: Yeah. And they-.

[01:02:09] Ben: If that makes sense.

[01:02:10] Jeremy: The places where they, could have jump scares, they don't. Like where, Justin first skims to the core and like he reaches out and touches it and then slowly just puts his hand through. I was like, you could have had something like reach out and grab him and pull him in or something. But instead he's like, whoa guys! Thing's pulling me into the thing.

[01:02:29] Emily: Yeah. Well, they had lost con they had lost contact with them, but I mean, Yeah, I, that it would've been better if it like just grew teeth or something.

I don't know.

[01:02:36] Ben: Yeah.

Before we get into our final topics uh, one thing I do want to post to the group is what did y'all think about what we did get of the really intense, like gore orgy torture dimension, which apparently that kind of stuff made up the bulk of the lost footage. Which is like a lot more of that.

[01:03:00] Emily: I mean, it's, it was pretty standard like Hellraiser shit. There were like bits of orgy back there. Like I could sort of see orgy happening in the background of the, of the, or of the video, but...

[01:03:15] Ben: Well, apparently again, according to the Wikipedia page here, he hired pornographic actors to act out like some of the orgy scenes and he cast amputee actors to portray like the characters in various states of mutilation.

[01:03:34] Emily: Huh? Hmm.

[01:03:36] Ben: Which, yeah.

[01:03:38] Emily: Hmm. Um.

[01:03:39] Ben: Apparently again, and they quote, it was called the "blood orgy". The "blood orgy" video was longer.

[01:03:45] Emily: Right. And that was called "blood orgy".

[01:03:48] Ben: That's what they call it. The "blood orgy" scene.

[01:03:50] Emily: Okay.

[01:03:51] Ben: Like there are quotes around "blood orgy".

[01:03:54] Emily: Okay. Cause that's what I called. I didn't know that. I didn't know that when I called it.

[01:03:58] Ben: Capital B, Capital L.

[01:03:59] Emily: It's what else is it as a fucking "blood orgy"?

[01:04:01] Ben: What else can you call it? But the "blood orgy"?

[01:04:03] Emily: This is-.

[01:04:04] Ben: Like-.

[01:04:04] Emily: Very true.

[01:04:05] Ben: Is it. in your opinion, is there so little of it that it's just some like meaningless shock, whatever. Is it still like, kind of like a part of the appeal of the movie for just like how out there it is or do you think it is like legitimately like upsetting and potentially disturbing for viewers in a way that isn't necessary for the story?

[01:04:29] Jeremy: Yes. Like all of those?

[01:04:31] Emily: Yeah. Uh, Yeah, I would, yes.

[01:04:34] Jeremy: I feel like to say the same thing I said about other stuff in this earlier, I feel like I need more or less. It really hems and haws and this like, if you're gonna do something really bloody and grotesque and fucked up, then like you gotta commit to it.

Like you gotta just. Lean into it. And I guess they tried to and Paramount balked at it.

[01:04:53] Ben: Apparently some audiences during test screenings, fainted.

[01:04:57] Emily: That's- I- pics or didn't happen.

[01:05:01] Ben: Right?

[01:05:01] Emily: I mean like.

[01:05:02] Ben: That's the part of the Wikipedia article you take with a big old grain of salt.

[01:05:06] Emily: Yeah. Although if they don't have the footage, I don't know. It feels, that feels very bait-y to me. Like, it feels like it's, it's like, oh, there's a director's cut out there somewhere.

[01:05:16] Jeremy: Yeah. It feels like Freaks where they were like, oh, there's stuff that's so disturbing in this, that people ran screaming from the theater and you watch it. And you're like, but what part? The what with the, I need to know what part.

[01:05:29] Emily: This is what you're talking about? This right here?

[01:05:33] Jeremy: Yeah, they did some consultation with Clive Barker on this movie, which like makes sense.

[01:05:37] Emily: Well I'm glad he was involved a little bit, you know, like glad they weren't just being like, oh, we're doing Hellraiser in space. Don't tell Clive.

[01:05:45] Jeremy: Yeah.

[01:05:46] Emily: And then Clive Barker sees it and he's like, wait a minute. This is what I sound like.

[01:05:51] Jeremy: Yeah. I, I feel like this movie. I remember seeing it. And I remember it being better. like, that's the way I feel about everything in this movie pretty much is like, man, they're kinda onto something and then they just kinda pull it back and like, there's kind of a story there, but not very much.

There's a good movie hiding under the surface of this movie somewhere. but that movie is not what we were presented with. That movie has a lot of people like going back and returning to the same areas of the ship immediately after something attacks them. And then being like, this is fucking weird, man. I don't wanna be here. And then-.

[01:06:33] Ben: The practical sets are amazing, but kind of not in a way where they immerse me in the movie, like, they're almost, distractingly good where they make me really aware that I'm watching a movie where I'm just being like, man, those set designers fucking nailed it. Good for you.

Ah, shit. I missed that guy's line. Well, I was too busy admiring the set.

[01:06:53] Jeremy: Like you were talking about the fucking meat grinder hallway and they don't do anything with that. Like-.

[01:06:58] Emily: No, they don't.

[01:06:58] Ben: I have to imagine Paul W. S. Anderson looked at that hallway and went like, one day it's gonna have so many goddamn lasers.

[01:07:08] Jeremy: Yeah. Like if somebody had just been thrown off that little bridge through the middle of the thing and gotten caught in there, like would've been great. Just like all the spikes that are in the- the engine room. Like nobody gets hit by spikes. Everybody's falling into the water.

[01:07:21] Ben: The movie needed more gore, but it didn't need the "blood orgy". It needed person thrown into the meat grinder hallway, someone impaled on a core room spike.

[01:07:33] Emily: I think there was in one of the like flashes. There were people impaled on those core room spikes. I do believe I saw that it was very brief.

[01:07:42] Ben: Those spikes were made for impale- I don't know how someone like, even before he turned to evil, no one was like, Hey uh, Sam Neill

[01:07:49] Emily: That's perfectly safe.

[01:07:53] Ben: Why you got that there?

[01:07:54] Jeremy: Apparently in like the original description from the script of this engine room, it's just a plain room with like a weird creepy ball floating in the middle of it, suspended by, you know, robot, arms. And that's it. It's not like this weird, weird oversized puzzle box that, yeah. Uh, That is the engine in this one.

I just, like, I just need him to- here- here's the thing for me is this movie is about a spaceship driving people insane. And it is about like this last crew from what we're shown, cut each other up and murdered each other while having sex and going insane. But what our crew does is get caught by a bunch of gotcha special effects. Like , you know, the one person that we see get killed by the ship is killed like when she goes to hug her child and oops, there's a hole there and she, you know, falls down.

[01:08:48] Ben: She dies via Home Alone trap.

[01:08:50] Emily: She, she just doesn't look down.

[01:08:53] Ben: I do appreciate that. It's like a really far drop and we go with her body and then it's like, and look, now the final battle room is gonna have like a cool blood pond for Laurence Fishburne to have a really funny face while he back flops into it.

[01:09:08] Emily: While he is looking at his firearm. I mean, I would look at, I would look at my arm on fire that way.

[01:09:13] Ben: Uh, It's great. This is a great face. I'm like, never stop Larry Fishburne.

[01:09:18] Emily: Oh boy.

[01:09:21] Ben: Just back flipping right into that blood. Which how much blood does Peters have? Because that in the core room is fucking like red, red, red.

[01:09:30] Emily: It had a bunch of coolant. Well, that ship could like bleed whenever it wanted to.

[01:09:35] Ben: That's true. That ship's fucking extra as fuck. Who was Mo like, I don't know how no one was just looking at Sam Neill going like, dude, the fuck were you on when you made this? Like how fucking extra can you make a goddamn spaceship? That spaceship is so goddamn, moody and weird before it went to literal Space Hell!

[01:09:55] Emily: He's just like I was in The Omen. I don't know what to tell you. That's just how I roll.

[01:10:00] Jeremy: Okay. And then the one other thing-.

[01:10:01] Emily: From beyond.

[01:10:02] Jeremy: - I wanted to talk about, threw me off in this is after they get in the ship and uh, Sam Neill wakes up the first time when he's not really awake, but he thinks he is. And he is walking around the inside of the ship shirtless by himself, still wearing pants, but like looked at me and was like, what the fuck is wrong with his body? And I was like, oh, he's sucking his gut in for some reason, walking around just like gut sucked way in trying to like be shirtless in this scene.

And I'm just like, dude.

[01:10:35] Emily: Bless him.

[01:10:36] Jeremy: Either put his shirt on or just let it go, man. You look weird as Hell. Cause you, you had seen, he was very clearly like sucking in and that's like.

[01:10:44] Emily: That's why his scream was so bad as that he was, he had no regret.

[01:10:50] Ben: I do have to give him credit. Richard T. Jones? Fucking cut in this movie.

[01:10:55] Emily: Yeah. If I was Sam Neill, I would be fucking sucking my gut.

[01:10:59] Ben: Yeah. Like I feel like Sam Neill probably came on set for the shirtless scene feeling OK, and then Richard T. Jones, like you showed up and Sam Neill was like suck it in Neill!

[01:11:08] Jeremy: Yeah. I, the one thing I did ask- I did ask Alicia about like, when they first introduced Richard T Jones' character, I was like, do you think this script said an Eddie Murphy type? They were just like, he's got, he's got the same mustache he's doing the same, like over jovial greeting and messing with everybody to the point that like, it almost doesn't make sense the reaction that like Laurence Fishburne is having to him, he's like, eh, okay. I love you guys. This is great. We're gonna go on the ship. Laurence Fishburne is like pipe it the fuck down.

[01:11:39] Emily: Okay.

[01:11:41] Jeremy: Like what? It's like they weren't his crew before this. One mission.

[01:11:45] Ben: Cooper seems like he should be in a GI Joe or a Power Rangers type, like franchise. Cooper.

[01:11:53] Jeremy: He's definitely not in the same film.

[01:11:54] Ben: Oh, no. Cooper comes from a entirely different fucking genre.

[01:11:58] Jeremy: Yeah.

[01:11:58] Emily: I kind of love it though. Not gonna lie.

[01:12:00] Ben: Oh yeah, me too.

[01:12:01] Emily: I kinda love it.

[01:12:02] Jeremy: Yeah, everybody else is like moody and depressed the entire movie about everything. And meanwhile, Cooper's like, Hey, I was out the longest on this thing, doing these things. Hey man, you didn't, you don't seem to like it in this shit very much.

Fuck you Cooper. All right.

[01:12:17] Ben: Coopers, Coopers interests being like I'm great at being an outer space and I'm the biggest badass, but in a jolly way, and then spends the rest of the movie proving that to be very true.

[01:12:29] Emily: That's true. Yeah. He's and yeah.

[01:12:31] Jeremy: Well, everybody else is like, fuck you Cooper.

[01:12:33] Ben: When he just like, honestly, when he just like shoots through a cable to like rescue Justin through a black hole, I'm like this motherfucker is either about to be totally awesome or just like die horribly.

Like Chris Hemsworth in Cabin in the Woods.

[01:12:49] Cooper: What exactly is it you do onboard this ship? Co. Listen up doc. I'm your best friend. Okay? I'm the lifesaver and the heartbreaker. He's a rescued technician.

[01:12:58] Emily: Heartbreaker, lifesaver. What a badass, please, man.

[01:13:03] Ben: He give now he does give you a little workplace, sexual harassment with your coffee in the morning.

[01:13:08] Emily: That's true.

[01:13:09] Ben: This would've been right after Independence Day. The only reason a casting director wouldn't have said Eddie Murphy type is if, instead they said Will Smith type.

[01:13:18] Jeremy: Yeah.

[01:13:19] Emily: Lil' bit. Lil' bit.

[01:13:20] Ben: Like you can't even see the spaceship. He's just like, well, time to just use up all my air shooting off in the vague direction of Neptune.

[01:13:32] Emily: You see the curve of Neptune. Like he has a months journey out from Neptune, like in space, like the distance between him and Neptune is unreal. Like he would be so dead, but no, his magic air pressure gets him back at a speed that would liquefy him, but oh, He's that hardcore.

[01:13:54] Ben: Speaking of space, not working. Can we talk about why Justin's decompression was weirdly gradual before the doors even opened?

[01:14:04] Emily: Well, the thing decompressed started decompressing, like it's, it was it decompressed slowly, which is apparently a, a process that you could not cancel at any time.

[01:14:15] Jeremy: See, like, when it, I think you're talking about like, when the skin sucked in and you could see his veins, which I thought was going to be a prelude to there being something actually inside him, which he says there's darkness inside him.

But that is never delivered on.

[01:14:28] Ben: Yeah. Like his eyes are starting to explode and it's like, the doors are still closed. Yeah. Like you're not in space yet. Why is the space things happening to you?

[01:14:38] Emily: They're adjusting pressure so the people in the suits don't get the bends? I don't know. I don't know, man.

[01:14:43] Jeremy: It's because the only types people can exist in the future are white, British people and African Americans. Yeah. Yeah, they have to kill off- well. They just about kill off Justin and they do kill off Peters. Who are the uh, two people that are either of those things.

[01:14:58] Ben: There's no way Laurence Fishburne in this movie, isn't in some way, a model for Idris Elba in Prometheus.

[01:15:04] Emily: I forgot he was in Prometheus. I'm really sad that you reminded me of that.

[01:15:08] Jeremy: Oh really?

[01:15:08] Emily: Actually. I'm not that sad.

[01:15:09] Jeremy: Be reminded of it next week anyway.

[01:15:11] Ben: Right?

[01:15:11] Emily: That's true.

[01:15:12] Ben: Well, look, he is like pretty much the only character that doesn't like stupid himself to death.

[01:15:17] Jeremy: I mean, it's also-.

[01:15:18] Ben: Him and Benedict Wong who is also in that movie!

[01:15:21] Emily: Oh fuck.

[01:15:23] Ben: Yeah. Right, right.

[01:15:26] Jeremy: I mean, it's also the same character Idris Elba is in Pacific Rim. So.

[01:15:30] Ben: He is, but he is like, he is wonderfully down to earth and intelligent in what, may be this stupidest cast of horror movie characters we've ever encountered.

[01:15:43] Jeremy: Yeah. So, I mean, we, we talked a little bit about race in this movie. The only types of people that exist are black Americans and white British people. And that doesn't really have anything to say about skin color or race or anything in this.

[01:15:57] Ben: Also Sam Neill, just.

[01:15:59] Emily: He is Australian.

[01:16:00] Ben: Yes. Or

[01:16:02] Jeremy: I thought Sam Neill was Irish.

[01:16:04] Ben: I thought he was New Zealand.

[01:16:06] Emily: Oh!

[01:16:08] Jeremy: Hold on.

Let's play. Where is Sam Neill from. Sam Neill born Omagh County, Northern Ireland.

[01:16:13] Ben: North Ireland moved to New Zealand. So pretty much everyone is right. Except for whoever the fuck said Australia.

[01:16:22] Emily: Someone said New Zealand!

[01:16:24] Ben: You know who you are, but I don't cuz I already forgot it might have been me.

[01:16:29] Emily: I said it was me. I said Australia.

[01:16:31] Ben: Oh, okay. I'm sorry for being it's okay.

[01:16:33] Emily: It's okay. I deserve it.

[01:16:35] Jeremy: Yeah. He's from Northern Ireland, Ireland. So technically he is both Irish and British. But he is not from true. Yeah.

[01:16:41] Ben: That's true. That's welcome to Progressively Horrified discusses the Northern Ireland border. We're clearly uh, qualified to talk about that.

[01:16:52] Emily: I've actually, I've been there!

[01:16:53] Ben: To that Hornets nest.

[01:16:54] Emily: I was there in 1990.

[01:16:56] Jeremy: So not much to say about race.

[01:16:57] Ben: Good to go.

[01:16:58] Jeremy: This movie also doesn't have anything to say about the conflict in Northern Ireland.

[01:17:02] Ben: What does this movie have to say about Brexit, Jeremy?

[01:17:06] Jeremy: Nothing. It also doesn't have anything to say about queer people at all. That's not an option in space future.

[01:17:12] Ben: Honestly, thankfully.

[01:17:14] Emily: Unless it's a blood orgy.

[01:17:15] Ben: Hell.

[01:17:16] Emily: Which is problematic.

[01:17:17] Ben: "Blood orgy" sex doesn't count. That's its own thing.

[01:17:22] Emily: I, yes.

[01:17:23] Jeremy: Everybody's queer during a "blood orgy". Come on.

[01:17:26] Emily: Yeah.

[01:17:26] Ben: No, one's doing missionary in a "blood orgy". I tell you that.

[01:17:30] Emily: I'm pretty sure I saw some people doing missionary in that "blood orgy". Okay.

[01:17:34] Ben: Fine. But they were probably eating other people with like missionary is okay. If you're also doing a light cannibal.

[01:17:39] Jeremy: Well, see their missionary from Hell though. Their missionary is for the devil. It's a different type of missionary position.

[01:17:46] Emily: As long as you're doing missionary as a missionary, then it's...

[01:17:51] Jeremy: Also, so this movie has nothing to say about class, unless you want to attribute the fact that the one person who's a doctor of physics is just a fucking asshole in this movie to class.

[01:18:01] Ben: Again, like, yeah, this movie isn't really about anything deeper. Like the whole premise of haunted house in a spaceship is an amazing premise. And this movie does a lot of fun, cool things with it, but I don't think it ever really developed anything more to say beneath that premise. No, like, again, like we're not talking like crazy political themes, but just the way, like, which again, something like Alien did have with the hoods talk about corporation, but even something like Aliens had a, like a simple but effective theme of just motherhood.

There's not that there.

[01:18:39] Jeremy: Yeah. I, yeah. from a perspective of feminism, I do think like it almo it starts to make me think that I was doing something good here in that like, they don't sexualize either of the, like female members of the crew, but then you do also have Sam Neill's dead wife walking around naked all the time for no reason being a demon.

So like, I did appreciate that, like that first scene inside the Lewis and Clark, where everybody's stripping down to get in the vats all of the female members of the crew are wearing normal sporty underwear. And like, they don't spend a lot of time, you know, panning across asses or anything like that.

It's just like, they're treated like all the other members of the crew, which is like, a really, basic level of feminism that is also not present in a lot of movies. But, you know.

[01:19:29] Ben: It reminded me that's of the unisex, communal showers from Starship Troopers. It was, it reminded me of.

[01:19:36] Emily: Slightly less ridiculous than that.

[01:19:39] Jeremy: It doesn't take much to be slightly less ridiculous than Starship Troopers.

[01:19:42] Ben: Yeah. Right?

[01:19:43] Emily: That's damn sure.

[01:19:44] Ben: Smart bug slightly, slightly less ridiculous than the Neil Patrick Harris is Nazis against space bugs movie.

[01:19:52] Emily: That was a smaller part of this bigger movie. I mean, Neil Patrick Harris was there and he was a Nazi and he was a space. He was a Nazi against space bugs.

[01:20:01] Ben: It may not have been the, A plot, but it was a plot.

[01:20:05] Emily: That's I mean, valid.

[01:20:07] Jeremy: The only thing that this movie has the grounds to say something about is physical disability and mental health. And it fumbles that ball all over the place. Mm-hmm yeah. Like it's just space madness.

It's nothing like that. Has any like redeeming value or interest.

[01:20:24] Ben: It takes a pretty firm stance on Hell. It thinks it's bad and you don't wanna go there. it?

[01:20:33] Jeremy: It does.

[01:20:33] Ben: It'd be bad.

[01:20:34] Jeremy: The same stance on Hell that the M and M's do on Santa Claus. It does exist.

[01:20:39] Ben: You really don't wanna go to Hell and you also don't wanna be stuck on a spaceship and you definitely don't wanna be stuck on a spaceship that's also Hell.

[01:20:47] Jeremy: On the Hell ship.

[01:20:50] Emily: God.

[01:20:50] Jeremy: And this is how noon okay.

[01:20:53] Ben: So what would we recommend? Do we recommend?

[01:20:55] Jeremy: You recommend people watch this movie?

[01:20:57] Ben: Yeah, it's fun. It's a lot of fun's like, it's fun. Look, like it's a fun premise that isn't fully lived up to, but is executed in a way that's gonna make you laugh. There's a ton of really cool and good visuals and look, no one's putting in an Oscar worthy performance, but there's a lot of uh, you know, F pretty big name actors who are always absolutely delightful to see and continue to be delightful here.

[01:21:27] Jeremy: Yeah. It's a really mediocre three stars. Like it comes.

Yeah. It's, it's a pitch. It's a slow pitch right across the plate. Like it's not, it's not doing anything. It's not trying anything too desperate. It is-.

[01:21:42] Ben: Have yourself a couple beers with it.

[01:21:44] Emily: Oh yeah. It's a great party movie. Throwed on Halloween party. You watch it and you're like, huh. And then, you know.

[01:21:51] Jeremy: You don't even really need to watch it. I mean, cuz where it's going, you don't need eyes.

[01:21:54] Emily: Yeah. Yeah.

[01:21:56] Jeremy: So yeah, I mean, it's, it's not gonna hurt anybody to watch this movie. But-.

[01:22:00] Emily: Except Neil deGrasse Tyson.

[01:22:02] Ben: Yeah.

[01:22:03] Jeremy: Yes. Tweet Neil deGrasse Tyson about it right now.

[01:22:05] Ben: Neil, how I'm sure it has happened. Neil, how scientific is the concept of space hell?

[01:22:10] Jeremy: All right.

[01:22:11] Emily: Starts growing blood.

[01:22:11] Jeremy: Emily, what would you recommend people watch after seeing this movie? Like what, what should they check out?

[01:22:17] Emily: If you wanna watch this movie, but made by Disney, watch The Black Hole, cuz it's the same movie, but made by Disney in 1970. It doesn't have as many blood orgies in it, but that movie is fucked up. I will say content warning. A man is killed. Crazy. What is it? A man is killed by trash compactor blades. On a robot in the stomach. This fucking trash shredder thing goes into this dude's stomach and he dies. You don't see that much blood. And then Hell is there.

[01:22:52] Jeremy: All right. Ben, what about you?

[01:22:54] Ben: Well, you can't sum it up better than that. I am going to recommend the 2008 PlayStation three video game also for Xbox 360 Dead Space. If you do not have access to a PS three or Xbox 360 good news. It's being remade and will be released January next year. So only a few months away is a really cool and really intense and scary space, survival, horror game.

It takes a lot of influence from Event Horizon. Very much in that Hell is real and an outer space motif um, with just like crazy monster designs. Takes the dead wife storyline and does it a lot better and is, yeah, just a really exciting and cool action and horror game.

[01:23:48] Jeremy: Yeah. You, you were talking about the jump scares, not landing for you in this one. If Dead Space doesn't get jumps out of you, you're not alive. Like .

[01:23:55] Ben: Yeah. I didn't finish Dead Space because unlike horror movies, which I seem to be able to handle without issue horror video games tend to actually scare their shit outta me. So I tend not to actually finish them.

[01:24:08] Jeremy: Yeah. I,

[01:24:08] Emily: I mean, you're, you're immersed when you're playing a video game. You're immersed.

[01:24:13] Jeremy: I finished Dead Space. It did at least once ate three action from me. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Yeah. Good, great recommendation. I have sort of two which is if you watch this movie and you want something equally, if not more ridiculous.

No, it leans more into the ridiculous side. Uh, Go watch Doom because. I really enjoyed Doom. Doom does go all the way with the stupid that this movie threatens to. If you wanna watch a movie that is as good as I remembered this movie being go watch Sunshine. It's written by Alex Garland directed by Danny Boyle.

It is a movie with some, with some space madness that is much, much better and has a much better handle on things like physics than this movie does. Yes. it's legitimately good. And has at least as good of a cast as this movie because yeah, I mean, with, you know, the all star crew behind it on top of that, and you have Cilian Murphy, Rose Byrne, Chris Evans, like Michelle, Yeoh is in that movie.

Benedict Wong is also in that movie. That's right. Talk a lot about Ben Wong. He's

[01:25:15] Ben: in a lot of big Wong. Just pops up everywhere. Doesn't he good for you? Ben and WG. That's a good cast.

[01:25:22] Emily: Yeah. It's a real Sunshine is a really good, I love Sunshine. Watch that one. It is. It has some similar

[01:25:28] Ben: Benua also in an iation.

Yes. Benedict won. Just fucking killing it with the sci-fi horror.

[01:25:34] Emily: Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Um, And also Prometheus. Mm. Not killing it, but at least he's there like that. That is to say, I'm glad you actually, I'm glad you mentioned it because now I have something to look forward to.

[01:25:47] Ben: Y'all ever since we started this podcast, I've been looking forward to Prometheus.

[01:25:53] Jeremy: We are, we are a week away from recording about Prometheus to this point. I still have not seen this film. So.

[01:25:58] Ben: Get ready for a Resident Evil tier shit show.

[01:26:05] Emily: Good.

[01:26:06] Jeremy: But yeah, go watch Sunshine. Sunshine's actually good. He's got a great cash and fucking Alex Garland wrote it before he was directing movies. So like, if you watch Annihilation like that, there you go. This is that dude.

[01:26:18] Ben: That sounds like a movie we should cover at some point.

[01:26:21] Jeremy: Yeah.

[01:26:21] Emily: Absolutely.

[01:26:22] Jeremy: You know, Danny Boyle directing stacked on top of that. So like, yeah, it's a good movie. All right. What do we do after that? That's it? Okay. Well, if, so, if you want follow up with us, tell us about what you think. You can find Emily @MegaMoth on Twitter and Mega_Moth on Instagram and at megamoth.net.

Ben is on Twitter @BentheKahn and on the website at benkahncomics.com where you can pick up all of their books. And finally for me, you can find me on Twitter and on Instagram @JRome58 and on my website at jeremywhitley.com. Of course, the podcast is on Patreon. It Progressively Horrified our website, ProgressivelyHorrified.Transistor.FM and on Twitter @ProgHorrorPod.

We would love to hear from you, tell us what you think of, of Event Horizon and that stupid swiveling fucking captain's chair.

[01:27:09] Emily: It's too bad. It's too bad that they didn't have that share on the Event Horizon or else their "blood orgy". Would've been a lot more exciting.

[01:27:15] Jeremy: I mean, what's a "blood orgy", if not exciting, honestly.

[01:27:18] Emily: Well, seen one, you've seen 'em all really.

[01:27:21] Jeremy: Well, you only see one, that's a lucky part. Uh, Speaking of loving to hear from you, we would love it if you'd rate and review the podcast. Give us five stars. Helps us find new listeners. Thank you as always for Emily and Ben for joining me and thank you for all of you to listen for listening, to listening for listening, whatever.

I don't know what the fuck happened to me here. Thanks for listening until next time stay horrified.

[01:27:46] Alicia: Progressively Horrified was created by Jeremy Whitley and produced by Alicia Whitley. This episode featured The Horror Squad: Jeremy, Ben, and Emily. All opinions expressed by the commentators are solely their own and do not represent the intent or opinion of the filmmakers nor do they represent the employers, institutions, or publishers of the commentators. Our theme music is epic darkness by MarioKohl06 and was provided royalty free from pixabay. If you liked this episode you can support us on patrion you can also get in touch with us on twitter @ProgHorrorPod or by email at progressivelyhorrified@gmail.com. Thanks for listening! Bye!